It’s a sister thang: Oneness as sisters

Rhonica’s Notebook


Rhonica Wesley

Black women have often been deemed loud, unruly, ignorant, and sometimes irrational in the entertainment world. Though it is entertaining to some of us, it is not in the least bit a laughing matter because sometimes it hits the nail right on the head. On numerous accounts women were portrayed this way in such movies as; “Friday,” Starring Ice Cube, Chris Tucker, and Regina King. In “Baby Boy.” Starring Tyrese and snoop dog, “Baps,” A movie that starred Halle Berry. The list is endless, and though most of us have grown to love some of these movies, do we really stop and take a look at ourselves?

Instead of downing each other, don’t you think it’s time that we uplift each other? African-American women have been stereotyped too long, and though we are making a change we are still not out of the woods.

“I know that she didn’t wear that.”

“Girl did you hear what happened to Gina.”

“I got some news for you, and it’s about that &#*@& Wendy.”

You’ve heard it on the subway,in class, just around the way. You’ve listened to the gossip, and sometimes even started some yourself. Gossip can sometimes be harmful to relationships that we have with those we love. It’s easy enough to say, “Just butt out.” but when juicy gossip hits the street, we all want to know. Recently I found on yahoo answers a question sent by a woman, the question stated,

Question for black women only…!?

how to do you feel about other black experiences with other black women is always negative…they always looking at me with their faces all frowned up…when i walk into a retail shop they don’t look like my way..but…if a white woman or someone less attractive walks in they run and break their neck to help them..why are most sistas so negative,evil and jealous?
The young lady was merely suggesting that black women were not fond of her because she was more attractive and black. Is this true? do we as black women single each other out because we feel threatened, and jealous even?

In the past we thought a good way to keep down mess, was to keep out business to ourselves, but it is sometimes that one sister that we think is trustworthy who is spreading our news all over town. As the black community rapidly progresses, and we are becoming more active in our neighborhoods, and earning degrees, and awards to better ourselves. We as role models to our younger generation of young black women need to realize that oneness is important. If you viewed my video “they for them and we for us,” you’ll understand when I say a comforting word is more than a downgrading one. It is “Us” sisters for our generation. It is time to take life by the reins and teach and nurture our young women. Oneness means coming together and standing for what we believe in. Less iniquity and more equality among our sisters. no matter what side of the tracks she comes from, what she wears or how fresh her hairstyle is. it’s time we made this a sister thang.


12 comments on “It’s a sister thang: Oneness as sisters

  1. Tiffany says:

    I would like to bring up an issue here since we are talking about black sistahs. There is a great black woman in the black community who is very smart, wise, and amongst the many topics she passionate about is the black womans awakening and true Herstory(history). Her name is DR. EPPS, and her site is Please check out this, it’s powerful

  2. I would like to address these questions by Rhonica
    The young lady was merely suggesting that black women were not fond of her because she was more attractive and black. Is this true? do we as black women single each other out because we feel threatened, and jealous even?

    Ella’s opinion: I am not sure why as black women we single each other out, but I do know this—the time has come where we need to see pass the obvious beauty of a person and look into the inner beauty of all individuals. The most beautiful person in the world, with an evil spirit is just ugly. I do not base beautiful black women on what I can see of hair, skin, and the body. I base “beautiful people and ugly people” on their actions and sometimes their resistance to helping their community.

  3. That is true, some of the prettiest women.. black and white can have ugly attitudes and evil spirits. Now the question at hand was about singling women out because of their looks. In high school one of my friends got teased because she was high yella, and had long hair. To me that was pure jealously. But then again all girls do that no matter what color. Feeling threatened or envious is not just a thing that African American women do, it’s universal.

  4. I think this is a very interesting topic, one that many like to talk about. It may have something to do with age, environment, and even location.
    When I was younger, living on the East coast, I encountered this much more often. Now living in the area of the West coast where you can go days without seeing a black face, I am just happy to see someone who looks like me, even if only by complexion.

  5. WoW! sable girl where are you at? I’m guessing you’re somewhere where there are mostly Latinos?

  6. C W says:

    “how to do you feel about other black women?”

    Excellent question!

    There is definitely a force that has an interest in keeping Black women divided…If we made it a habit of combining our awesome strengths (rather than petty rivalries) We would be unstoppable…Imagine a world where Black women of all shades, shapes, sizes and incomes came together to make this world better for the young Black girls growing up…


  7. AMEN AMEN!!!

    Though sometimes that seems like a fantasy in the breeze. Maybe one day we will stand united… before it is too late.

  8. lilkemet says:

    Hi there. Great blog post.

    I am a sista who likes to treat other sistas with respect. But we all need to stop hating each other giving each other bad looks. We know that there are black female stereotypes we live through it so we do not need to make it worse. We need to learn unity and love. As a younger black woman I would like to see it with the older generation and the younger.

    PS: I like the art you have used at the beginning of this post.

  9. Hi likemet,

    thank you for reading and commenting sister. I totally agree that in both the younger and older generation it needs to be seen. We’ll make it… one step at a time. Rhonica

  10. culturallyconscious says:

    I know this ia a sista thing, but may offer to you another great elder mother who I have set under for wisdom and knowledge about us as a “Culture!” Her name is Elder Mother Anna Swanston. She is a few years above three score and ten but sharp as a tack. She recently wrote a Book about her life entitled: An Examined Life… You may contact her at


  11. staticity says:

    I live in Philly and I am not black, but I get treated with a lot of racism. Because I live in a mostly black area, I get looked at brutally. Often times the street will turn quiet when I walk into my house. I don’t understand it either

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