Have You Ever Been Sexually Abused?

Have You Ever Been Sexually Abused?


by Stephanie L. Jones


 April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, as well as National Child Abuse Awareness Month



Child Sexual Abuse. It’s something that no one wants to talk about. It’s shameful, embarrassing, and humiliating. But it’s something that affects every family at some point in time. Therefore, we must talk about it.

One in 3 females and 1 in 5 males are sexually abused as children and 90% of the time it’s at the hands of a family member, close family friend, or trusted leader. It’s not a stranger on the street, but it’s someone the victim loves and trust. Some of the results of sexual abuse include low self-esteem, health problem, sexual promiscuity, teenage pregnancy, abortion, excessive spending habits, and problems forming and maintaining relationships.

  • 66% of teen pregnancies and abortions are preceded by sexual abuse.
  • 96% of prostitutes were sexual abuse victims.
  • 75% of rapists were sexual abuse victims.
  • 60% of children who experience abuse and neglect are more likely to be arrested at some point in their lives.

I know what it feels like to endure years of sexual abuse and suffer in silence. I was sexually abused for over seven years, beginning at age five. However, it wasn’t until I was almost 30 years old that I told someone about it and addressed how it affected my teenage and young adult life. Through prayer and spending time with God, I realized that what happened to me as a child didn’t just go away. God showed me how it led to one bad decision after the next. But, most importantly, I learned the steps to heal from it!

  1. What are some steps abuse victims can take to begin the healing process?

First, the person should pray and ask God to show them how they’re still being affected by it. There are side effects that seem to exist amongst all victims, but they do vary by person. Secondly, talk to someone! Keeping silent doesn’t make it go away or stop the pain. Sexual abuse is a heavy burden to bear alone. Last, forgive the offender. Forgiveness is a decision and something that a person purposes in their heart to do. It doesn’t make the abuse right nor does it mean they must have a relationship with the offender. It means letting go of the anger and resentment in one’s own heart. There may be other necessary steps. It depends on where the victim/survivor is at in life. But this is a great place to start!

  1. Only 15% of abuse cases are ever revealed. Why don’t victims tell?

There’s no one reason, but usually as a child, the victim is not aware of the seriousness of the situation. Sometimes they feel like participants and are afraid of getting in trouble. Oftentimes it’s an issue of fear. Ninety-percent of the time the offender is a family member or close family friend. No one wants someone they love or another family member to serve 10-25 years in prison for child molestation.

  1. What can other people do to help remedy this problem?

Be more selective about where and with whom they allow their children to spend their time, including with family members, friends, and leaders. Pay attention to children’s actions and conversations. Stop making sexual abuse the family secret! Keeping quiet only allows for it to go on generation after generation. Also, get children help when child-on-child sexual abuse takes place. This will prevent them from becoming teenage and adult child molesters.

Stephanie L. Jones, author of The Enemy Between My Legs, is a highly sought after speaker for schools, organizations, and churches. A sexual abuse survivor, she knows and understands the effects that it has on a victim’s life. She is committed to helping others, especially teenage girls and young women, find healing from the pain of their past. Purchase the book or connect with Stephanie confidentially at www.stephanieljones.com




Sexual Abuse: Gag Order Has Been Lifted



Stephanie L. Jones
P.O. Box 401363
Redford, MI 48240
Phone: 877.832.6575 | media@stephanieljones.com

Sexual Abuse, The Gag Order Has Been Lifted

Detroit, MI – In her bold new book The Enemy Between My Legs author, Stephanie L. Jones, tackles the tough subject of child sexual abuse. In what Disilgold Magazine and The RAWSISTAZ Reviewers calls, “A well written revelation and a must read for every man and woman,” readers are uninhibitedly allowed into the heart and soul of a sexual abuse survivor. Jones shares how over seven years of child molestation, which began at age five, haunted her and continuously resurfaced in her teenage and adult life in the forms of promiscuity, substance abuse and difficulties in maintaining interpersonal relationships.

“It’s very difficult to tell a young person not to have sex once they’ve been sexually abused. No one could tell me not to. My first sexual experience was at age five. I had been touched, kissed, and fondled so much as a child that by age of 13, I didn’t want it to stop,” says Jones. 

Jones is not alone. Shockingly, one in three females and one in five males are sexually abused. According to the organizations Darkness to Light and ChildHelp.com, the effects of sexual abuse extend far beyond the years in which it actually takes place and ends. What’s even more shocking is that studies also reveal that 90% of sexual abuse cases occur at the hands of a family member, close family friend, or trusted leader.

• 66% of teen pregnancies and abortions are preceded by sexual assault.
• 96% of prostitutes were sexual abuse victims.
• 75% of rapists were sexual abuse victims.
• 60% of children who experience abuse and neglect are more likely to be arrested.
• Sexual abuse victims often suffer self-esteem, health, financial and weight problems.
“Sexual abuse is a taboo subject. No one wants to talk about it,” says Jones. “When it is discussed people tend to reference internet predators, neighborhood pedophiles and strangers lurking in the park. But most sexual abuse takes place right in our homes between fathers, daughters, mothers, siblings, uncles, aunts, and other family members. We need to address what’s happening in our very own families!”

At times the book was somewhat painful to write because of the memories she had to summons up, but it was something she felt compelled to do. With this book Jones turned the negative experiences of her childhood into a manual of self defense for parents and other caretakers seeking to protect their children. It will assist adults who were victims of sexual abuse in understanding how those experiences might be affecting their lives today, as well as serve as a self-help guide for those seeking freedom from the bondage of their past.    

Stephanie L. Jones is a highly sought-after speaker for schools, churches, and organizations. Having suffered over years of sexual abuse, she knows the effects that it can have on a victim’s life.  Contact 877.832.6575, media@stephanieljones.com, or visit http://www.stephanieljones.com.