Black Pearls Magazine: Meet Nikkea Smithers

Nikkea Smithers is a spoken word artists and Essence Magazine Best Selling Author She has performed on stages in front of thousands.

Her literary work often speaks to issues in the community that are often under-discussed. Her readers have fallen in love with her ‘tell it like it is’ approach to writing making her readers lifelong fans.

Intimate Conversation with Ella Curry, CEO of EDC Creations
Ella:   Hello Nikkea!  Introduce us to your book, On The Flip Side.
Nikkea: On The Flip Side deals with a situation that many men face but little light is shed on. We often hear the story about the single mother doing it for her kids on a daily basis. While I would never want to take anything away from them, what we don’t often hear about is the single father who is standing up to his responsibilities and being burdened with social issues beyond his realm of control.

What if the mother is not the one holding it down? What if the father has the kids but the mother has the greed? On The Flip Side deals with a different kind of baby momma drama and show that real men are fathers and not just baby daddies.

Ella: Tell us a little about your main characters. Who was your favorite?
Nikkea: Tavares was on the path to be a very successful young man. A one night stand turns his life up side down and he finds himself in a position where he has to be accountable. As he struggles to be a respectable father the mother of his children does everything in her power to break him down. The twist to this tale is he just isn’t just a single father, he is also paying child support as if his kids don’t live with him and in two different states.

Danica is a very interesting woman with a serious God complex. She truly believes that she is better than everyone around her. Not only does her complex cause her to throw stereotypes around like they are going out of style but it causes her to play the role of karma. The problem with playing karma is that it’s bound to come back on you if you aren’t living right.

My favorite is Tavares because he is the epitome of real man. He immediately steps up to the plate and makes things happen. As you read the book you genuinely feel for him. His kids come first, plain and simple. Who doesn’t love a man like that?

Ella: Are your characters from the portrayal of real people? What inspired you to write this story?
Nikkea: The characters aren’t based on real people but are influenced by conversations. I love talking to people and my husband and I often throw these parties where there are debates on different topics. Of course one of the most popular topics of debate is child support. The men thought they paid too much. The women thought it wasn’t enough.

One man talked about how he was paying support in both NY and VA. He talked about how neither state would take into consideration the order in the other state. This blew my mind! My mother was even present and shared her views on the subject which opened my eyes even more. I see story lines in the strangest of things so I thought, what if was the other way around? What if the man had his kids and was still paying child support? So I wrote the poem On The Flip Side and was surprised at the response it got from men that were going through this very thing. Then a friend of mine and I were talking after she saw me perform the poem and was telling me about a friend of hers going through this only his child’s mother left the kids at the hospital after birth! I immediately thought oh this needs to be a book! I then took the poem and turned it into this book.

Ella: What issues in today’s society have you addressed in the book?
Nikkea: Child support is the obvious issue addressed in the book but there are several subliminal messages. I love dealing with subliminal messages and try my best to place a few in every novel I write. One issue is accountability. Society is really hard on women in regards to promiscuity but men don’t always get the same scrutiny. I want to show young men that they have to be responsible for their actions as well. That one night of passion could mean kids with a woman you don’t know or worse, a death sentance of H.I.V. Another issue that is addressed is karma. We really need to understand that what we throw out into the universe will come back to us pressed down, shaken together and running over.

Ella: What was your primary quest in publishing this book?
Nikkea: I love to break down barriers and talk about things that no one is talking about. At least not in this sense. I wanted the roles to be reversed and stretch my imagination. Especially with Danica’s character, I had to dig deep for her because she is so far from me and what I would naturally do. I wanted this book to be true to the characters and show them for who they are regardless of the outcome. I love being able to uplift my brothers and say kudos to those doing the right things. Through Tavares I get to connect with readers and share with them the story of a good man.

Ella: Thousands of books are published each year. What sets your book apart from other books in your genre?
Nikkea: It’s all about the message. My work is educational but entertaining. I want to enlighten people. I want them to finish one of my books thinking about the subject matter and want to take action. How can we change things if we don’t start by talking about them? I actively strive to write away from whats popular and get to the bottom of social issues that need to be addressed.

Ella: What do you like to do when you’re not writing?
Nikkea: When I’m not writing I love to read! I’m the biggest book worm. My husband and I joke that our house looks like the Library of Congress. I don’t discriminate. I have poetry from Langston Hughes to Nikki Giovanni. I have nonfiction from George Jackson to Steve Harvey. I have fiction from John Gresham to E. Lynn Harris. With me being a self published author I am also a huge supporter of self published authors because I understand their grind. I also enjoy culture. I love museums, art viewings, jazz clubs, and poetry readings. I love the movies too!

Ella: What does your family think of your writing?
Nikkea: My family is very supportive. My husband has a prized collection of all of my books in his ‘man room’ that he shows off to all his friends. He gets the first copy in every edition of all of my works. When he sees something has discouraged me he tells me to shake it off and keep doing what I do. My mother buys my books in bulk like she doesn’t know me! They are my two biggest supporters. I appreciate being surrounded by positivity and they keep me inspired to keep on writing.

Ella: Share with us your latest news, awards or upcoming book releases.
Nikkea: I was excited to find out that two of my books (Keith’s Story and Attitudes of a Woman) were awarded with the Literary Hallmark & Legends Top Books 2009 award by your Magazine. That honor was one of the highlights of my year! Within the next year I have three more books that will be released. I also look forward to touring and performing. I want to dedicate my time in the new year connecting with my readers. Book clubs who select my book as their book of the month can reach out to me so that I can make plans to either be present or available for a teleconfrence.
Email: info@nikkeasmithers.com  Website: www.nikkeasmithers.com  

Purchase the book at:  Amazon Online

Purchase the book at:  Barnes & Noble Online

 

 

 

Even Sinners Have Souls Too

Even Sinners Have Souls Too
Introduction by National Best selling author, K’Wan, with four stories by Darrell King and Essence Magazine bestselling authors, Michel Moore, Tysha and Victor L. Martin.

Meet author and editor E.N. Joy
E.N. Joy is the author of Me, Myself and Him, which was her debut work into the Christian Fiction genre. Formerly a secular author writing under the names Joylynn M. Jossel and JOY, this author has fully dedicated her writing to Christ. She is currently working on the “New Day Divas” series as well as completing the “Sinners Series” project.

 

Intimate Conversation with Ella Curry of EDC Creations

Ella: Introduce us to the book, Even Sinners Have Souls TOO.
E.N. Joy: Even Sinners Have Souls TOO is book two from the “Sinners Series”. As editor and publisher of this project, it was my goal to share with the reading audience well written and compelling stories by some of the industry’s most respected and authority authors in the Urban Lit genre.
 

 

Ella: Why was it important to produce this work today?
E.N. Joy: Books and authors of books that are categorized as urban, erotic, street, ghetto, gangster, Hip-Hop fiction, or whatever else they are being labeled, are taking hard hits in the industry, especially by these so-called “literary writers”. Why is it that whenever black people bring the life they live front and center and turn it into art, society goes crazy? Are we that afraid and offended of the ghetto and the projects to the point where we ridicule those who talk about it? Is growing up in the hood that taboo?

E.N. Joy: Despite popular belief, everything that comes from the ghetto isn’t all bad. There are some good products of the ghetto. It produces great individuals, some even authors. But because of the type of genre that these authors choose to pen, they are stigmatized and rumored unable to create literature without glorifying a trigger happy, drug dealing thug, or a burgundy micro braid wearing, gum poppin’, promiscuous gold digger, or a television stealing crack head (in addition to at least two curse words per paragraph).
 

 

Ella: Will this book change how Urban Lit is protrayed as a industry?
E.N. Joy: There is a huge misconception that authors who write Urban Lit, referred to as Street Lit by many, can’t pen a decent story that doesn’t include foul language and explicit sex scenes. These authors are even often accused of glorifying street life. The “Sinners Series” forces critics and skeptics alike to take a different stand when they read the storylines contained in the “Sinners Series.”

Ella: What are some unique aspects of the Sinners Series?
E.N. Joy: Even Sinners Have Souls Too offers more of Urban Lit’s finest take a walk on the other side in book two, Even Sinners Have Souls Too, of the three book Sinners Series. Darrell King and Essence Best-Selling authors, Victor L. Martin, Tysha and Michel Moore bring you four smashing tales, but not before National Best-Selling author, K’Wan, hits you with the powerful introduction, “Oh Sinner Man.”

E.N. Joy: The authors bring to life the same raw and gritty characters found in some of their other works. There are the dope boys, the hood rats, the promiscuity, homosexuality, the gang bangers, abuse, drugs, alcohol, etc…; all the things that exist in real life on the streets. But what makes these tales so phenomenal and unique is that in the midst of it all, just like in real life on the streets, there is also, God, prayer, and sometimes a praying grandmother. What pleased me the most about each and every story is that they never, for one moment, lost their authenticity. The authors still walked away from this project with their street credit, so to speak.

Ella: What impact with the Sinners Series have on the community?
E.N. Joy: The “Sinners Series” is going to shatter the myth about urban and street literature and its authors once and for all. This project is not so that authors have to defend their work, or even compromise it.

The purpose is to show that they are multi-talented with a natural gift to pen what flows through their spirit and not just what’s selling, and at the same time to add a creative twist on their already original writing styles. In doing so, we pray that readers will be touched and moved by every single character; every single story…that they won’t be the same person as they were before reading these works.

Website: www.enjoywrites.com

ISBN-10: 0970672659 | ISBN-13: 978-0970672650

Pick up a copy at Amazon

Color Me Jazzmyne By Marian L. Thomas

 

I would like to introduce you to a fantastic new book, Color Me Jazzmyne. Readers of Color Me Jazzmyne have been captivated by the depth of the emotional journey that the book takes them on. It digs deep into what it takes for women to embrace who they are no matter what size, color, educational background or social status. Sisters will learn to love themselves despite what society says or the voices that surround them!

Author Marian L . Thomas not only delivers her first novel but takes on real-life topics that are affecting society today. The topics that are discussed throughout her book are ones that are often rejected by mainstream publishing houses. She cuts to the core of serious subject matter: rape, the mental health of young women, self-esteem issues with women and the cutthroat world of the music business and lands the reader into the thick of a good story.

Color Me Jazzmyne – By Marian L. Thomas
Listen to Chapter 1 and tell us how you feel about this topic.
http://www.hudsonaudiopublishing.com/player.php?file=Chapter1.mp3

“Color Me Jazzmyne” is an unconventional, yet fascinating first novel by Marian L. Thomas.  At the frighteningly young age of thirteen, Naya Mona (later to be known as the famous jazz singer Jazzmyne) is raped by her own father and eventually gives birth to her son who is taken from her, his whereabouts unknown for many years. At seventeen, she escapes the intolerable household of her father to live in the city where her voice is discovered by the wrong people.

She meets struggle after struggle; people take advantage of her talent nearly wrecking her spirit, people she thought to be friends use her to get ahead in their own lives. But she does not break spirit, in spite of her many hardships. Later in life, as the story opens up, Jazzmyne meets her adult son for the first time since his birth. Many surprising facts are revealed about her past and her son’s past.

Jazzmyne likens her existence to a box of crayons. Each color expresses a different emotion, strength or weakness that makes up the essence of Jazzmyne. Thomas’ writing is so reflective and interesting.  But this is the purpose of the novel, to find out what color is Jazzmyne, which I still do not know or maybe do not understand her completely. Perhaps honesty is her color. In a world of hiding behind fame and from a past of deception from those who were supposed to be the closest, she wants only to be honest and real, especially concerning her son.

Thomas definitely cuts to the core of serious subject matter: rape and incest and the cutthroat world of the music business. The shocking reality of it all mixed with Jazzmyne’s relaxed and melodious voice makes “Color Me Jazzmyne” a true reading pleasure. The book is written in a kind of free flow, stream of consciousness style that one can hear her melody singing through the pages.

ISBN-10: 0615270670;  ISBN-13: 978-0615270678

Pick up a copy from Amazon , Barnes & Noble.com , or a Kindle download

Email: larrita@lbpublishingco.com ;  Website: http://www.marianlthomas.com

Snippet of a Review by Hudson Audio Publishing
http://www.hudsonaudiopublishing.com/featured.html

SOMEBODY’S SINNING IN MY BED by Pat G’Orge Walker

Pat G’orge Walker on Gospel Interviews with Larry W. Robinson

Pat G’orge Walker, author of “SOMEBODY’S SINNING IN MY BED” shares with Larry W. Robinson, host of http://www.gospelinterviews.com about her latest book which EXPOSES a Mega Church Pastor CAUGHT “In the Act!!!”
For more visit http://www.gospelinterviews.com

SOMEBODY’S SINNING IN MY BED by Pat G’Orge Walker
ISBN-10: 0758235402 | ISBN-13: 9780758235404
Available wherever books are sold

Pat G’Orge-Walker delivers a wickedly funny, uplifting novel of love and betrayal…good karma and bad karma…sin and redemption

Chyna and her sister Janelle are always moments away from a catfight. They love each other, but Janelle has never forgiven her sister for swiping her first love, Cordell. That was ages ago, and now Chyna is showing off as the First Lady of New Hope Assembly, a church that’s caught between the old ways of Holiness and new ways of serving its community. New Hope’s leader, Reverend Grayson Young, is also caught…in the infamous Sweet Bush lounge, an establishment well-known for adult pleasures.

With the church congregation running wild in the aftermath of her husband’s scandalous behavior, Chyna turns to her sister Janelle for guidance. But if Chyna thinks she’s getting sympathy from Janelle, she’d better think again, because Janelle’s got her own crisis. And when Cordell suddenly comes back into the sisters’ lives, what follows are squabbling, chaos, and surprises that show just how hard the road to salvation really is…

—

“Author Pat G’Orge-Walker is a comic genius! She’s woven a brilliant netting of both comical and loving characters that will cause readers to ’spill their guts’ with ‘out loud’ laughter.”

-Dawn Carter, Fox Pictures Diversity, Executive Producer, Contradictions of the Heart, Donlyn Pictures

One Night with You by Francis Ray

One Night with You by Francis Ray New York Times bestselling author Francis Ray continues her captivating series about the Grayson family and their circle of friends with One Night With You, as two people with no plans for romance find themselves blindsided by desire…

One Night with You by Francis Ray New York Times bestselling author Francis Ray continues her captivating series about the Grayson family and their circle of friends with One Night With You, as two people with no plans for romance find themselves blindsided by desire…

Latest Release: One Night with You
November 03, 2009
Series: Grayson Friends Series
ISBN-13: 9780312365066; ISBN-10: 0312365063

When you first started writing, did you think you would ever write as many books as you have and have such a loyal following? Did you know this would become a “business venture” for you?
Francis: I had no idea I would write this many book or have such a loyal following when I started writing. I simply keep trying to write the best book possible, and was blessed to find an editor who kept buying my books. Yes, I always knew that you had to take the business side of writing seriously to stay in this industry for years. It requires a great business head for book promotions and even more professionalism to handle the contracts.

What has been the best and the worst experience you’ve had on your literary journey?
Francis: The best is after I sold my first book, I’ve never had a book that was rejected. The worst was walking away from one publisher and unsure if I’d find another publishing house that wanted my books. Scary. Scary.

How long does it take you to write a novel?
Francis: The time frame differs. I wrote ONE NIGHT WITH YOU, my November 03, release in 3 months. IT HAD TO BE YOU, Book #4 in the Grayson Friends series, and the last book I wrote took six weeks.

Have you always wanted to be a writer?
Francis: No, the writing bug didn’t hit me until I read SHANNA by Katherine Woodewiss. By her third book I knew I wanted to write similar books. The difference was I wanted people of color to take center stage.

How did you get started writing?
Francis: I joined my local chapter of Romance Writers of America, North Texas Romance Writers of America. I’m proud to say I won the first service award, The Yellow Rose. The friendships and mentors were invaluable. I can honestly say that without them I would not be published now.

Do you remember the very first story you ever wrote? What age were you when you wrote it? Was it romance even then?
Francis: I had no idea I wanted to write until Woodewiss’ third book. The first story I wrote was Wife For Hire for Black Romance. I was an adult.

Since romance novels have a pretty set formula that they follow, how difficult do you find it to continue to write stories that will make loyal romance readers overlook that aspect of the book?
Francis: The only set formula I can see is that hero and heroine are at odds, but by the end of the story they’re in love and the writer has tested that love so the reader knows that whatever happens in their lives their love is strong enough to endure. I’d say the possibilities are endless. My plotting skills, not the parameters, is the challenge I face.

Several romance authors have ventured into writing in other genres such as mystery, etc. Have you ever considered taking that step also?
Francis: I wanted to write Christian fiction and was blessed to have been given that opportunity when Harlequin publishes, HOW SWEET THE SOUND. I’ve thought of writing young adult but I haven’t gotten past three pages.

What is your favorite part of the writing process?
Francis: The actual writing is probably my favorite part. Starting a new book is always scary. I plot slow. And despite my best intention, I always have loads of research on my character’s profession, the setting, even the cars they drive..

What is the hardest part of writing for you?
Francis: I guess the hardest part of writing is plotting. If I can’t see it, no matter how wonderful the story might be, I can’t write it.

What challenges have you faced in your literary journey? How did you overcome them?
Francis: Probably the biggest challenge in my literary journey was finding a publisher who wanted to publish African-American romances. Then, when I did find a publisher, distribution was spotty at best. If the book did make it to an outlet, the challenge was getting readers not to think the book was badly written because it was written by an African-American. I overcame the challenge by continuing to write and believing that I had a story to tell that people wanted to read.

What are your best and worst experiences as a writer?
Francis: The best is after I sold my first book I have never had a book that was rejected. The worst was walking away from one publisher and unsure if I’d find another publishing house that wanted my books. Scary. Scary.

What is the one thing that has surprised you the most during your writing career?
Francis: That people think all published authors are wealthy.

What authors influence your work?
Francis: Katherine Woodewiss, Elizabeth Lowell, Amanda Quick, and Nora Roberts.

What are you currently working on?
Francis: I’m working on BECAUSE OF YOU, Book # 6 in the Grayson Friends series.

How may we contact you online?
Website: www.francisray.com
Blogspot: www.francisrayblog.com
Myspace: myspace.com/francisray
Fanclub: readersoffrancisray@yahoogroups.com

Pick up a copy at Amazon
http://www.amazon.com/One-Night-You-Grayson-Friends/dp/0312365063/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1256167034&sr=8-1

Pick up a copy at Barnes and Noble
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/One-Night-with-You/Francis-Ray/e/9780312365066/?itm=3

One Night with You by Francis Ray —Read the First Chapter Excerpt

Link to read full screen:
http://www.docstoc.com/docs/document-preview.aspx?doc_id=13513498

I Need More by Kimberley White

 Meet Multi-Award Winning Author… Kimberley White
Kimberley White resides in metropolitan Detroit where she is a nurse practitioner during the day and a writer of steamy romances at night.  Visit her website at www.kwhitewrite.com.  Write to her at P.O. Box 672 Novi, MI 48376. Email: kwhite_writer@hotmail.com

I Need More by Kimberley White – New Release Blog
http://edcmagazine.blogspot.com/2009/10/all-way-by-kimberley-white.html

I Need More by Kimberley White
Paperback; ISBN-13: 9780758222107; ISBN 10: 0758222106
 

She Has Everything She Wants. . .
Dr. Erika Johnson’s life couldn’t get any better. Her practice is flourishing and her hunk of a husband Brock can’t keep his hands off her–until the day he suddenly leaves her without a word of explanation. Stunned, Erika has no choice but to cobble together a new life on her own. When she serves Brock with divorce papers, Erika is certain he’ll sign them so they can both move on. But that’s when the surprises really begin. . .

Except The Man She Loves…
Brock is sure he did the right thing. All he ever wanted was to bring joy into Erika’s life, not pain and sorrow. But when rumors reach him that Erika is seeing another man, he’s torn between what he thinks is right and what he feels is right. Despite everything, there’s no denying the fierce attraction she and Brock have always shared is burning hotter than ever. And when Erika finally learns Brock’s secret, they must decide if they will face the uncertain future together-or apart. . .
 

Preview Chapters from the book here.
 
Buy the book today!

In the Land of Cotton by Martha A. Taylor

The Making of In the Land of Cotton by Martha A. Taylor

Hello Martha!  It is such a pleasure to have you on The Black Authors Network author’s tour. The Give the Gift of Knowledge tour is used to expand the variety of books that our readers receive each month. Your book is a welcomed edition. Tell us a little about you and your passion for writing.
MAT:  I am a sixty year old grandmother of four. My writing career, until the last few years, has been one of those “don’t quit your day job arrangements”. I am a  tax professional who discovered early on that my creative writing skills came in handy when writing client letters to the IRS.  My passion for writing becomes evident in my books. It is a blessed opportunity to give birth to a character and watch them grow throughout the development of the story.

 Introduce  us to the story behind  the book, In the Land of Cotton:

MAT: As a child growing up in Memphis I could not have known that the Boyd family, the main characters in In the Land of Cotton, would have such a haunting effect on me. Last fall, their indelible personas became overwhelming. They were all I could think about. I sat down one afternoon and the book began to flow to paper. I still had vivid memories of Cypress Grove, a primitive farm the Boyd family had lived on since the days of the Civil War. They had no electricity, no running water and certainly no refrigeration yet they wanted for nothing. It was a step back in time but, as a child, I wanted to be part of that. As the reader journeys through the 1960’s, they travel along side the Boyd family as they experience the historic events of that decade. You will find as a reader that you will become immediately vested in the characters. The Boyd’s have the voice for every Black American that lived through those turbulent times.

We would like to explore some of the Intimate moments in the book. Read on as Martha takes us inside.

Martha, in your own words, tell us why this book was meant to be written.
MAT: In the Land of Cotton is a provocative and emotional chronicle of a young, inquisitive white girl coming of age in the color divided South of the fifties and sixties. My story places you smack dab in the middle of the Civil Rights Movement. It’s a heart-felt journey through American history that weaves a tale of forbidden friendships, misconceptions and human nature… human nature at its best and worst. 

 After all of these years I suddenly became compelled to write the story of Silas and his family. I wanted this new generation to know that it hasn’t been that long since black families lived in seclusion with no electricity…no running water or sanitation…no telephones or refrigeration. My heart is always in my words as I define that sole-mates are forever and true love..really is colorblind.  I wanted to remind the people of my generation of how long this journey has been; and to the younger generations, I wanted to present a time capsule of events so they would never forget the anguish, fear and tremendous sacrifices of their ancestors. In light of this year’s Presidential Election, In the Land of Cotton defines a beacon of hope for any individual, who has ever felt different or longed for more out of life.

Beside Lucy, the part-time maid for the family,  what made you so drawn to the woods? MAT:  It was the “not knowing”. It was the excitement of going somewhere no white person had ever been. It was the wanting to belong to something bigger than myself.   (Snippet From Cotton) Not smoke like the woods was on fire but smoke like came out of a fireplace; soft, mesmerizing smoke that called you to come explore the woods, smoke that carried your imagination and made promises of a different life, far far away from the one you were living.  

 

When did you know you were in love with Silas your childhood friend? MAT: One evening after Silas walked me back to the “white neighborhood.” We were always terrified someone would see us. It would have been tragic. Silas, who was an African American male, could have been killed but, we always took the chance.   (Snippet  From Cotton) I stood there holding my bike like some anchor that tethered me to the ground I was standing on. I watched Silas until he completely disappeared into the woods then waited a few more minutes after that, in case he returned.    

 

At the peek of the Civil Rights Movement when did you realize there still remained tension between the North and the South? MAT:  When martial law became the order of the day. When southern Governors stood chained to university doorways. When buses were bombed and almost daily we heard about some southern Black school that had been burned.   (Snippet  From Cotton) Martial law was declared in the South. Robert Kennedy, the Attorney General got involved and once again, Walter Cronkite had a television camera in every nook and cranny, capturing every slur and clubbing. For days he regurgitated the entire travesty right into our living rooms. The majority of country was enraged but here in the south, it was just another day in Dixie.    

 

Did Silas share your feelings and deep emotional bond? MAT:  Silas always appreciated the unspoken line in the sand. Inter-racial marriages were against the law in most states and prejudice ran high. “The Dream” was spoken of often by everyone; trouble was it was totally out of everyone’s reach and we all knew it.   (Snippet  From Cotton) We finished our picnic with small talk about his daily routine and the friends he’d met. Even Silas used color as a first descriptor. We were a long way from Martin Luther King’s dream. We were certainly a long way from mine.  

Was there a sense that time was short for you and the Boyds? Did you feel complete racial equality would ever be realized

? MAT:  The country had come so far in such a short period of time I knew we had reached the point of no return. Civil Rights and racial equality were marching through the streets of the South. At the same time, I felt it would be generations before racial equality would become the way of life.   (Snippet  From Cotton) I thought about what Lucy had said about poverty being generational. I thought the advancement of civil rights would most probably be generational also.

I thought that the Wallace’s (Governor of Alabama) of the world would eventually die off and each generation that followed would be raised to be less prejudice. I thought surely at some point all the seedlings that had been planted would eventually grow into strong trees and under their branches we would all live in harmony. I hoped that would be in Silas and my lifetime.  

Thank you Martha for sharing with us!  How may the readers contact you?
Martha A. Taylor, Author, “In the Land of Cotton”
Email: Taylortsg@Aol.com ISBN:978-1432734718

Purchase is In the Land of Cotton by Martha A. Taylor from Amazon

 

Meet Author Monique D. Mensah

 

Join Author Monique D. Mensah on a virtual tour…

EDC Creations and the Sankofa Literary Society announces the official virtual book tour of Monique D. Mensah, the award-winning author of the dramatic fiction, Who Is He To You. From September 1 to October 30, 2009, follow Monique D. Mensah on an interesting journey all over the Internet from the comfort of your home. Readers will be intrigued by the intelligent exploration of sensitive issues such as cutting, emotional abuse, depression, and drug-addiction.The first page which is filled with intense emotion and a descriptive setting that pulls the reader right into the scene. This virtual book tour is brought to you by EDC Creations Media Group. To learn more about our virtual tours, visit  www.EDC-Creations.com.

Give the Gift of Knowledge Campaign

EDC Creations announces the launch of the 2009-2010 Give the Gift of Knowledge Campaign, bringing readers and authors together to help improve literacy and change lives through the gift of books. A sincere thank you to all of our tour hosts, wonderful readers and book club members who continue to support us and our authors and business owners. During our travels, we meet so many wonderful people and we look forward to meeting more of you, and getting to know you and providing what you need to satisfy your literary appetite. If you have not done so already, please sign up for our newsletter to stay abreast of new literary events and the latest book news, reviews and author tours. We select 4 newsletter subscribers each week to review newly released books for us. Register here for the  Sunday News from EDC Creations.

Prizes for Bloggers and Reviewers

We offer special gifts for those who support the authors during our Intimate Evening reading series on BAN Radio and to those who respond to the posts! To become eligible to win 1 of 5 copies of Who Is He To You by Monique Mensah, follow author Monique Mensah on her virtual tour and leave comments at the blog stops and interviews. The lucky winners will be announced on EDC Creations’ Black Pearls magazine blog on November 7, 2009!    http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Black-Author-Network

Read Chapter 1 Who Is He To You by Monique Mensah 

How to Join the  Who Is He To You Book Tour

If you would like to follow the Who Is He To You virtual book tour, visit theonline media center frequently at http://www.blackpearlsmagazine.com/moniquemensah.htm  for the tour schedule. Meet her on the sites listed and add your comments or reviews. If you would like to host author Monique Mensah on your site, blog, radio show or magazine, please visit the online media center and select promotional material that will Give the Gift of Knowledge to your network.
 
Thank you all for Giving the Gift of Knowledge! Make sure to check out our bookshelves for gifts and books that change lives!

EDC Creations- Book Stores
http://astore.amazon.com/edcmagazine-20
http://astore.amazon.com/sanklitesoci-20

Ella Curry, president of EDC Creations
Website: www.edc-creations.com

Black Pearls BOM Children of the Waters

 

Black Pearls Magazine Presents the Pearl Book of the Month

Children of the Waters: A Novel by Carleen Brice

The author of the #1 Denver Post bestseller and Essence Book Club Pick Orange Mint and Honey explores the connection between love and race, and what it really means to be a family.

 

 

AUTHOR BIO

 Carleen Brice’s debut novel, Orange Mint and Honey (One World/Ballantine), was an Essence “Recommended Read” and a Target “Bookmarked Breakout Book.” For this book, she won the 2009 First Novelist Award from the Black Caucus of the American Library Association and the 2008 Break Out Author Award at the African American Literary Awards Show. Her second novel, Children of the Waters (One World/Ballantine), a book about race, love and family, is available now where ever books are sold. If you don’t see it at your local retailer, please go to the representive and request it. You can read an excerpt at her website www.carleenbrice.com.

She also edited and contributed to the anthology Age Ain’t Nothing but a Number: Black Women Explore Midlife, which was published in the U.S. (Beacon Press) and the U.K. (Souvenir Press). She is author of Lead Me Home: An African American’s Guide Through the Grief Journey (Avon/HarperCollins). Her book Walk Tall: Affirmations for People of Color, an Essence bestseller, was in print with traditional publishers for 10 years and sold 100,000 copies. It is currently available through iUniverse and Louis Gossett Jr.’s Eracism Foundation. Carleen and her husband live in Colorado.

 

Book Intro
Trish Taylor’s white ancestry never got in the way of her love for her black ex-husband, or their mixed race son, Will. But when Trish’s marriage ends, she returns to her family’s Denver, Colorado home to find a sense of identity and connect to her past. What she finds there shocks her to the very core: her mother and newborn sister were not killed in a car crash as she was told. In fact, her baby sister, Billie Cousins, is now a grown woman; her grandparents had put her up for adoption, unwilling to raise the child of a black man. Billie, who had no idea she was adopted, wants nothing to do with Trish until a tragedy in Billie’s own family forces her to lean on her surprisingly supportive and sympathetic sister. Together they unravel age-old layers of secrets and resentments and navigate a path toward love, healing, and true reconciliation.

 

Children of the Waters: A Novel by Carleen Brice
One World/Ballantine; Price $14.00
Pub date: June 23, 2009 ISBN: 978-0345499073

 

EXCERPT: PROLOGUE

Time was short. Maxine Kuepper was starting to say things she didn’t mean. Yesterday, she told her granddaughter to Move my dish, when she wanted to ask her to bend her leg. Trish stared, stumped and afraid, yet all Maxine could do was yell the word “dish” over and over knowing that she wasn’t making any sense. Cell by cell, bone by bone, Maxine was floating away. She didn’t know if it was the cancer or the medication that made her say such things. She was wearing a patch that released heavy doses of relief into her bloodstream, and still the littlest weight on her, like a sheet or the cotton nightgowns they dressed her in, hurt. The nurse promised that when the time came Maxine wouldn’t have any pain. “We’ll snow you out,” the nurse assured her. “Don’t worry.” Maxine would die the way her daughter did: like a mermaid swimming at the bottom of an ocean of drugs. It was small comfort after all these years to believe that Jocelyn hadn’t been in any pain when she died. Jocelyn. Such a cultivated name for a daughter who would not be tamed.

They were coming for her, Jocelyn and John, her husband, both dead. She dreamed of them so much now that sometimes she could swear they were really here in this room, whispering their secrets to her. They were coming for her. If they weren’t already here, she knew they were just over the other side waiting. And even though she was only sixty years old and her granddaughter Trish was only seventeen, she was ready to join them. But she had one last thing she had to do. She had secrets of her own to tell. She looked at the Polaroid picture she’d kept hidden for thirteen years.

Not even John knew she had proof of this moment. There was Jocelyn, blond and movie-star gorgeous even after just giving birth, holding the baby, only hours old with a cap of thick dark hair. And Trish, smiling wide, skin, teeth and hair white as cream, on the hospital bed next to them. Both girls marked with a stain that couldn’t be washed away. Maxine wished she had done things differently. But wishes are for the living. She sighed and pain rippled through her as her lungs pushed up against the battlefield of her ribs and the space where her left breast used to be. She raised the pen with the same amount of exertion that it used to take to lift a gallon of milk and began to write. The nurse said don’t worry. But how could she not?

What would they think of her? Would they hate her or would they be glad to know the truth? Probably both. But she would do this one last thing for them. She would make things right. As soon as Trish came home, Maxine would give her the letter. I should have told you this a long time ago, she wrote to her granddaughter, putting everything that was in her battered heart onto the page so that when the time came cowardice wouldn’t seal her lips. Each word, a lifetime. Just as she finished, she heard the front door open and close. Or she thought she did. Lately it was hard to tell what sounds were real and what sounds were memories sweeping over her like ocean waves.

But if it was Trish coming in, Maxine knew she did not have the strength to see the look on her granddaughter’s face after she read this letter. She didn’t have the strength to answer the question she knew would come no matter how hard she tried to explain: How could you? She opened the box, put the letter and photo inside, and replaced the lid. After she was gone, Trish would find everything she needed to know. When Maxine was buried, her lies would be unearthed. It wouldn’t be long now. She was sipping life from a glass that was neither half empty, nor half full, a glass emptying so rapidly she could see it in the eyes of the hospice nurses and the few friends who came to visit her at home.

The bedroom door opened, and Trish poked her head in. “Nana, you awake?” Maxine nodded, thinking For now, and, Please God let them forgive me.

——————

Carleen Brice, Author of Children of the Waters, June 2009 www.carleenbrice.com

A New Conversation with Men by Michael Taylor

A New Conversation with Men by Michael Taylor

Paperback: 189 pages
Publisher: PublishAmerica
September 29, 2008
ISBN-10: 1605635804
ISBN-13: 978-1605635804

Listen to a Intimate Conversaton Interview with Michael Taylor
Ella Curry and Michael Taylor discuss the new book.

“Men hate each other because they fear each other, and they fear each because they don’t know each other; they don’t know each other because they are often separated from each other.” —Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

 Is it possible to: Teach men to become great fathers? Encourage men to become better husbands? Teach men to live with passion and purpose? Get men involved in improving their communities? Join entrepreneur, author, motivational speaker, and radio-show host Michael Taylor as he shares how creating a new paradigm of masculinity can help heal America. This book is written to inspire men of all ethnicities, ages, socio-economic levels, and religions to come together to redefine manhood and to eradicate the multiplicity of challenges facing America today. Its intention is to remove the separation among men and remove the hatred, fear, and distrust that too many men feel about each other. It is a powerful, inspirational document written to educate, motivate, and inspire all men to reach their full potential. Join the conversation, and become a part of the revolution!

View the spirit filled message from author Michael Taylor

Finally, a 21st century guide has been created to help men eradicate fatherless-ness, domestic abuse, high divorce rates and senseless acts of violence. Michael shares with his readers his own experiences in achieving a new found confidence in being a strong male leader. Michael Taylor is an entrepreneur, radio show host and a recognized motivational speaker. He can discuss life changing topics, targeting men who seek change in their lives, including subjects such as:

* How men can have a better self outlook- increasing their passion, joy and creativity
* How men can eliminate the Five Illusions of Manhood
* How men can recognize the Five Masks of Masculinity
* Learning what Spirituality really means for men
* How men can transform their relationship with their families and associates

Michael is available for literary events, virtual seminars and as a keynote speaker. For more information about A New Conversation with Men or the companion social site, please contact Michael Taylor via email at: info@ancwm.com. Visit the website to purchase the book and to view the many resources for men at: http://www.ancwm.com.

How to Make Money With a Blog?

How to Make Money With a Blog?
Author: Duinu Vlad

In light of the fast rising popularity of the World Wide Web, internet blogging has become quite common. What was once a relatively unknown online service known as blogging has now become a very staple of what makes the internet exactly what is. Because of this, some savvy entrepreneurs see this as a great investment opportunity which has left a lot of people wondering How to Make Money With a Blog.

And surprisingly, it’s not very hard at all to start getting paid for your own personal blog – there are thousands, and probably even millions of different sites on the web that are all aimed at showing you How to Make Money With a Blog; and of course some of these sites work better than others, and some may not even work at all. The most difficult part of the task lies in sorting through the various different websites that cover the topic of How to Make Money With a Blog, and for many it is simply not even worth their time.

Then of course you have websites that claim to be able to teach you How to Make Money With a Blog, but when you get to their site you find that you are required to pay hundreds of dollars in membership fees. Most of these websites are outright scams – sending your money to these companies is a large risk indeed. There is plenty of information available on the World Wide Web about paid blogging, and the majority of information is free. You should always be wary of any sites that are asking for you to pay upfront, especially when it comes to paid blogging.

But there really are people out there who are getting paid for their blogging services, and if you really want to find out How to Make Money With a Blog, however, you are going to have to do a bit of your own research. Because a lot of websites out there are only trying to make money for their own company, they obviously value their own interests ahead of yours. The only way to a get a true, unbiased opinion about How to Make Money With a Blog is to take the time and sort through those thousands or millions of potential websites until you find those that work. While this may take you hours, and possibly even days, it is a necessary step for anybody who is serious about trying to make it in the professional blogosphere.

But there are some signs to look for in order to make the search easier when you are trying to find out How to Make Money With a Blog. First of all, avoid clicking on “Sponsored Links” that usually appear on the top of the search results you will receive at any online search engine. These are nothing more than that – sponsored links; meaning that the company has paid the search engine to put their link ahead of the rest. Often times unsuspecting internet surfers will click on these links simply because they are the first ones they see, but the majority of the time these are going to be nothing but the paid membership sites you are trying to avoid.

Without a doubt, One of the best places where you can find out How to Make Money With a Blog is through internet message boards and online discussion forums. Here you will be able to talk with hundreds, and probably even thousands of different internet users from all around the world, many of which are blogger themselves. While some get paid for it and some do not, most individuals who maintain a regular internet blog do know How to Make Money With a Blog, some choose not to however due to other personal obligations.

Newsletters and newsgroups are another great source of some valuable information, too – many of the users that frequent these types of sources are people just like you, and they all want to make money off from their own personal blogs as well. Because of this, everybody stays on the look-out for brand new paid blogging sites, and when they find them, they race to the message boards or newsgroups to share their findings and discuss the new site with everybody else. Be careful however, for paid advertisements that are disguised as plain message board posts – these positive reviews have just been paid for by the company, and therefore are not valid in the least bit.

Another good way to find out more information on how you can profit from your blog is by visiting some of the most popular blogs yourself and contacting the blogger via email. You would be surprised at how many professional bloggers actually do check their email every day and respond to their user’s questions. Just like with any business, good customer service keeps people coming back again and again. Getting paid to blog is absolutely no different.

There are plenty of great ways to make money with your blog – it just may take a little bit of patience at first. But believe it or not, there are professional bloggers who are getting paid hundreds, and even thousands of dollars a week; and you can too. As long as you have a little bit of patience, perseverance, and of course, a little bit of writing talent, it’s not very hard to find out How to Make Money with a Blog.
About the Author:
Robert Jensen is CEO at PayingPost blog advertising network where bloggers get paid to post and advertisers can promote their products.

Book Swapping and Exchange Sites

The idea of exchanging your old used books for new ones you haven’t read is an idea which is gaining momentum across the internet. Used book swapping sites now boast hundreds of thousands of registered members and millions of used books ready for to be exchanged with other book lovers.

So what is the appeal? Why should you join an online book exchange web site when there are so many other ways of acquiring books? Well, here are some arguments for and against joining.

The Advantages Of Online Book Swapping Sites

Why should you join a book trading site?

Well, for a start, if you are someone who regularly buys books, it is more than likely going to save you a lot of money. Book swapping sites are free to join, and for the price of postage and one used book from your collection, you can get new books to read. Effectively, this means you can pick up a new book for under $2 – this includes hardback books, cookbooks and textbooks too. That offers the possibility of making big savings when compared to any other way of buying books.

Secondly, you can give yourself a pat on the back for recycling books and saving the environment in the process. Swapping rather than buying books means less trees are felled to produce reading material. Again, this can only be a good thing so far as environmental issues are concerned.

Thirdly, it’s a great way to declutter your book shelves and help out someone else at the same time by giving them a book they are looking for.

Book trading sites are also a great place to find out of print and hard to find books. These can often be expensive to find otherwise, and you can waste a lot of time looking for them. At book swapping sites, you simply add the books you want to a wish list and when it comes in to the site, you are sent an email alert saying its there. Much easier.

One more thing – the selection is huge. Sure, you can go hit all the used book stores in town and you might find what you are looking for but probably not. A used book club on the other hand has millions of books in their system. One swap site claims to have over 2.5 million books and that’s just on one site.

The Disadvantages Of Online Book Exchange Sites

Firstly, why not just use a library? Then the books are free right? Personally, I look at libraries as something aside from all other forms of acquiring new reading material because you do not get to own the book. You get a specified period in which to read the book, in many cases will get fined for returning it late if you’ve not done with it, and have a limited selection to choose from. Libraries are great, but they’re not ideal.

Used books are not for everyone. If you like your books shiny and new regardless of the price, then an online book swapping club is not for you. Most swap sites have rules about the quality of book allowed to be offered up for exchange but they are predominantly used books.

New books make money for the publisher and the author, used books do not. Whilst its easy to argue they have already factored in trading on the used book market into the price of a new book, the fact remains, buying or swapping used books costs them money and may affect new authors in particular.

The Verdict?

Either way, online book swapping sites are becoming increasingly popular, with millions of books waiting to be traded with swappers all over the world. Whether a book swapping club is right for you is a matter of personal choice, but either way, it is something to consider the next time you look at that shelf full of books you’ll never read again or choke on the price of a new hardback.
About the Author:
Mark Falco is an avid reader and is always on the look out for ways to save money on his literary addiction.

The Five C’s Of Co-Creation

How To Share Power In A Relationship – The Five C’s Of Co-Creation
By: Paul & Layne Cutright

The evolutionary edge for humanity is sharing power. As a species we are gradually moving from using our power in self-centered adversarial ways to sharing our collective power for the mutual benefit of everyone concerned. We are shifting from a paradigm characterized by me or them to me and them. We are just beginning to tap into the power of co-creation.

It’s going to take more than good intentions for us to pull this one off. We are all going to have to learn to think differently, make new distinctions and include new practices in our business-as-usual routines.

We offer you the 5 C’s of co-creation to help you create a map for your exploration of this new and uncharted territory.

The 5 C’s are commitment, communication, cooperation, collaboration and coordination. If you are intending to create a future with one or more people it’s a good idea to deep the 5C’s in mind and to check in with one another periodically to see if you are taking them into consideration as you progress.

COMMITMENT - Setting your intention. What are we all committed to? Can we all state it succinctly? Does the commitment generate enthusiasm? Does it live in our everyday conversations with one another in some way? Are there any obstacles to honoring the commitment to our fullest ability? How are we dealing with those obstacles? Are we all committed to doing what is in our power to do, to have the co-creative endeavor succeed for everyone concerned?

COMMUNICATION - Creating the environment. As human beings our relationships live in language. What we talk about and how we talk about it determines the emotional climate of our relationships. Is our communication style fostering safety and creativity? Are we communicating readily, honestly, and openly? Are there things we are afraid to discuss that need to be discussed? Are there unspoken emotional undercurrents distracting our attention? Are there any recurrent communication breakdowns and is there a strategy in place so they can be avoided in the future? Does our communication include acknowledgment and gratitude? Are people making requests in order to take care of their own needs and wants? Are we giving effective feedback so we can improve as we go? Are we communicating our unified purpose to others in inspiring and enthusiastic ways?

COOPERATION - The necessary attitude. Are we cooperating? Is our cooperation motivated by an inner passion or is it being forced by fear and the need to go with the flow of others intentions? Are we able to find a common path through adversity or is it every man for him self when the going gets tough? Are there any competing egos vying for the spotlight at the expense of others? Are we clear on the benefits of cooperation in this creative endeavor? What is at risk if we don’t cooperate?

COLLABORATION - Synergizing ideas. Is there an attitude that everyone’s ideas are vital to the whole? Are we able to express our ideas freely without fear of judgment or ridicule? As a group are we asking BIG questions that bring forth the talent of everyone involved and excite our creative impulses? Are we able to engage in possibility thinking, not limited by the past or what has been? Are we skillful in bringing out the best in each other? Is the system in which we are working set up to receive the avalanche of creativity we can generate?

COORDINATION - Synchronizing action. What’s the plan? How are we coordinating our actions in effective and harmonious ways? Do we all have an overview of how all the different parts are working together? Are we clear on individual areas of responsibility and accountability? What are the consequences, if any, for failure to perform? How does time play into to it? Do we have established lines of communication? How often do we need to reevaluate the plan? How often and in what form (phone, meetings, e-mail) do we need to communicate in order to coordinate effectively?

We all play a vital part in the emerging paradigm of co-creation.  Discovering our unique contribution is part of the adventure. We hope that using the 5 C’s will help you better play your part in fulfilling the promise of humanity’s evolutionary potential.

We have found it very helpful to use written agreements that clarify the foundation of the co-creative relationship. These are the ones we like to use and we offer them for your consideration.

Co-Creator Agreements

1. I agree to bring my passion and talent to our collective endeavor.

2. I agree to speak the truth with compassion.

3. I agree to listen deeply and respectfully to others.

4. I agree to be responsible for my own needs, wants and sense of being valued.

5. I agree to acknowledge others generously.

6. I will readily use our predetermined protocol for resolving upsets in a way that fosters personal responsibility and collective harmony.

7. I agree to use mistakes constructively and practice forgiveness when called for.

8. I will strive to maintain trust and affinity and restore them if they are damaged.

9. I agree to turn my complaints into requests and communicate constructively to the person who can do something about it.

10. I will refrain from negative gossip.

11. I agree to manage my agreements with others in responsible and courteous ways.

12. I agree to encourage and be encouraged in bringing out our individual genius.

13. I agree to nurture a soulful connection with my fellow co-creators.

 

About the author:
Paul and Layne Cutright are authors of multiple books. They offer a variety of free relationship resources at their web site http://PaulandLayne.com. Subscribe to their Weekly Relationship Inspiration Program at http://PaulandLayne.com/Inspire and receive their How to Create Successful Relationships e-Course.

Marriage Is A Bond Of Many Dimensions

Marriage Is A Strong Bond Of Many Dimensions
By: James Wallis

There is one association, one relationship where this mask is thrown asunder by most people. There may be some who continue with it, but they are in a minority. This is the relationship of marriage. Not only is it the oldest relation that man has built it is also the foundation of human society.

Marriage

Marriage is the foundation stone or the first building block of what we refer to as society. All other human relationships revolve around it. Thus it is marriage which leads to parenthood, brings uncles and aunts into the picture besides the other obvious relationships of grandparents, cousins, nephews and nieces etc.

Marriage is what gives us the family which is the next building block of every society. It is considered to be the most sacred of all human institutions and every religion in the world has sanctified it through the ages. In spite of all differences of race, language, religion and region, marriage is one common factor amongst all the facets of mankind.

Durability of Marriage

Marriage has survived all upheavals in the history of mankind. Kingdoms and nation states were established and destroyed. New religions were established. Even the ever-changing trends of fashion have come and gone. Human ideologies have been established and destroyed but the institution of marriage has remained intact.

Marriage continues to be a milestone in the lives of millions of men and women across the globe. It is the dream of every little girl to end up in the arms of her prince charming and the longing or fantasy of every boy to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. The urge to marry is something that begins even when a person is in nascent stages of growth.

Reasons for the Durability of Marriage

Several reasons can be attributed to the fact of marriage having survived as an institution through the ages.

Intimacy: No other relationship can provide the levels of intimacy as are available in the institution of marriage. This intimacy can transcend the physical and emotional planes and be so great that in given cases it may even seem to be spiritual in nature.

Emotional Intimacy: The intimacy enjoyed in marriage can easily spread to varied aspects of one’s emotional well being. The spouse is a shoulder that is always there for the partner to lean upon. No other relationship can give the kind and amount of emotional succour that one can find in marriage.

Physical Intimacy: The level of physical intimacy that can be enjoyed in marriage is not easily available outside this relationship. In fact for a large number of people marriage is the first relationship in which they can develop intimate physical bonding. Celibacy before marriage is considered to be of great importance in several cultures and is cherished by those who espouse it.

Social Status: Marriage conjoins the social standing of the two partners. Their social circles become one and they develop common friends. An invite to one partner is automatically extended to the other spouse also. All social functions are common for them and they are deemed to be one in every societal aspect. This is but an obvious result of the above stated fact that marriage is the first building block of human society.

Legal Aspects: In legal parlance a husband and wife are taken to be one for all social purposes. The law gives such importance to marriage that in most countries and cultures the dissolution of marriage involves lengthy and cumbersome process. This process is referred to as divorce. In case of divorce proceedings, varied aspects such as the custody of children, division of marital assets, maintenance, are taken into consideration.

Parenthood In today’s day and age, single parent families are seemingly becoming the norm. This may be because of divorce or children being born out of the wedlock. However even today, marriage signifies the beginning of a family. Since ages marriages have led to parenthood. This opens up a new window altogether for the couple and can bring them closer than ever before.

Growth: A marriage provides social stability to a person. It can stabilise an individual in numerous ways and be the beginning of a new chapter in his or her life. The avenues for social and personal growth in marriage can be manifold.

 

About the author:
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com

How Do I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back

How Do I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back – 3 Important Tips You Must Know!
By: John Purden

Men are usually deep in emotions. They do not express well there feelings that is why they are often misunderstood. It is always painful in the part of girls when there boyfriend leave them with no particular reason, or if they had it is not sometime reasonable. How do I get my ex boyfriend back – the answer is by understanding men in nature. Through understanding how they feel and think about relationship could give you a good strategic plan.

How do I get my ex boyfriend back? It is easy. Just learn the three important tips on it.

First, how do I get my ex boyfriend back? Enjoy yourself first. Breaking up will give you mixed emotions. So it is helpful if you enjoy first and take time to relax instead of thinking always about the guy and how it ended up. Enjoying your life can give a good aura, wherein you will grow to another person, a glow in your face that will renew yourself. It is important that you will take good care of yourself first because sometimes worrying this much will lower your self-esteem and there is tendency that you will be ignored by your ex-boyfriend. So let him see that you are coping up or recovering well from your break up.

When you finally unwind and are ready to face what you really want, then it is important to keep in touch with him. Even the break up caused you a miserable feeling, the burning desire of yours to be together with him is what really matters. But of course, take it step-be-step until your ex-boyfriend realize that she needs you again.

Second, how do I get my ex boyfriend back? Be tough and flexible. By being tough you can decide properly. If you want your ex boyfriend to be back to you then be strong. Be strong in giving him the space that he wants for the meantime. Be flexible in dealing with your ex-boyfriend. Sometimes because of the desperation of winning him back, there is a tendency to be submissive. You can be over ruled by your emotions. Instead be tough and flexible. Know what is necessary and what is not.

Third, how do I get my ex boyfriend back? By being friend a friend him. The break up may be painful but there are still reasons for that to patch up. Being friend with him does not mean taking advantage of him to respond immediately to your feelings. But instead being friend with him means that you had accepted the whole scenario that you are not together in the picture. You are no longer a couple but instead two good friends. This may take a lot of time to accept but in this way being friend with him is one way showing to him that you are there for him.

The unstable emotions of men make them distant from their true feelings. Sometimes men need to open up their emotion to someone to be able also to understand how painful they are going through. Stopping themselves from crying or by hiding their true feelings, it becomes more difficult for them. so by being there with him, listening, it can be an advantage of winning him back.

 

About the author:
Want to learn the secret to how to get girl? Get free access to learn the exact secret on how to get your ex back quick, no matter how impossible your situation seems. Go to http://www.GetYourExBackInstantly.com NOW!

Separating Love Fiction From Love Fact

Seven Urban Love Legends: Separating Love Fiction From Love Fact

By: Dr. Diana Kirschner

When it comes to dating and love relationships there are certain “love facts” that most everyone believes. But, surprisingly, if we look at the actual research about these “love facts” we may find that they are not facts at all. They are fictions, myths. This is key information for anyone who is interested in creating a great love relationship; separating love fiction from love fact makes you an informed “consumer” when it comes to your dating and love life.

Here are seven of these mythic urban love legends and what the research actually shows us to be true about them.

 

Myth

1. The divorce rate in the country is 50%

Fact: It’s never been 50%. It’s actually 41%. The odds are better than you think. And a college education decreases the likelihood of divorce. This is shown by more sophisticated research.

Myth

2. You have one soul mate and meeting that “One” is the key to finding love.

Fact: Research shows that love and marriage take hard work, including commitment, positive communication, and the ability to resolve fights. The best relationship advice I can give you is that you need to work on yourself and choose someone, a good friend with chemistry, who’s willing to grow with you. These are the keys to a happy marriage. Sorry, no fairy tale.

Myth

3. When you are married fighting is an unhealthy thing.

Fact: Couples who suppress their anger have a mortality rate that is twice as high as those in which one partner stands up for him/herself. Fighting with your spouse and then resolving differences is a healthy thing.

Myth

4. Living with a boyfriend/girlfriend gives you a better sense of who your partner is and will make for a stronger marriage down the road.

Fact: Couples who have not lived together before marriage have healthier and more successful marriages. They also have less conflict, less abuse and are less likely to get divorced than couples who live together before marriage. However, a more recent study shows that couples who have committed to be married and live together do have a 28% decreased risk of getting divorced.

Myth

5. On the online dating websites the majority of men are lying about themselves.

Fact: Independent research shows that the number is only about 20%. Common lies concern income, profession, age, marital status and weight.

Myth

6. It’s better to wait until you’re more mature and get married in your thirties rather than your twenties.

Fact: People who marry after their mid twenties just as likely to get divorced and surprisingly are much more likely to have a poor quality marriage than those who married earlier.

Myth

7. Choosing marriage means more stress and financial drain in your life.

Fact: Married people are healthier emotionally and physically and they have more wealth too. Study after study has shown that love relationships have a huge impact on our psychological, economic, and physical well-being. Having a life partner can create a higher sense of self-worth, provide intimacy and emotional support which fulfills the deepest human need for connection, and lead to greater wealth and economic stability.

As a result, married people may be happier, live more satisfying lives, and have fewer psychological problems, including depression. Many researchers say that these factors lead to better physical health, greater health-seeking behavior, and lower rates of alcoholism. Here’s the big take-away: for over 100 years studies around the world have shown that married people live longer and enjoy a higher quality of life than those who aren’t partnered!

You can learn much more about urban legends and the latest research on love and dating in my new book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love.

About the author:

For 25+ years Dr. Diana Kirschner has helped thousands of single women find love. Her acclaimed new book is Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love. For her etips, blog, dating articles, daily affirmations & discussion forum http://www.lovein90days.com

Secrets Of Public Speaking

The Secrets Of Public Speaking – Follow These 10 Simple Tips
By: Andrew Rondeau

Is there anything more terrifying than facing an audience of strangers and knowing you have to deliver an entertaining and informative speech?

OK, some people thrive on this type of challenge! But the vast majority of us are at least a little nervous every time we have to speak publicly. In fact, fear of public speaking is probably one of the most universal fears throughout all walks of life.

Thankfully, public speaking is a fear that can easily be overcome with a little practice and the right approach. You can use the tips below to improve your public speaking skills.

1. Be prepared and practice.

The more you know what you want to say, the better you’ll get at it. First, brainstorm the topic of your speech and research it, if you need to. Write down all the points you want to make and then organize them into an outline. Fill in the details. Once you have the essential content of your speech written (at least in your head), transfer your main ideas to index cards. Write the main idea in dark ink on the front of the card, and if you think you’ll need cues, write them on the back of the card in pencil. Then, practice your speech out loud at least 3 to 5 times. If you can, practice it in front of a friend or family member and ask them for feedback and if that’s not possible, at least practice in front of a mirror. Do it until you can talk naturally, with only a glance at your cards. Don’t ever read your speech word for word!

2. Know your audience.

The better you know your audience, the easier it will be to connect to them as you speak. When you are able to make that connection, you’ll hold their attention. And seeing that you’re doing so will increase your confidence and comfort level, making it even easier for you to speak well. So, find out everything you can about the people you’ll be speaking to. Know what their “hot topics” are, inside jokes and so on. The more you know about what makes them tick and what interests them, the better speech you’ll be able to give.

3. Dress the part.

When you’re standing up in front of an audience, all eyes are on you. Like it or not, your image is important in this situation. So, dress to impress this particular audience. If you know your audience well (see #2), then you’ll have an idea how to dress. For example, you might dress in a conservative navy suit if you’re speaking to a group of bankers, but in a more casual, fashionable outfit when the audience consists of artists and designers.

4. Pay attention to the old KISS principle, that is, Keep It Short and Simple.

The key is to get your points across as quickly as possible. Don’t beat around the bush or try to impress with complex metaphors. Stories, however, can be a powerful public speaking tool, especially when they contain at least a hint of humor. But again, keep them short and on point. Shorter messages leave the impression of a savvy, smart speaker. They’re also easier for your audience to remember.

5. Speak clearly and at just the right tempo.

The mark of an inexperienced, uncomfortable public speaker is someone who speaks all in a rush, slurring words in her desire to get it over with. Don’t be this kind of speaker if you want to hold your audience’s attention. On the other hand, don’t speak so slowly your audience’s minds start to wander.

6. Use visual aids to illustrate your points.

Many people will understand your message more clearly when it is more visual. What we see often leaves a more lasting impression than what we hear. You can use slides, photographs, PowerPoint presentations, or even a simple whiteboard to add visual cues to your speech. One caution though—don’t turn your back on your audience as you use your visual aid, and don’t turn the lights on low for long periods, or you might be surprised to look up and see they are all sleeping!

7. Interact with your audience.

Lectures will rarely have the same impact on an audience that an open discussion will. Look for opportunities to involve your audience in what you are speaking about. Ask for validation of points you are making (“Am I right?” “Has that ever happened to you?”) or allow time for questions. Also, make sure to establish eye contact with your audience—and keep it—throughout your speech.

8. Speak with sincerity and passion.

You want to leave a lasting impression with the audience about your speech topic. So be sure you are true to yourself and your topic as you speak and don’t be afraid to inject passion and enthusiasm into the speech as well.

9. Come out from behind the podium.

You’ll project confidence and a sense of comfort when you have the courage to let go of the podium and stand in front of your audience with nothing to “protect” you. As you speak, you can walk back and forth across the stage, making eye contact with different people. Some speakers even walk out into the audience to get “up close and personal.” Be respectful of people’s personal space, though, if you decide to do this. You don’t want to be perceived as threatening or overbearing.

10. Close your speech in a memorable way.

Give your audience something to think about as you finish up your speech. Certainly, it’s a good idea to summarize your main points one more time, but then finish up with an inspiring story or quote, or leave them with a thought-provoking question.

Public speaking is an essential life skill that every person should strive to master. The ability to speak confidently in public will serve you in every part of your life, whether you are sharing opinions in a small group or delivering a planned speech in front of a group of hundreds.

About the author: Discover 7 Amazing and Powerful Secrets That Will Double Your Productivity And Reduce Your Working Week At The Same Time by receiving Andrew’s free e-Course and report: http://www.greatmanagement.org/

About the AuthorAndrew Rondeau transformed himself from a $4 an-hour petrol-pump attendant to a highly successful Senior Manager earning $500k every year. Discover 7 Amazing and Powerful Secrets That Will Double Your Productivity And Reduce Your Working Week At The Same Time by receiving Andrew’s free Career Course and report

7 Tips For The Unofficial Leader In You

7 Tips For The Unofficial Leader In You
By: Amy Linley

 

A leader can take many forms in many different business situations, often when a person isn’t even “the Boss”. If you find yourself in a group with a deadline with no leader in sight, you may have to be the one to take charge. When this happens, what should you do and NOT do?

When people normally think of a leader in business they think of the boss, but being a leader doesn’t require a fancy title, or even official recognition. Leadership simply needs one person to stand up, take charge, and achieve the goal. In an ad hoc or temporary group, others might not see someone as the leader, but that one person could still make sure the group operates as a team and accomplishes their goal.

How can someone who has not been anointed or appointed accomplish this? Here are some tips for those that find themselves in an unofficial leadership role.

Tread Lightly

The leader does not need to be the smartest – or the fastest, or best looking. It could be anyone, but since it’s you standing up to be the unofficial leader, realize that others in the group may not agree. Simply proclaiming that you are in charge will cause more harm than good. Subtly is your best friend in the beginning of the transition from mob to team. Often, a leader can be created in the other’s eyes by simply being the first one to say, “Ok, so what do we do first?”

Crawl Then Run

The first hurdle for an unofficial leader is to get the group talking. What are their ideas? What do they think is the best course to take? Of course if everyone agrees on one direction, then this stage is done, but that rarely happens. Most often there will be two different schools of thought. The leader should not take sides, but encourage discussion of opposing viewpoints and plans. Stay above the arguments to mediate and stimulate the flow of ideas. Soon, one course will become clear, or at least more feasible than the other. When this happens, you may be surprised to see everyone looking at you to give the final judgment on what to do. Already, you have become the lead person to go to in their subconscious minds.

Group Triage

An important step for a leader is to recognize all the various tasks that need to be done to accomplish the goal. Who is best at what? Who would be most effective where? Hopefully you will already know, but most of the time you will need to find out. So ask what they would be best at within the available tasks to accomplish? You’ll get honest answers, but sometimes the answer is not what they are best at, but what parts of the work they would rather do. If they are the only one to volunteer for a certain task, let them have it. If two or more chime in, then prompt them to discuss among themselves who would be better suited. If they figure it out, great, but usually they will look to you to make the final decision again. Pay attention to their arguments and pick the best one for the job.

Not an Island

Realize that you don’t have to come up with a plan or best course of action all by yourself. You just have to pick the direction and get your people there. Recognize the best plan, even if it isn’t your own. Pay attention to complaints, and problems, but make sure to spot your own flaws as well. For the benefit of the team, volunteer for the job you are best suited for, even if it is one you don’t want to do. Remember that it is not about you being a leader, but your team accomplishing their goal and you are but one part of that team.

Not Omnipotent

Since you have no official power, there is nothing to back you up. You can’t hire, fire, or discipline anyone, so why should they listen to you? Remember, you will earn your leader position by what you do, not who you are. Since being a leader is not about ordering people around, you will spend most of your time suggesting the best possible course, or coaxing the others in the right direction. Your best course is to get your people to do what they need to do without them realizing you’ve done anything.

Motivate

A group with clearly defined capabilities to match all the tasks at hand with an embraced purpose and definitive goal is ideal. That almost never happens in the real world unfortunately, but then if it did, the real world wouldn’t need leaders. Once your team is all facing the same way, you will probably find that some need to be moving faster than the others. An unofficial timeline, with specific deadlines is a nice subtle way to show where each person is at and where they should be. A quiet, private, chat with the problem group member might help as well, but make sure your persona is that of a fellow group member worried about the project and their own part in it, NOT as the unofficial leader. Group cheers and celebrations when one person or another accomplishes their part will help get the lagging member moving. Remember, “problems in private, praise in public.”

Following Your Lead

Nothing gets a bunch of people moving faster than someone heading off in the right direction. Ideally, the team moves forward together, but there’s almost always a winding up period. Set the example by attacking your part with enthusiasm, professionalism, and vigor. If they see you working hard, helping others, and generally doing everything you can to get the team to its goal, then they will follow suit. They will notice if you are cheerfully doing a job they know you don’t want to do. They will notice you listening to other team members, taking advice, and following directions. It will motivate them to do their part for the team and add to your role as unofficial leader.

The Good Follower

There is an ancient saying: “A good leader is a good follower.” This would be a simple paradox if not for the fact that most aspects of a leader involve following others. The leader will follow the best path for the team to take. The leader will follow the advice and direction of those in the team if they are better than the leader’s own. The leader must follow the leader’s own examples. If you look closely at the tips above, you’ll notice that each one requires the participation of the others in the team. A leader cannot lead without people to follow, but a leader can’t move forward without following the team.

Leading people is a privilege and an honor; both not to be abused. Being a leader makes you special, but you are not special because you are a leader. A leader is just a part of a team that together is working towards a goal. Accomplishing the goal… that’s the whole point to being a leader. It is not about you, your status, recognition, or the fancy title. It’s about making things happen. But, if you make things happen, then your status will rise, you will gain recognition, and, yes, get that fancy title. Always remember though, you can’t do it alone.

About the author: Amy Linley gives practical and usable advice regarding communication and meetings at AccuConference – http://www.accuconference.com. Find out more about our conference call, web conferencing and video conferencing services from AccuConference – http://www.accuconference.com/conferencecalls.

About the Author
Amy Linley gives practical and usable advice regarding communication and meetings at AccuConference – http://www.accuconference.com. Find out more about our conference call, web conferencing and video conferencing services from AccuConference – http://www.accuconference.com/conferencecalls

Happy Holidays from EDC

 

Happy Holidays!

EDC Creations, The Sankofa Literary Society and The Black Authors Network announced the launch of their 2008-2009 Give the Gift of Knowledge Campaign, bringing readers and authors together to help improve literacy. In 2004, during the Christmas holidays, Ella Curry, the founder of EDC Creations, reached out to women’s groups and literary organizations to help promote early literacy by giving new books to children from low income homes. Today, the “Give the Gift of Knowledge Campaign,” seeks to expand even further by giving the Gift of Knowledge daily!

Based on the “each one teach one model” our goal is to help people introduce reading and new books to their family and friends. Instead of giving expensive gifts that don’t shape lives—-let’s “Give the Gift of Knowledge” and help to strengthen our future generations!

Each year thousands of people — educators, concerned parents, community leaders, authors, poets and publishers — devote their time and resources to presenting the reader with great books! However, too many outstanding books do not get the attention and reader support that they deserve. It is our mission to connect readers with these hidden gems and bring them books that will change their lives.

Each week EDC Creations will sponsor bookclub chats, live readings from authors, podcast presentations, seminars, community relations discussions, and radio shows that deliver the best our writers have to offer. All we ask is that the readers of the world spread the word. Please share this email with 10 people in your network.

 
——————————————————————————–

EDC Creations has a new eMagazine  that we would like you to check out. This holiday season Give the Gift of Knowledge. Send a love one a book that could change their lives! Enter the special magazine by clicking here.

Give the Gift of Knowledge. Want to make a difference in someone else’s life this holiday season? Donate an a book to a child, senior or your co-workers for the holidays. EDC Creations has brought the best in today’s literature in our new magazine. Explore new book releases, audio book previews, poems, short stories and written interviews with bookclubs and community leaders by following our EDC Creations eMagazine Blog.  Click here to enter magazine

——————————————————————————–

EDC Creations 2009 Literary Weekends
It is our mission to help new authors gain exposure for their books. In the New Year, we will host weekly workshops and live readings in DC area hotels. Each session will be videotaped by Botts & Associates, there will be a theme for most genres and refreshments will be served. Please follow our blog closely to find out all the details. If you are an author or bookclub in the Maryland, Washington DC, Virginia, and East Coast area, reach out to us to be included in these weekly presentations. Please follow our blog closely to find out all the details.

——————————————————————————–

Holiday Book Promotions
For the month of November only, EDC Creations is offering full promotions on the main EDC Creations site and the new EDC eMagazine  for $75.00. That’s right, you can advertise on either site, on the page you select for $75.00.

However, there will only be 5 books showcased on the front pages, these are based on first come, first served basis. We are offering our eblast services for $75.00 as well. All EDC Creations advertisements are $75.00 for November. Email Ella to get started promoting your book today: elladcurry@edc-creations.com

——————————————————————————–
 
Every Author Needs a Website–A Control Center
MySpace is a good social network for promoting your books. It is not like having your own control center, a virtual office if you will, authors need websites. If you want to appear industry savvy and to be taken seriously in your efforts, you need a place to represent you and your books in style! EDC Creations will start offering free consulations on this subject.

In order to help new authors represent themselves in the best light, EDC Creations will now offer starter websites for $399.00, complete with the bells and whistles. Contact Ella today to start your new year off right! We will only create 5 sites per month. If you would like a new website before the new year arrives, email Ella today.

——————————————————————————–

The Black Authors Network Talk Show is looking for authors and poets to read Christmas, Kwanzaa and holiday material on the radio show. If you would like to write a short story or poem to be read on air, please email Ella Curry, the producer at: elladcurry@edc-creations.com.  Each night in December 2008, we will host a speaker reading their work live! This is a community celebration, you are all welcome to create something special and give it as a gift to the world. We would also like to host children reading their poems too!

Black Authors Network Talk Show
www.blogtalkradio.com/Black-Author-Network
Meet us at:  8pm-10pm EST  Mon., Wed., and Friday nights
Authors dial-in number:  (646) 200-0402

Chat live with the guests in our chat room during the show
www.blogtalkradio.com/Black-Author-Network

Warmest regards,

Ella Curry, President/CEO EDC Creations
Black Author Network Radio-Founder
Sankofa Literary Society-Founder
A Good Book-Marketing Director
Xpress Yourself Publishing-Publicist
WoMEN-NPower (DC Chapter) Member
EDC Creations is on  The Black Men in America blog!

Look at what God can do!

 

 

It is August 28, 2008, and I am in awe of what we can accomplish.  Today we have achieved what many considered impossible.  In no other country would this occur but in America.  Barack Obama has been nominated as the first African American presidential nominee.  I don’t know about you but I am inspired and motivated.  Look at what God can do.

We live in a country, where 50% of African American males drop out of high school and are 6 times more likely to be victims of homicide.  In a country where more than 28% of Black males are imprisoned even though they only make up 12% of the United States population.  Brothers and sisters we are a population crying out for help and until recently, no one seem to be listening.  I don’t know about you but that information is astounding. 

Are you aware that 70% of black babies are born to single mothers?   No, I am not just speaking of teenage mothers.  People we are a country in crisis.  African American families need their fathers and brothers.   Looking at the statistics, makes it seemed unattainable.  But after listening to Barack Obama’s acceptance speech, I believe he has given us new HOPE…..SOLUTIONS.  This is not television.  It’s real life.

After today, we should never feel limited by our environment or our circumstances.  We should never make excuses for what we have not done or feel sorry for ourselves.  As I listened to Barack speak, tears filled my eyes and the eyes of many attending the Democratic National Convention.  We did not shed tears of sadness but tears of joy and anticipation.  I am ready for this revolution.  As a child born in the middle of the Civil Rights Movement, I understand where we’ve been and the progress we’re making.  This is big….historical.  Some of us have been so overwhelmed and preoccupied with events that occurred during the last 8 years that we almost forgot that we had a voice.  It’s time to step up and speak up.

From this day forward, I pledge to do all that I can to heal our families and remember that it is not about me.  Parents take a moment and talk to your children about achieving their dreams, setting goals and the importance of education.  Encourage them to live each day to the fullest.  Let them know that as Americans they can BE anything that they choose to BE and no one has the right to tell them that they can’t. 

Furthermore, teach your children about the importance of community service, helping others and loving one another.  If everyone took the time to help just one person, we could create a better world…..a better world for our children and generations to come.  People Barack Obama is a great leader but he cannot achieve his dream, alone.   Are you ready to Pay it Forward?

 

Arlether Wilson, Author of “Rewriting the Script”

www.arletherwilson.com

arlether@rewritethescript.com

August 2008

 

 

 

 

 

CNN Black in America- Andrea Version

 

CNN’s Black in America

My Version of That Story

by Andrea Blackstone

 

    Last night, I met with some friends in a cozy spot, chatting about business and life. To the right of our booth, a flat screen commanded our attention. In my between laughs and brainstorming, the majority of patrons paused when the segment began. In fact, nearly everything ceased. Forks rested on plates, and robust chatter quieted. Most of the patrons of the quaint spot in DC, were people of color who stopped by to unwind after a long day at work. If someone is speaking about a group to which he or she belongs, most people instinctually take interest in wanting to know exactly what will be said about them. In this case, “them” was “us.” You know, black folk.  My eyes followed a few scenes that included a glimpse of a neighborhood, then a shot of black hands clenching steel prison bars. I can’t speak to the entire show, since I couldn’t manage to stomach the entire presentation, but when large images of the stereotypical black inner life city met my eyes, I sighed with sheer disappointment. I expected something else that could make me feel like someone with the power to bring issues to the public would tell more about us…this time. Initially, my heart was filled with hope, but my attention span soon waned in a familiar way. I also observed several other patrons resume conversations and continue eating. My neighborhood doesn’t look like that, nor the one where I grew up. I don’t know anyone in jail, although I’m not saying that I’ve never known anyone who hasn’t been incarcerated. With that said, I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t truly say that I couldn’t relate to those images. 

 

    I was sitting in the presence of a young woman who has been a business owner since 18, and a former DEA agent who is highly respected, not just in The District, but all around the world. Both are females–African-American females. I consider the stories that my father told me of wearing under clothes passed down from white troops, when he was a young man in the military. They were patched up to inspire a second life. He also explained that worn out shoes were repaired and given to black troops to use. These examples are only the beginning of the discourse that dovetails with equality. There were countless substandard conditions, before integration. Nevertheless, many African-Americans persevered, and proudly served and made great contributions to the United States. I also consider someone else who came to sit at our booth–a witty black surgeon who worked at Howard University Hospital. He wasn’t stuffy or arrogant. He greeted me like any other person would. When his friend revealed who he was, and what he’d done, he waved her off, as if his accomplishments were nothing special. Always “the smart kid,” it turned out that he broke some sort of age record, but I won’t spend all of my time name dropping here.

 

    In the midst of that conversation, the series continued to play. An avid people watcher, I felt dizzy with mixed images. One played on TV, while others continued to unfold in real time. The ironic thing was that CNN’s story of being black in America was nothing like the story that had been written in the place where I was seated. I soon noticed a small business owner slumped over, feeling tired. He sat down on a padded stool to take a break from standing on his feet all day. He obviously put in a hard day’s work, where people stop in to unwind and enjoy home cooked victuals. His wife continued serving customers as he wiped his face. I watched him drift off, until someone said goodbye. When he heard his name called, he perked up and answered, lively and warm. My imagination ran wild in that little dive. Everyone there had a story. The kind of story each patron owned probably won’t ever make it TV, yet they too are black people living in America. And for the record, affirmative action was not relevant to any story that I heard that evening. Each individual worked hard to qualify, and press forward, just like any other American. We have a history of overcoming obstacles, yet all too often, the ills of a certain segment of our population becomes the focus of what gets dissected and discussed at length. Here we go again, but do most of “us” expect anything other than the status quo? When one person makes a mistake or commits a crime, does society hold it against our entire race?

 

    I learned to have faith in more than what the media tells me, during my formative years. I read so much news online, and listen to so much talk radio, I often forget to power on the bube tube. My father raised me to value news and business programming like CNN. He always told me that watching certain programming, and listening to certain types of discourse, provides insight regarding how to prepare for tomorrow. As a result, I quickly grew eager to find out what was going on all around the world. By age nine, I was addicted to The Diane Rehm Show on 88.5. I soon learned that Rush Linmbal’s views could make me heated in a hurry. Nevertheless, my father, who was a single parent, taught me a lesson in something far bigger. The media is a powerful force. Within the structure of it, viewers or listeners will enjoy the manner in which a given topic was explored, while others will leave segments feeling the sting of the power to inform. Opinions are just that, yet interpretations of social ills, and how various people rise and fall, are a part of the grand presentation. How we deal with life, and how we interact with others in this world, gets jammed into segments, which will also undergo editing. Every angle can’t be covered. In fairness, that’s just an impossible task. Although most of us are well aware of the aforementioned, the final product is at the heart of the matter. Thus, my version of CNN’s Black in America Series connects with the issue of responsible journalism. Do journalists have a moral obligation to explore both sides of any issue? That premise can’t be enforced, but lately, I’ve been questioning what I feel ”good” journalism entails. I’ve grown weary of recycled issues with stale presentations. Some conclude that the lack of diversity in presenting stories is an intentional endeavor, while others chalk it up to the way media works, because it’s just too hard to change their game. You choose; I’m just here to give you yet one more version of my feelings of being black in America. I too can’t cover it all in one opinion piece. What I can do is offer food for thought, based on my experiences living as a black citizen in America.   

    After my time with my friends came to a close, with a sheet of plastic over my head, I ran toward my door, my mind twisted with introspection. I wondered how I’m going to get to the next level in my life, and what the world could assume about me, just because I’m black. All I can do is put in time and effort, hoping that a substantial door will open some day. To date, much of my life has been spent in school, or trying to find one solid job where I can put my skills to use. With that said, something is better than nothing. Life is not a perfect experience, whether you’re black, white, or other. I thought of the story I’ll soon be penning about my father’s relatives. It doesn’t involve gossip, sex, scandal or drugs. It’s just a human interest story that speaks to humanity–to people of all colors– as well as the reality of an ultimate sacrifice. I also consider role models like every black man who goes to work wearing a suit and tie, or blue jeans and a crisp T-shirt. All of them are gainfully employed. Professional or blue collar, they are not sitting in jail, or taking advantage of sisters or the system. Would someone please remind us of the number of black men who do hold degrees, own a business, or did fight for custody of their children? If the goal is to educate others about black people, these stories exist too, so why do producers often neglect to include more of their stories? 

 

    In the coolness of the night, I sprawled out on top of my comforter, realizing that my mother’s birthday is quickly approaching. What am I going do to this year? Somehow I’ll find a way to celebrate. This will be my fourth trip of remembering my best friend for life, the best way I can. I have no husband or kids to soften the blow, but that’s okay. Wait a minute–I don’t fit the mold either. No kids, no baby daddies? I spent so much time in school, taking note of broken marriages, and kids going through hell, I’ve walked on eggshells, trying to dodge pointless drama. I could’ve teetered on the edge of living a good or settled life, but I opted to keep striving for myself, on my own. The road has been difficult, but it is what it is. And as far as mom, I now choose to focus on the good times, not the manner in which I lost her. When life got rough, mom lifted me. “Don’t worry about it. Keep trying.” That was her mantra. I had a strong bond with my mother, and I always will. Now a motherless black woman, I didn’t lose my mother to drugs or violence. I lost her to cancer. My brother, a black man who holds an advanced degree in divinity, stood by her side, until the very end. Would a story like ours make it to a segment or a show? I doubt it. It probably wouldn’t make ratings soar, not even the part about my brother being attacked for recording our mother’s last few days of her life. Pardon me, I do know someone who has been to jail. My brother was arrested for doing that. A jury of his peers were all white men from our hometown. Nearly four years later, my brother called to inform me that he lost his lawsuit, thanks to police immunity, and more details that illustrate the other side of  black life in America. His story was brushed under the rug.  I was left feeling that any time we look at Mom saying hello to her friends and family on tape, the memory of that experience will resurface. My brother never even had a speeding ticket, but he soon found out what it felt like to be locked up, or go through the trauma of getting his record expunged. A few days after that experience, our mother died. Despite this occurrence, my brother hasn’t changed or become a bitter man. He finds strength through his faith in God, just as many African-Americans do in America. Many black people don’t hate white people, nor do a great portion of us judge people we don’t even know. Our mother was our best example. She still reminds me how much love can carry you through anything. That’s not a black thing; it’s a people thing. I suppose that’s why people of all colors and races loved her so much. In turn, we too embrace those who embrace us. 

     

    I recall a time when my first book was nestled inside of her tote bag. I sat next to her in a treatment room for cancer patients. Some accused me of being a gold digger, not realizing fiction was just that. I have no interest in taking advantage of a man who cracked the code. I want mine by earning it. The reason why I attempted to try my hand at writing urban fiction was rather simple. I couldn’t land a job in my field. As a reward to myself, I took matters into my own hands. Whatever people were reading most, I decided that I was going to try to write it. As an English major who attended a historically black college, I wondered if attending another school would’ve given me more clout in corporate America. I tried the other side, since things seemed to be more about strategy than if you’re trainable. I earned my M.A. in a year and a half, in a rare program, where few blacks rarely enrolled. After I finished graduate school, I recall sitting in interviews, qualified, yet chided for what I’d done. “What made you pick that program?” I’ve been told by recruiters to remove some of my credentials, just to land a so-so job. I worked hard for them, so why should I? My counterparts are praised for finishing the very same program. I crack open newspapers and magazines, and I never get an inkling that the majority thought it was a bad thing. I hear catty remarks all of the time, and get the brush off from both sides of the fence.

 

    Most recently, one person told me that she was looking to hire someone right away, yet her behavior indicated that I wasn’t even in the running to be considered. “Do you have an A.A. degree?” she asked. “Yes I do. I have a Master’s and two years of law school,” I explained. “Well, I’ll take your resume, but I’m still looking.” She floated over toward the coffee area, nearly rubbing in her ability to help me pay off my student loans, or keep me in misery. “Oh this coffee is perfect,” she crooned with a smile. Her co-worker stood next to her, sipping mocha, as they both indulged in office gossip. By the way, this woman was not white. (Figure it out.) Not to sound like a pessimist, but sitting in the lobby nearly an hour, then experiencing that little dig already told me I shouldn’t wait by the phone for her call. Been there, experienced that. How many years have I been through his? In a who-you-know-town, a degree can justify people being in the loop, while other qualified applicants would never be welcomed there. Deep down, I thought of throwing my hat in the ring to try to earn a PhD. If I did, it wouldn’t be for the right reasons. It would only be to gain a little more respect in this world, as well as this town. I want to be the head cheese, primarily because of cheesy people, and the possibility of better job security. Is another student loan bill worth it? Maybe so, maybe not. I’ve done all of the things I was supposed to do to live a normal life, yet recruiters yawn when I remind them of my degrees or student loan obligations. What they often are willing to pay is no less than insulting.

 

Even so, (repeat after me), something is better than nothing. I’ve held jobs that didn’t require a college degree, and taken trips to South East, shaking as I left work at night, as police escorted staff. I’ve also felt the sting of working for years with no benefits. Still, I reminded myself that many people out there had it far worse than I did, and still do. I often let the sun warm my face, crank my easy listening music, then slide up the highway. I had chains on me, and yes, they’re still there. I can’t find the groove I was groomed to like, so I fake it and hustle hard where my heart is happy. The writing profession is undervalued, and in my opinion, it’s much too hard to make a living solely by writing, at least for the average author. I contemplate returning to law school with mixed emotions. All of those things cross my mind, many days. It all comes back to someone who did embrace me with unwavering faith.

 

    I recall sitting next to my mom, trying to ease her worried mind, as she sat in a special recliner. Her veins were filling with bone strengthener, and all I could think was “I’ve got to sell these books for her.” Realizing success is of our own making, completing one little task for “us” would make me feel like I’d done something kind of cool before I die. But along the way, I promised I’d clean up the content and talk about things like this, in a book. 

 

I want to weave tales of my grandparents, two modestly paid professors in the South, at a time when mostly anyone didn’t have a degree. Mom’s wisdom planted that seed, and it has sprouted over the past few years. I’m fighting to officially pen those stories, as well as others that can reach young adults. I’m working hard to earn the right to take that ride, even if landing a book deal of that nature will prove to be extremely difficult. CNN’s special reminded me that more stories of the other side of black life should not only be told, but also supported. Our people have suffered various realities that some feel we should forget. How can we forget something if equity is lagging in 2008? That’s my biggest question about being black in America. 
    

    My first taste of that reality was getting the shaft in law school, simply because I picked the wrong school for the color of my skin. Although I grew up in the suburbs, Cinderella I am not. Now that mom’s gone, I have to face something else too. Where is the rest of her family? Some are lightly kissed by the sun, while others have faded into the trenches of white America. Even more complex, some are white, and our relation is very close. And where is the tiny little town in Virginia where my other grandmother grew up? Her mother raised a crew of children alone, so I understand. Native American ties, this time. 

What does it feel like to be black in America, knowing that blood of other races flow through your veins? Some of us still won’t mention it, even if that reality hits close to home, and some people regard mixture as a point of interest or disdain, so you’re not supposed to mention it, unless people pry. Most of the time, if people shoot a “high yella” joke your way, you’re supposed to laugh it off. At the other end of my gene pool, I consider my other grandmother who died when I was an infant. She was a maid, faithful church member, and part-time cook in her daughter’s popular soul food restaurant. My dad, the cashier in that establishment, from the age of 11, became a graduate from one of the most prestigious institutions around. He completed homework in the backroom, on top of a crate in between breaks or before his shift. Many of his siblings made it too. He also pulled groceries in wagons, and shined shoes to pay for his school clothes, during The Depression. Many other kids from the old neighborhood, who shined shoes, in brick-filled streets of a sleepy town, are now at the top of the heap. Once again, these people are black in America, too. Will someone ever interview more black people like them?    Lastly, my mind shifts toward two young people. One is nine, and was attacked in the inner city, by fellow students. It was a simple case of bullying the kid who was behaving as a normal student–no frills or wild antics in tow. The school did nothing but brush the event under the rug. Hearing that my niece had to endure many stitches, just for being the soul she is, auntie now has to plan a day to be with her, in hopes of doing a little damage control. I don’t want her to hate school because of what was done to her. The other is barely 21, battling a heart condition. I root for this young black man who is fighting to make his life better. Last year, he struggled through summer school. “Did you ask your professor for help?” I asked. I was informed that his mathematics professor wasn’t too helpful. He repeated the course, and began moving ahead after transferring to another community college with a mixed population. Now his health is failing, due to the stress of simply trying to make his start better than his beginning. Every day he took the bus in the city to get to college in the county, he navigated past gangs where wearing the wrong color shirt could get him killed. He too has been picked on for trying to make something out of himself. Should we not consider why things have spiraled out of control, and how such instances can impact our youth?  Some of them want to be saved. Will the world see their plight?    In closing, black life is not perfect, nor are people. Every race has its share of issues to overcome, and all of us are capable of making mistakes. Nevertheless, we should be judged as individuals, not as a group. Considering all that we have endured, I still feel that there’s more good to celebrate than bad to emphasize. I encounter so many people of color, struggling to make life better for their families and themselves. Some have been on the bottom of the totem pole, and vowed to sit at the top some day. Others are in mid-stroke, simply trying to stay afloat like most of us. Another segment may fall into the categories of those scenes I initially spoke of, during the beginning of this piece. Nevertheless, African-American people are diverse. All too often, we’ve been placed in one box. For those of us who are tired of sitting there, it’s time to take ourselves out of it, and expose our eclectic experiences, in this thing called black life. We’ve been there for too long, and I’m not sure if the average mainstream media outlets will ever give us a chance to set the record straight. To me, the most logical thing that some of us can do is hold hope near, making adequate efforts to distance ourselves from whatever statistics say. Personally, my inspiration comes from something simple and free. It comes from all of the positive black people who I observe doing great things in America! 

 

 

 

Andrea Blackstone majored in English and minored in Spanish at Morgan State University. After a two-year stint in law school, she later changed her career path. While recovering from an illness, she earned an M.A. from St. John’s College in Annapolis, Maryland ahead of schedule and with honors. Andrea self-published her first two urban novels, and recently completed her first book deal with Q-Boro Books. Her nonfiction debut can be found in Chicken Soup for the African-American Woman’s Soul. A lover of all genres and outrageous characters, Andrea aspires to write a wide array of stories. Her future work will range from inspirational nonfiction to unconventional plots written under one of many pseudonyms. You may contact her at dreamweaverpress@aol.com.

 

————————————————————

 

Andrea Blackstone was born in Long Island, New York, and moved to Annapolis, Maryland at the age of two. She majored in English and minored in Spanish at Morgan State University. While attending Morgan, she received many recommendations to consider a career in writing and was the recipient of The Zora Neale Hurston Scholarship Award. After a two-year stint in law school, she later changed her career path. While recovering from an illness, she earned an M.A. from St. John’s College in Annapolis, Maryland ahead of schedule and with honors. Afterward, Andrea became frustrated with her inability to find an entry-level job in journalism and considered returning to law school. Jotting down notes on restaurant napkins and scraps of paper became a habit that she couldn’t shake. In 2003, she grew tired of waiting for her first professional break and decided to create Dream Weaver Press. A short time later she self-published  Schemin’: Confessions of a Gold Digger, and the sequel, Short Changed.  Andrea is also a finalist in  Chicken Soup for the African-American Woman’s Soul , and some of her original work will also be included in an upcoming urban fiction anthology. A lover of all genres and outrageous characters, Andrea aspires to write a wide array of stories. Her work will range from inspirational nonfiction to unconventional plots written under one of many pseudonyms. Andrea recently signed her first book deal with Q-Boro Books and looks forward to having a new work released under a publishing house.

EDC Creations,EDC Creations Virtual Tours,Black Authors Network,Sankofa Literary Society,Ella Curry,African American Literature

Kendall Publication Company Promo

Technoratic

Technorati Profile

2008 Romance Slam Jam Winners

2008 Romance Slam Jam Winners

 

The Romance Slam Jam was a blast! Some of the most influential writers in the African American literary industry were present for the 2008 Romance Slam Jam Conference which took place this weekend in Chicago, IL.

 

The winners of 2008 Romance Slam Jam book categories:

 

Beverly Jenkins-Author of the Year
Favorite anthology
Favorite hero
Favorite heroine
Favorite novel
Favorite novella
Favorite suspense
Cover of the Year-Deadly Sexy

 

LaConnie Taylor-Jones: Best Debut Author

Francis Ray: Favorite Sequel

Deatri King-Bey: Favorite Steamy Novel
Listen to the Black Authors Network tribute to the Romance Slam Jam authors and the quality literature that each author presents.
Click Here>>

 

Eubie Blake (1883-1983)

Click to Listen to the Black 365 recording, of Eubie Blake presented by Rosalynn S. West,  Black History historian

Charlie Parker (1920-1955)

Click to Listen to the Black History 365 recording: Charlie Parker  presented by Rosalynn S. West,  Black History historian

This is About YOU! by Iyanla Vanzant

A Speech by Iyanla Vanzant

This is About YOU!

The following is a transcript of the keynote speech delivered by Iyanla Vanzant at the 3rd Annual Women & Power Conference, organized by Omega Institute and V-Day in September 2004.

And this is about you. (Flute playing)

This is about you. (Violin playing)

Oh, yes. This is about you. (Melodic singing)

Oh, this is about you. This is about the spirit, the spirit—that can’t, it can’t die …This is about the spirit of you. When you’re walking, when you’re talking, when you’re loving, when you’re just being who you are, because you can’t help yourself. You’re just so powerful, so beautiful, so magnificent.

This is about you.

It’s about you.

It’s about your power.

It’s about your mystery.

It’s about your glory, your divinity.

It’s about that mysterious thing they call woman.

Oh, they keep trying to figure us out. Bless their pointy-heads.

This is about who you’ve been.

This is about who you’re not.

This is about who you want to be.

This is about who you are right now.

Oh, this is about you.

So very often, all too often, woman is willing to give her power away to make sure that somebody else gets what she herself wants. Oh, until today, because, this is about you.

It’s about you working.

It’s about you loving.

It’s about you growing.

It’s about you crying.

It’s about you healing.

It’s about you touching.

It’s about you speaking.

It’s about you thinking.

It’s about you loving.

Oh, it’s about you, woman.

Oh, will the women in the house, just raise their hand?

This is about you.

It’s about where we’re going.

It’s about where we’ve been.

It’s about what we need.

And it’s about the s— we ain’t goin’ to take no more.

When was the last time your life was about you?

Let today be the day…

Let me just say you look good. I don’t want to be a speaker and talk to a bunch of ugly people. If you look good, just raise your hands. If you feel good, raise both hands. Oh, yes. And if you express some good this weekend, just shake your butt. Believe me, what a beautiful sight you are. What a beautiful sight you are.

Thank you, Elizabeth.

And Eve, do you love them?

So let’s see who we have in the house tonight.

New York, you’re in the house? Ok.

Pennsylvania, are you in the house?

I came from California, so is California in the house?

Alrighty.

Texas?

How did I know that?

Connecticut?

Delaware?

Oh, somebody …Don’t you know somebody from Delaware?

Who else we got in the house?

Indiana is in the house?

Yeah.

Florida.

Who else have we got?

Have we got any foreigners?

Missouri? Yes. Missouri is in the house.

Indiana?

I got two ears. You all got 29,000 lips.

Wait a minute. Who did you say?

Washington D.C., oh my God, Washington D.C. I lived there, right next door.

Maryland, is Maryland in the house?

You’re not real excited about that.

Who else?

Good. Whoever you are…Whatever you said. Go give them some of that love. It’s an honor—Virginia. I’m sorry. That’s where my mother is from.

Minnesota.

Is Chicago in the house?

Good.

Massachusetts.

New Jersey.

What’s going on in Jersey—I guess nothing because half of the women are here.

Ok, who else have we got?

Idaho? Idaho?

Who in the world—stand up. I want to see what you look like…Oh, my God. Idaho. Two people. Alrighty, then. I’d a been a ho, but they made it illegal

Hawaii?

I just made that up.

Iceland? Oh, my God. Stand up. Let us look at you. Iceland. That’s phenomenal.

Where?

Canada?

Yes. This is delicious. Oh, give me a fork.

Yes, darling?

Scotland? Oh, my gosh. Scotland. Stand up. Let us look at you. Is London, is in the UK here?

Africa?

Yes, yes.

Jamaica? I don’t mean Long Island. I mean Jamaica.

No. Not here?

Anybody else?

Virgin Islands. Virgin Islands? Yes. The only place you can still find virgins in the islands.

Puerto Rico…

Where?

Now, you know I cannot hear you. What are you doing?

Nigeria? Yes. Nigeria. Wait a minute. Excuse me. Isn’t Nigeria part of Africa? I said Africa and nobody said nothing…

All right.

Bulgaria…

Is that amazing?

Seattle?

Germany.

Seattle and Germany on this side.

This is a nice mix over here. Kind of international flavor. I can see it in your auras.

Kentucky?

Wherever we come from—all right…

See what happened! A control freak right there.

Yes. Where ever we come from—

Australia.

Okay. They just wanted to—let’s just go on and do attendance.

All right. Anybody else?

Argentina?

Bulgaria?

Mississippi.

India.

Now, wait a minute. I’m getting a psychic premonition. Do y’all live there or is your third generation ancestors from there? You actually live there? Born there? So you came for the conference? No? How long have you been in the United States? How long? One month? Really? You know what? I’m not talking to you people anymore. If you’re a woman ready to stand in your power, just stand up.

Now, that needs an applause.

So we’re gonna get started now, yeah?

Do this for me if you will. I want you to look to the right, just look to the right, look to the left. Look at somebody. Don’t just be turning your head there. Everybody look to the right. Look at somebody. Because everybody doesn’t know everybody else, do they? No. That’s good.

Now, I want to bring something to your awareness. You are right now, in this very moment, standing in the presence of angels. Because you never know when an angel is going to come right beside you. And if you think back through your life in your, and your, deepest darkest moments, it was another woman; it was an angel, a woman that was there for you. So I just want you to reach out and take an angel by the hand. Come on. Reach outtake an angel by the hand; just hold on to an angel. Touch an angel. Well, you could touch him. He’s all right. He’s just an angel in drag. Go on. Hold his hand. Angel in drag, that’s right. Just hold his hand. That’s okay. And what I want you to do is just take a nice deep breath with me if you will and let it out with a nice breathe. And take another nice deep breath.

And let it out with a nice breath. And disconnect your brain for just a moment. And I want you to feel the life that’s in your hands. And know that God, goddess, all that is so, trusted you that she put a life in your hands.

Feel it.

Know that right now you have a life in your hands and your life is in the hand of an angel. Feel it.

Feel the warmth of it.

Feel the heat of it.

Feel the pulse of it.

Now turn to the left or to the right, I want you to just turn silently—silently—and take hands with another woman.

Just turn. Its called get a partner.

Surely, you know how to do that. No ____________ out there; cut that freaky stuff out!

In silence—in silence—because one of a woman’s greatest powers is her silence. It’s then when she can be creative. It’s then when the life force begins to move through her body.

I want you to look at her sister in the face—make eye contact with her, whoever she is, and know that this is not your keeper.

This is not just your angel.

This is you.

Look at you.

Look at your beauty. Look at your glory. Look at your divinity. And silently, right where you are, what I want you to do, one at a time, I want you to lean over and tell your sister what it is that you are praying for in your life. Praying for, working for, wishing for.

Just lean over and tell her.

Lean over and tell her. Tell her what you’re praying for.

Don’t have a whole conversation now.

Just let her know what you’re praying for. Yes.

Let another sister know what it is you need.

Now, together, let us take a nice deep breath and let it out with a nice Ahhh.

You know, you always say Ahhh because that is the announcement of the name of God on our planet. Ahhh. Take another nice deep breath and let it out with a nice mmmm. Mmmm. We say mmmm, because when things get so good we just acknowledge it by saying mmmm.

And it’s so good to have another women hold your prayers sacredly. So together, in whatever way you are comfortable with, I want you to pray for your sister, not yourself. Send up an affirmation, a silent prayer, for what your sister needs and wants, because she just told you. Pray for your sister, not for yourself. Because when you pray for someone else, you receive tenfold.

Pray for your sister.

Pray that their dreams come true. That her life grows, that her heart is healed, that he life is mended, pray for your sister right now. They say that the easiest way to get what you want is to be willing to see someone else get it first. So pray for a sister that’s not here. A sister you know who is in need. A sister who may need a healing, who may need growth.

May need something in her life—she may be your sister or a sister’s friend. Pray for another sister right now.

Be willing to see her get what she needs, before you get what you need.

Just take a breath and pray.

Pray for your mother whether she’s in the flesh or not. Pray for your mother, giving thanks that she lent her body to the creator to bring you forth. Pray for your mother.

Just give thanks for her.

For the sacredness of her womb. For the sake of her life.

For without her, you would not be here today.

Pray for your mother.

Now pray for healing for women.

Women who suffer violence.

Women who are lost.

Women who are confused. Women who have been silenced. Women who through the day-to-day mediocrity that has been cast upon them no longer use their mind as a creative tool.

Pray for women on the planet.

Pray for them.

Affirm for them.

Know for them.

Let us send up a cry to the God, goddess, all there is, that a special dispensation of light and love, and healing and wisdom and discernment fall free, fresh, upon women all over the planet. Pray for women today.

And yourself.

And yourself.

And yourself.

That you be stronger and wiser.

That every thought you think, that every word you speak, that every action you undertake, will be manifested as good, good and more good, healing in your life, the lives of your loved ones and the lives of women.

And if you don’t know what to pray, simply say Help me. And once you say help me, just say Thank you.

A nice deep breath.

Let it out with a nice Ahhh.

And let’s have another breath.

And let it out with a nice mmmm.

Now, just look your sister in the face, look another sister in the face, and to her say I wish you love.

I wish you peace.

I wish you joy.

I wish that your angel carries you to the heights. And just because I can and because you’re my sister, I’m going to hug you right now.

Hug your sister.

Because if we don’t get hugged, we get ugly.

And just because we can, let’s have a seat. There’s one for everybody. And just because it feels good, let’s give ourselves a hand.

Doesn’t that, didn’t that feel good?

We, you cannot believe a place like this, with people like this—let me put these here so you can see them because you know it’s all about the shoes.

But I also know that it’s a sacred time and it’s always good when it’s a sacred time to just stand flat footed on the earth and to call forth the authentic-ness of my being, what an honor and blessing to inhabit the flesh form as a female on this planet at this time.

I’m so excited. I’m excited about myself, so you know I’ve got to be excited about you. And, it’s about you.

This is about you. This is about you. So very often we come to conferences and workshops—not you. I know you don’t do this.

It’s those people you work with. We come to conferences and we get information and we sit. Yes. That’s so interesting. That’s so nice. And we don’t take it home and apply it until today.

Because this is about you.

It’s time that we have a fierce conversation among ourselves, with each other, and with ourselves about where we see ourselves moving to as women.

This is about you.

It’s about your mind.

It’s about your heart.

It’s about your spirit.

It’s about your life.

It’s about your voice.

It is about your voice.

This is about you.

Please understand this is about me.

This is about me. I’m just talking to you because you showed up.

But this is about me.

It’s about you and it’s about me.

It’s about women.

This is about women.

But what is this—what is this Iyanla? You keep talking about the this. What is the this?

The this is that it’s time for us to stand up in ourselves, for ourselves, and about ourselves.

But we know that.

I’m not saying that as a political ploy, as a political motivation for us.

I’m talking about really standing up and start cleaning the crap up in our lives because we can’t clear up the world, ladies, until we start clearing it up in our lives. Okay?

This is about you.

This is about you.

It’s about the—let me be nice. Don’t put yourself ugly with me. Okay? If you hear me say something that you know applies to you, just raise your hand.

Don’t look left or right, though.

Because angels don’t have issues. This is about you.

Just raise your hand.

Raise it up high. Mmmm-hmmm!

Because, acknowledgement is the first step towards healing.

We can’t heal the planet when we can’t master a sink full of dirty dishes ladies.

This is about you.

It’s about me, but it’s also about you.

This is about you.

We want to talk today; I want to talk to you about four particular areas of your life. And each part of those lives are represented by a musician.

I want to talk to us about our voice today. Our voice as women, where is it?

Where is our voice and whose voice is it and who are we speaking?

I want to talk to us about our minds, our minds.

The mind of a woman is a powerful thing.

I want to talk to us today about our hearts.

Our hearts. The drum is our heart.

I want to talk to us today about our spirit.

The flute is our spirit.

This is about you, your spirit, your heart, your mind, your voice. We need a voice.

So many women, particularly women of color, women of all colors—we lost our voice. We gave it up.

We gave up our voice. Someplace along the way we gave up our voice because it was nice. I tell you I am so sick of being nice. I just want to—

Just checking.

Don’t leave me hanging out there by myself now. And don’t you look left or right now. Angels don’t have issues.

Just being nice—don’t you just sometime want to cuss somebody out?

But that’s not nice.

So many of us are hypnotized by the nice girl syndrome.

We’ve given our voice to the nice girl—that’s not nice.

Don’t say that. That’s not nice. Don’t say that.

And then we get confused between nice and spiritual.

Spiritual people, you know, they try to be very…Oh, that’s not loving. Oh, I’m going to forgive you.

It’s an out growth of the nice girl syndrome.

Remember, Jesus kicked the table over. You understand?

We got to remember that.

Just because we’re spiritual, just because we’re on a spiritual path and just because we’re women—not just because, I wanna say, because we are on a spiritual path, because we are on a healing path, and because we are women doesn’t mean that we have to give up our voice.

It is time for us to speak from the deep part of the great grandmother belly that is within us. Mama don’t take no mess.

We’ve got to remember that. We have to remember that.

We have to stop allowing people to be in our lives in inappropriate ways.

When we don’t have clear boundaries, when we don’t speak our

boundaries—do ya’ll have pencils and paper?

This is being taped right?

Buy the tape. Buy two. One for you and one for the people you work with.

Because you know they need it.

You know them people they need help. They should have been here, but they had too many issues. Couldn’t even get here!

They issues kept them from coming in.

So please buy them a tape.

Your voices are your boundary to know when to say no.

Write this down.

You must have a strong NO because if you don’t have a strong NO you will have a weak yes. I want to demonstrate it to you.

This is not a strong NO: Um, no.

People are going to walk over you when your No looks like that.

Or, um, um, no. I don’t think so!

Think of it as a hazard to your health. Just say no.

Because when we don’t use our voice to announce our no.

No to dishonor, no to disrespect.

No to de-evaluation. No to being diminished.

No to being ignored.

No to being denied.

When we don’t have a strong no, we cannot have—when we don’t have a strong no, we will have a weak yes and the things that we need and say and the things we want to do for ourselves we won’t do because we’re not committed to them.

Use your voice to create your boundaries. Draw your line in the sand and if someone crosses it, don’t back up and draw another line. Stand your ground.

Stand your ground.

This is about you. What are the boundaries in your life and are they being violated and by whom and why? How are you allowing it?

How are you participating in it? Because as women we must draw the boundaries in order to maintain our power.

When you don’t have power—when you don’t have boundaries, you lose power. Do you know there are energy vampires that will suck your life out of you?

How many of you know some? Mmmm, hmmm. And it is your voice, your No! So have your very clear boundaries. Let people know what is or is not appropriate in your life, in your life.

How many people got drama going on in your life?

Don’t lie now. Raise your hand.

Why?

Why is the drama in your life?

There’s lots of theaters.

If there’s drama, it’s because we allow it.

Many of us—will all the drama queens stand up.

Don’t be a shamed. Don’t be a shamed.

Stay standing. Stay standing.

Don’t look to the left or the right.

That’s why people won’t stand. These are angels declaring their divinity right here and now.

I saw that. Get up drama queen. Stay standing in your truth.

Drama queens, take a breath.

I’m going to over correct here. That means I’m going to say harshly if I upset you, I’ll clean it up later. That’s a good practice.

Over correct.

You’re not living your purpose. You’re not doing what you know you need to be doing. And when we don’t know what we know we need to do, we create drama to keep ourselves from being bored. You’re simply bored, drama queens.

The drama keeps you occupied.

Get on purpose.

Get on purpose.

Be willing to fail!

How many drama queens are willing to fail? Fall down on your face. Break your fingernails. Muss your hair. Scratch your knee.

Awe, I see some of the drama queen’s not raising their hands because they want to be cute drama queens. Drama queens, get on purpose. Get on purpose.

Do what you want—there’s something in here; right?

Are you doing it?

Almost?

Are you almost pregnant?

Get on purpose, drama queens.

Stop creating drama because you’re bored.

Be willing to upset people.

Be willing to piss somebody off.

Hello?

Now, you could do it nicely.

There’s a nice way to piss people off.

Would you like to learn this?

All right. See, most drama queens piss people off like this…

Yeah?

So drama queens, practice this with me. Take your most perfect and dramatic stand.

Come on. Get your stand. Come on.

Practice this…

Not…

Let me hear all the drama queens together. Let me hear you…give them some love…

Because—-we don’t want to use our voice to offend. We don’t want to use our voice to upset. We want to use our voice to protect ourselves, to honor ourselves, to respect ourselves as women.

Use your voice.

So many of us have lost our voice. We gave our voice up to the dominion of someone else, whether that was a parent or an outside force.

We gave up our voice. And now we have to practice…

Saying what you need to say. I know Eve said that to you.

Say what you need to say.

Find the voice and say it.

Say it loud if you have to. Say it softly.

Repeat yourself a specific number of times.

Don’t just keep repeating yourself add infinitum. Let people know I’m gonna say this again, and if blah-blah doesn’t happen, this is what will be the result.

See, one of the reasons people behave inappropriate in our lives is because there’s no consequences for bad behavior. Hello! If you don’t give people consequences for bad behavior, they will continue to run a muck in your life. It is only your voice that will stop it. Draw your line in the stand. Use your voice to hold it. This is about you. This is about your voice—so many of us have a beautiful song. Your life is a song. Did you know that?

And the way you sing—some of us sing off key.

That’s all right.

Some of us sing loud. That’s okay.

Some of us, some of us, well—I want to say can’t sing, but that’s not true.

All of us can sing. Some of us just don’t sound good.

That’s all right.

Your life is your song. Sing it as loud as you want.

And when people complain about how loud you are living your song in your life, tell them to buy earplugs.

Ladies, women, don’t be afraid to out sing someone else. So many of us won’t stand in the fullness of our voice because we don’t want to out sing someone else. We don’t want people to be upset with how great our song may be. The song of your life. You know our beloved sister Marianne Williamson say some of us stay small to make other people comfortable. Some of us hum so other people won’t get upset by our song. If you have a song, sing it. If you have a speech, speak it. If you have a complaint, voice it. If you’ve got a need, ask for it. This is about you.

Learning to ask for what you want.

Ask for what you want, ladies.

Slower. Slower. A little to the left, please.

Because, if you don’t ask for what you want, you can’t complain when you don’t get it.

Don’t just sit there, stand there, lay there in silent agony.

This is your song.

Make your request.

This is about you, and the healing power of your voice. Sometimes, ladies, you just have to talk to yourself. Do you have good—if you have good conversations with yourself—

I have absolute dialogues.

Sometimes debates.

And I’ve developed multiple voices.

What do you mean?

What do you think I mean?

Who you talking to?

I’m talking to you.

Develop multiple voices so it doesn’t become monotone, because you’ll get bored with that and then you won’t listen.

But most of all when you’re speaking to yourself, ladies, speak the truth.

Don’t lie to yourself.

Sometimes you just may have to omit a little information when you’re speaking to other people. I’m not—I mean I’m not advocating that. But when you’re speaking to you, speak the truth.

Stop saying you’re going to get in that size five.

You’re not. Throw it away!

Stand fully in your 12,14, 16,18.

Let me tell you this.

As long as there’s a size bigger than the one I’m wearing, I’m okay. You understand? They’ve got plenty of sizes above 12. I’m not going to keep telling myself I’m a ten, or an eight. I just tell you I’m a six.

Speak the truth to yourself about what you feel, about what you need, about what you see, about what you want. So many of us don’t tell ourselves the truth. We don’t speak the truth into our spirits. And then we can’t understand why there’s so many dishonorable things going on in our lives. This is about you and your voice and your truth. Tell your stories, ladies.

Tell your stories.

Please tell your stories.

But don’t tell it just to hear yourself do your dramatic interpretation of how horrible your life was. Tell your story because in there are the nuggets of healing.

Somebody was hurt before you.

Somebody was left before you.

Somebody was broken before you.

Someone was raped, abused, rejected before you.

And it is in the telling of their story that you find inspiration. And it is in the telling of your story that someone else will find inspiration.

This is about you and your story.

Because in your story, somebody can be healed.

Now, everybody’s got a story.

Don’t make up stories.

Tell a real story.

Because some people—not you—but those people you work with, they have a tendency to add characters and situations that didn’t really occur to make the story even more dramatic.

Don’t be ashamed. Don’t look left or right now.

Tell the truth of your story.

The core of your story.

Because in telling your story, you’re going to learn how much you’ve grown.

Oh, we grow.

We grow through adversity and difficulty. We grow through the celebration of our victories. And sometimes because we don’t tell our story, we miss the victory.

I was one of those people. Let me tell my own truth now. I want from thing to thing to thing without stopping—without stopping to celebrate the victory. I didn’t use my own voice to celebrate myself. When I looked up—when I looked up, I had written seven books in five years, lost a dress size, and was wearing an under wire bra with a cup size bigger and I had never taken a rest.

There was a lot going on.

Pause to celebrate the victories. Tell your story so that you can find that this is about you.

And it’s about the beauty of your voice.

It’s about the beauty of your life. It’s about the power of your voice and the power of your life.

This is about you.

And it’s about the richness of your voice. Somebody is waiting to hear exactly what you have to say. Somebody is waiting to know you at a deeper level. Somebody is waiting for the lesson you can teach. The wisdom you can bring forth. The healing that you can speak.

This is about you.

And your voice.

Let us make a commitment to ourselves to use our voice, to sing our song, to have a strong and powerful note, create boundaries that honor the authenticity of who we are.

This is about you.

Take a nice deep breath and let it out with a nice Ahhh.

Just connect with your voice. Connect with it, connect with it.

(Music playing)

I’m so glad to be a woman.

Just imagine, I could have been a rock in a park.

Some raisin in bran.

I mean just think about it.

Think about how awesome and magnificent really it is just to be who you are.

Just to be able to stand and watch pieces and parts of your body shift and change.

You know, guys are boring.

Did you know that?

They don’t have things that fall down.

They don’t have things to play with like we do.

I’m so grateful.

And I’m so grateful because the way my mind works as a woman—this is a miraculous thing, I figured out that the reason we have babies is because men don’t know how to utilize space.

A man could never get a big old baby in there. He couldn’t do that.

Our minds are simply incredible.

But all too often we waste them.

Re-running tapes that don’t serve us.

Re-running beliefs that don’t honor us.

Watching too many soap operas let me not say that, because this is my commercial.

Monday is my birthday.

I’m gonna be 52 years old on Monday. And Monday I start over. I do. I start over.

I’m participating in the first daytime reality show called Starting Over.

Where six (6) women come together in a house to heal and grow and I’m the life coach.

So check your local listings.

That’s my commercial. Monday. It is my intention—it is my intention, and with the grace of the goddess and the Holy Spirit to revolutionize the face of daytime television. To begin to use television as a median

to heal and grow. And that’s because of the way I think about women. I am committed to the universal healing of women.

I’m committed to women healing their bodies, healing their hearts, and women healing their mind.

I’m committed to that.

Because our minds are so powerful.

I want to encourage you—I want to encourage you that at least once a day do a mind dump. A mind dump where you totally allow yourself to release every thought about yourself.

About everyone else.

Every thought, every judgment, every past experience.

Just dump your mind.

I can’t tell you how to do it. I’m not going to tell you to rub no crystals on your head, stand on 1 toe, do a yoga—I can’t tell ya none of that. I’ll just say, figure it out and do it. Use your voice and affirm it. It is my intention at this moment to dump all negative unproductive unharmonious energies from my mind so I will be a greater and a more whole vessel for the divine energy and essence of life. So that everything that I put my hand to do will be healing for someone.

That everything I open my mouth to speak will be healing for someone. That every talent, skill, ability that I have will bring peace, harmony, love, balance on the planet. Great goddess, give me the right thoughts now and point my feet in the right direction. Now you have to buy the tape because that’s on that.

This is about your mind.

It’s about the minds of women coming together.

It’s about the minds of women working together.

This is about you and your mind.

Your mind is a powerful instrument.

It is the universal vessel of Light and there is a universal power waiting to pull forth through you. There is a song that, that power wants you to sing, a book that, that power wants you to write.

There’s a business that, that power wants you to open up. This is about you, right here and right now.

Your mind is connected to the one (1) divine universal mind and there is a down pouring of powerful information that you can use simply because you are a woman.

To bring light, energy and healing on to the planet.

This is about you and your mind.

Open your mind. Hear your mind.

Expand your mind. (Music playing…)

Your mind…ok, I have to talk fast now. I have 12 minutes, so I want to talk real fast. This is about you and this is about your spirit. This is about your spirit. This is about your spirit. This is about the dynamic, divine essence and energy at the core of your being.

This is about your spirit and I’m not talking spirituality. I’m talking spirit. I’m talking essence, energy.

This is about your spirit.

And the strength of it.

And the power of it.

And the beauty of it.

This is about your spirit.

This is about your spirit.

This is about you.

Ladies, you know, sometimes we think that when we get on this path of growing and loving and healing and being political and working that we’re not supposed to struggle.

Don’t look now, don’t look left or right, but the person right next to you is struggling right now with something because all of us are struggling with something. So many of us want to have faith, but we don’t want to have to test to build that faith.

This is about your spirit and the reason we struggle is to grow in spirit.

To grow in spirit. When we have questions, when we have doubts, it’s about our growth. It’s about our evolution.

I love confusion. I love confusion. I love confusion.

You know why? Because when I get confused, it says that I have come to the edge of all the information that I know and I’m on the verge of a break through.

And in that moment of confusion when all my degrees and all my books and all my experience and CDs and tapes don’t help me, that’s when I go to spirit.

That’s when I get still.

That’s when it gets deep.

That’s when I get naked before the God of my understanding and say Help me because I’m weak.

Help me because I don’t know.

Help me because I’m not as cute, as smart, as powerful as I think I am in this moment. It’s about your spirit and we have to go to that well of spirit and drink from that well and suckle at the breast of the mother. And allow her to nurture us. Don’t be afraid to say you don’t know.

Because, when you say you don’t know, your spirit will tell you what you need to know.

Don’t be afraid to say you can’t.

Because when you say you can’t, spirit can.

Don’t be afraid to step into the darkness of the unknown because your spirit will be your light. Get in touch with your spirit, whether you do it with breath, whether you do it with meditation, whether you do it with belly dancing or yoga.

Get into your spirit. Because it’s in the spirit of a woman that this world is going to be healed.

Every single thing you need to heal this planet, we have it.

We have the spirit of our love. We have it in the spirit of our voice.

We have it in the spirit of our mind.

Lest we not forget that we are giving birth to the men we are raising them— we are re growing them. We’re sleeping with them. We are feeding them.

As we become grounded in our spirit as women, we gave them permission and direction to be more grounded in their spirit as men.

Get in touch with your spirit.

This is about spirit.

This is about your divine glory, your essence, your being.

Stop being so busy that you, you don’t have time for five minutes of silence three times a day. This is about you. And your spirit. And your poem and your glory.

This is about you, and the spirit in you.

There is a spirit waiting to answer your question that you don’t have the courage to ask. This is about you.

And there’s a spirit in you that knows exactly how you are to take the next step to get to where you need to be.

But if you don’t touch that or tap into it, be present to that spirit, you’re out there on your own. And that could be a hazard to your health.

(Music…) Your spirit.

I want to tell you a quick story before I talk to you about your heart.

I love a sale.

I don’t care what’s on sale.

If it say sale, I have to be here.

It could be something and I’d miss it.

I love a sale. Don’t be shamed. Don’t be shamed.

So I was reading in the paper—this was a year ago—I was reading in the paper that LensCrafters had a sale. I tell you, I don’t care what the sale is sisters. So my grandson, he wears eye glasses so I figured I would be a good grandmother. It was during the Christmas season. I would take him to LensCrafters and they had two eye exams for 39.99. How could I give that up? Any shopper worth her weight in the credit card knows if there’s a two for sale you got to be there.

So I went to LensCrafters and since he had two eyes and I had two eyes, I would be the second one of the two for. So they examined my grandson’s eyes. I hadn’t had an eye exam since they did those “E’s”, that how long it had been since I had an eye exam, because I can see everything or so I thought.

So now I go in, they have all kind of modern technology. Have you been getting your eyes examined lately? You have to look in the little machine and they say do you see the green and the blue—it was so quite exciting and then you go from that office to the other office and you—they say I’m going to test you for glaucoma and you stick your eyes in the other thing and poof they spit some stuff in your eye, they don’t even tell you it’s coming— so now you can’t see maybe you don’t have glaucoma, but you have powder in your eye to let them know you don’t have it. Oh, it was quite exciting.

So Dr. Apple, she was the eye doctor—isn’t that great, apple for the eye—she gave my grandson his glasses and then she said to me Ms. Vanzant, where are your glasses?

I said I don’t wear no glasses.

She said you don’t?

I said absolutely not. No, I don’t.

She said you don’t wear glasses for reading?

No.

Well, that wasn’t really true because I had that nice little leopard pair that I got from Target because they were on sale? You know, have you been to Target? They have them on the rack, the little magnifying ones.

I got them for $1.25. I just got them because they were leopard and they go with so many things and a diva must have leopard eyeglasses, O.K.

And so she said you don’t have reading glasses?

I said I don’t have reading glasses. I said what are you trying to say to me?

She said Ms. Vanzant; you need not one, not two, but three pair of eyeglasses.

I was absolutely horrified. I said I didn’t even know that. Why are you telling me I need glasses?

She said because your vision is very bad.

I said when did my vision get bad?

She said well, if you don’t know, you know I don’t know. This is the first time I’ve seen you. What am I supposed to say to you?

The reason I didn’t know that is because your eyes will adjust to the level of deficiency in their focus.

Hear me! Your eyes will adjust to the level of deficiency in your focus.

How many of us are walking around not realizing that we can’t even see?

That our eyes have adjusted to a certain level of deficiency and that we then adjust our lives to the deficiency that we see. And any time we adjust ourselves to deficiency, it means that we are not living the truth that is in our heart.

We have to get our eyes checked. And the way you check your vision in your life is not by going to LensCrafters because they have a sale. The way you check your vision is to really get deep down and in touch with what’s going on in your heart.

Are you still mad at booboo because he left you at 56, upset with your mama because she gave you generic cookies?

What is going on in your heart?

Are you still holding yourself back because mom liked your sister better?

Are you still upset with your brother?

Is there somebody that you still need to forgive because your life has been adjusted to the level of deficiency and defect in your vision? And if your heart isn’t open, joyful, loving, peaceful, then it means you can’t really see.

This is about you.

This is about you.

It doesn’t matter what they did.

If it’s causing an upset in your life, it’s about you.

It doesn’t matter what they said.

If you’re still talking about it, it’s about you.

It doesn’t matter whether they sent the check or didn’t send the check.

It don’t matter that Booboo left you or Fifi ain’t coming back.

If you’re not living in joy and in peace in your heart, then you are out of integrity.

Because you have the universal and a divine contract with the Creator of your life to live in total, absolute, complete abundant joy.

And if you’re not doing that, it’s about you. It’s not about Booboo.

It’s not about Fifi.

It ain’t even about Bush bless his pointed head.

It’s about you.

So the question becomes today is how are you going to heal your heart? How are you going to stand authentically in your heart?

You know, women think we’ve got to do so much.

But there’s really only three things a woman was put here on the planet to do.

A woman was put on the planet to awaken to her God self, to awaken to your God self that divinity, that nobility, the God of your understanding—I’m not teaching you religion.

If tree’s rocked bushes, if that turns you on, if you like it, I love it—but get to the God of your understanding and awaken to your God self.

Number two, to celebrate life.

You were put here to celebrate life.

Life is a blast.

I mean sometimes, you know, it can be a royal pain in the butt and rather inconvenient, but Oh, well, what the hell. If you have some party shoes, get in it and dance.

That is a woman’s work.

A woman’s work is to dance.

You know, you can dance yourself through anything—you wanna leave me Booboo, go on, get out…

Oh, yes.

Oh, you want to fire me? Whoa-whoa … a woman’s work is to sing. You know we have to dance we have to sing.

Most of all, we have to learn the power of “TADA”.

See you have the power of TADA in your heart.

You know what TADA is; right?

Oh, you thought I was going to fail? You thought I wasn’t going to make it? You thought I was going to stay crazy forever? Well, TADA! You thought you were going to hold me down? Oh, you really thought I didn’t have it going on? Well … a woman’s work is to dance and to

sing TADA. So ladies get into your hearts.

Can you stand up for a minute? I just want to check your woman-ness. Let me just see. Get a hip moving, just one, just one. Don’t hurt yourself now. If it feels good to you—that’s right, Mama, work it out.

See, a woman can do anything. Just work it out. Now, if you really want—men, and that’s all right. Men, you too. We appreciate you.

Get up men, c’mon get up.

We know you might have a little woman hiding in there.

Just sway and sway and say TADA, TADA.

TADA—we’re coming up, we’re becoming powerful.

We are becoming stronger. We are taking over.

Yes. We have work to do.

Oh, it feels so good.

Yes. And if you just put your arms in it—yes. Now, remember, you’ve prayed for somebody today; right?

So that means there’s a dispensation on its way to you.

Because what you give, you receive tenfold.

So come on.

Pull it down. Pull it down. Pull it down. Pull it down. Ooh! Just get in it now.

Whatever it is. C’mon. The courage pull it down. The strength, pull it down.

The victory. Pull it down. Yeah! Pull it down.

Whatever you need, reach hi pull it down.

Reach up. Ok, keep them hips moving.

Because a woman’s work is to stretch her hands as far as she can reach and grab all that she can grab.

And just thank you, TADA, TADA, TADA…you ain’t moving your hips! We have to be multifaceted! Yeah! Yes! Yes!

And right where you are, take a nice deep breath and just feel life as it moves through you.

As it reviews, renews, and revises itself in you.

What a blessing to stand on the planet as a woman, a creative and divine instrument of the infinite intelligence of life.

They tried to silence us, but TADA.

They tried to hold us down, but TADA.

In so many areas we have been first and we will be first and we will continue.

Because not only are we divine, we are phenomenal.

Because of the divine essence within us.

Thank you, Father, mother God for allowing us to be alive on the planet at time inhabiting the flesh form as female.

Right now we ask that you put the right thoughts in our minds and that you point our feet in the right direction.

Guide us individually and collectively to that place of divine purpose in our lives so that we, as your daughters, as your handmaidens, will bring a new life, a new light, a new energy onto the planet.

Thank you, Father, Mother, God.

Thank you most of all, not only for our greatness, for our divinity, for our sweetness, for our beauty, for our power.

Thank you, God for chocolate!

This keynote speech was delivered by Iyanla Vanzant at the 3rd Annual Women & Power Conference organized by Omega Institute and V-Day in September 2004. To order the CD of this speech or to purchase other CDs from this event, please click here.

More Speeches from the 2004 Women & Power Conference

Iyanla Vanzant
Iyanla Vanzant is an ordained minister, lawyer, and spiritual life counselor who is a frequent guest on the “Oprah Winfrey Show.” The award-winning author of five New York Times best-sellers, including Acts of Faith, One Day My Soul Just Opened Up, and In the Meantime, Vanzant facilitates workshops nationally with a mission to assist in the empowerment of men and women.

Praised by Los Angeles mayor Tom Bradley as “an inspiration to all women,” her stories of personal struggle and victory as a battered wife and teenage welfare mother have touched millions. In building a life of transformation on the foundation of her troubled past, she has become a standard bearer for the power of forgiveness and love to heal. She has been awarded an “Oni” by the International Congress of Black Women as one of the nation’s unsung heroes.

In 1998, she served as the national spokesperson of Literacy Volunteers of America. In 1999, she was listed among the 100 Most Influential African Americans by Ebony magazine, and her debut spoken word album hit the Billboard Gospel Chart at Number 1. She has been awarded an honorary doctorate of humane letters degree from the City University of New York and an honorary doctor of divinity degree from the Theological Seminary in Atlanta, Georgia.

 

 

 

Spring Fling Contest: Victoria Wells

Romance Slam Jam Tribute Part 4, 04-26-08

Romance Slam Jam Tribute Part 4, 04-26-08
BAN hosts a Romance Slam Jam Tribute to the following authors:

Ann Clay
M. Bridges
Denise Jeffries
J.M. Jeffries
Niambi Brown Davis
Donna Hill

Check Out book by some of the RSJ Authors Here

Dancing Willow Tree Interview

Intimate Conversations With…Author Anita Ballard-Jones

Sankofa Literary Society Intimate Conversations With….Author Anita Ballard-Jones

Recently Ella Curry, CEO of EDC Creations (www.edc-creations.com) and founder of the Sankofa Literary Society had the opportunity to talk with the author of book The Dancing Willow Tree, Anita Ballard-Jones.

Join us in a Intimate Conversation With…Author Anita Ballard-Jones
Listen to a dramatic reading from The Rehoboth Road and The Dancing Willow Tree—You are going to love this!

When did you first realize you wanted to be a writer?
Answer: I guess I am one of those authors who broke the mold. From my youth until my early fifties, I never though of becoming a writer, except that I wanted to write a memoir about life with my brother who was developmentally disabled. Then, I believe it was the Lord’s will that I write Rehoboth Road . Suddenly I was hooked on writing.

How long does it take you to write a book?
Answer: I wrote the first 100 pages of Rehoboth Road in one night. Then, I completed the remainder of the novel over several years. I was not a serious writer and only worked on the manuscript sporadically. When I retired, I competed the manuscript in a few months. I completed the first draft of The Dancing Willow Tree in six months, but I worked on it at least eight hours a day. My third unpublished manuscript, Ring Around The Roses, was written in one year.

What is your work schedule like when you’re writing?
Answer: I’m retired, so I can write anytime I want. Most of the time I write in the evening, but I only write new material when I’m inspired. There are two parts to my work schedule, the creative and the corrective (editing). If I’m not inspired to be creative, I never write. I use this time to review what I have already written and do as much editing as I can.

What would you say is your interesting writing quirk?
Answer: Working in a noisy environment. I like having the television or radio on. I really don’t like to be interrupted by family, but I like the family to go about their normal business around me. I don’t like to isolate myself in my office either. My family seems to understand when I’m working and they just move around me. I’ll work at the kitchen table or with my laptop in then living room or sunroom. I can tune out all the noise, but can spike to alertness if I’m needed. My creativity is stifled when I’m in a quiet place.

How do books get published?
Answer: I could write a book on ‘How to Get Published’. So let’s just speak about getting published. There are two ways to get published. You are lucky or unlucky to be picked up by a mainstream publishing company. Unless you are a well known personality, your chances of being offered a lucrative contract are almost non existent. Most likely, if you are offered a contract, your advance will be under $2,000 and your royalty on the retail price of your book will be between 6 to 10 %. Your marketing budget will be zero or close to it, but worst of all, you will have signed the rights to your baby away for X period of years. If you think writing your novel was difficult, then get prepared to give up the next year of your life to market your book at your expense, and don’t quit your day job. Unless you are a best selling author, you will cry when you see your royalty check, because you know your book sold in the thousands; those low royalty percentages really hurt your pocket

The other way to get published is self publishing. You, the author can do for yourself what the mainstream publishing houses will do for you. Until you make that name for yourself and are willing to sign away the rights to your work, that lucrative contract will not come your way. After the cost of the book production and distribution, you will at lease have 25 to 30% profit on the retail price of each book. You will finance your own distribution and marketing expenses, but you will reap the benefits of your promotions and everything is tax deductable. Except for professional editing, you can cut the cost of producing you novel by learning to do some things for yourself:

-Becoming a license publisher. (Select a name for your company and go down to your local town hall and pay a small fee for a license and you are in business. Open a small business bank account.)

-Obtain ISBN numbers

-Obtain a barcode for each ISBN number when you need to use one.

-Obtaining a copyright

-Register your novel with the Library of Congress and obtain a Library of Congress Control Number

-Design your book cover

-Design your book interior and typeset your novel.

-Once your book is published register it with Bowker’s ‘Books In Print’

There are many books on the market, but I’ve found “SELF-PUBLISHING by Tom & Marilyn Ross to be the most informative.

I have been mainstream published and self-published, and I prefer to be a self-published author. I would not have been so eager to take this position a few years ago, but the Internet has made it possible for self-published authors to have great success, and book stores are more willing to carry self-published books in their stores.

Where do you get your information or ideas for your books?
Answer: From life and observation. Sometimes I hear or see a situation and I will make a note. I don’t use outlines. I only write when I’m inspired around a particular theme. Once my characters are developed they seem to take on a life of their own; this is more likely when my novel is inspired by a true life incidents.

When did you write your first book and how old were you?
Answer: Early fifties. I wrote a memoir titled, BROKEN BOND. I have not published it yet. It’s a personal look into my life and I’m not ready to share it with my reader.

What do you like to do when you’re not writing?
Answer: I love to fish; play the computer game, NEED FOR SPEED; go to the movies, and read, but I don’t like to read as much as I did before I became an author. It seems I do more book editing and that slows down my reading.

What does your family think of your writing?
Answer: They are very supportive and are always telling me about things I should write about.

What was one of the most surprising things you learned in creating your books?
Answer: When I was in high school (back in the late 60s), I remember telling myself there were two things I never wanted to be in life, a doctor and a writer. I was never a doctor, but I was a Treatment Team Leader, whereas I supervised doctors as a hospital administrator, and then I became an author. So I would say the most surprising thing I learned was that I could write. When my fans wrote to tell me how much they enjoyed my novel, I felt authenticated as an author.

How many books have you written? Which is your favorite?
Answer: I have two published books, REHOBOTH ROAD and THE DANCING WILLOW TREE. I also have three completed manuscripts, BROKEN BOND (my memoir), RING AROUND THE ROSES ( a novel inspired by a true story about six inner city children who raised themselves because their parents were drug addicts), and a series of short stories based on my personal experiences and observations. REHOBOTH ROAD and THE DANCING WILLOW TREE are currently my favorite, however, as soon as I publish my manuscript, RING AROUND THE ROSES I plan to submit it for consideration for a PULITZER PRIZE. I was more inspired to write this novel than I was when I wrote REHOBOTH ROAD . Ignorance prevented me from submitting REHOBOTH ROAD to the Pulitzer Foundation.

Do you have any suggestions to help me become a better writer? If so, what are they?
Answer: Be inspired when writing. Be your best critic. Write, re-write, re-write, re-write, re-write, etc. When you are inspired to write, then write. Don’t stop to correct your writing because you will loose your trend of thought. When your inspiration is gone, then correct what you have written.

Do you hear from your readers much? What kinds of things do they say?
Answer: Yes. My readers write me all the time and I love it. Most of the time I receive letters of praise, and there are a few who point out issues. Some of the issues are helpful and constructive. I try to respond to everyone within twenty-four hours

Thank you Anita for taking time to visit with the Sankofa Literary Society. As always it was a pleasure speaking with you. We look forward to seeing you at the top!

Warmest regards,
Ella Curry, 
President/CEO EDC Creations
Black Author Network Radio-Founder
Sankofa Literary Society-Founder
A Good Book-Marketing Director

www.edc-creations.com