Intimate Conversation with Danette Majette

Intimate Conversation with Danette Majette

Danette Majette  was born in Long Branch, New Jersey, and moved to Norfolk, Virginia when she was five. After graduating from high school and going into the U.S. Marine Corps, Danette’s love for fashion led her to Nordstrom where she worked as a manager. It was there that she was advised be a friend and co-worker to write her first novel “I Shoulda Seen It Comin” which debuted in 2005. She followed this success two years later with her second novel ‘Deep” which successfully made the Essence Magazine bestseller list in 2008. She released her third novel “Good Girl Gone Bad’ in April 2009.

After years of living in Washington D.C., Danette decided to move to Raleigh, N.C., with her two children, Bryan Majette and Marketa Salley. Marketa is a featured author in LCB’S Teenage Bluez; a series of urban short stories written for and by teens. Danette’s fourth novel ‘Bitter’ is set to be released in February 2011.

Listen to the 2011 LCB Book Launch Party, here: http://bit.ly/h4Z3KJ

 

BPM: Tell us about your passion for writing. What impact do you want your book to make on the readers?
My passion comes from the deep interest I have in things going on in my community. I always have issues going on around me so I take those issues and turn them into a book, with added spice of course. To be honest, I love to write entertaining novels!!
I think people are so consumed with the trivial things in life that they don’t realize that there are people out here with serious issues and problems going on in their lives. There are people that are homeless, hungry, dealing with bad relationships, and fighting for their lives everyday. I hope my stories will effect someone in a positive manner.

BPM: Finish this sentence- “Our writing offers the following legacy to future readers…”I hope to show people that you can come from nothing and make something of yourself. I don’t want my life to be measured by what I accumulated but instead on how I used a gift from God to spread the word about issues affecting our society. I want to be remembered for putting out quality material and always conveying positive messages in my books to help the next generation. I hope long after my death, my legacy will continue with the lives I’ve touched with my writings.

BPM: Introduce us to your latest novel, Bitter.
Reese Kennedy, is a controversial radio talk-show host who was on top of the world when she was married and living the glamorous life. That is until her husband Eric, a former NBA player, leaves for her for a much younger woman. After a nasty divorce, Reese takes her frustration out on every man by bashing them on her show and soon becomes the most hated woman in Dallas. Just when Reese thinks she s completely fed up with men, a handsome and charismatic investor named Xavier walks into her life. Trying her best to adjust to love again, Reese finally puts her guards down until she suddenly finds herself on death s door. The phrase keep your enemies close will take on a new meaning when an awful truth is revealed and Reese quickly learns that she s not the only one who s bitter.

BPM: Who are the main characters of Bitter. What are two major events taking place?
The first major event is Reese is being stalked. Then there is Joi and Lavar who have a very explosive relationship which turns deadly for one of them.

My main characters are Reese, Joi, Julian, Lavar and Xavier. Reese is a radio host who loses her husband to a young white girl so she’s very bitter about that. She later finds love but at what cost. Joi is Reese’s best friend and co-host who is in a volatile relationship with Lavar a big time hustler who is the epitome of evil.

Julian is Reese’s producer who is obsessed with her but keeps it a secret until she meets Xavier. He then starts to unravel right before Reese’s eyes showing his bitter side as well. Xavier is Reese’s new love who has a few secrets of his own. 

BPM: Who were your favorites? Are your characters from the portrayal of real people?
Joi is my favorite. In a lot of ways she reminds me of myself. She’s funny, loves shopping, tells it like it is, and she’s not afraid to stand up to Lavar, even though everyone else is. She knows he’s dangerous but she checks him when he gets out of bounds with her.

BPM: Were there things from “your world” incorporated into this storyline?
Absolutely! There are few scenes between Joi and Lavar that were really things that happened to me so it was really surreal writing them. When things happen to me I don’t think about how crazy they are until I write them in my books. I then look back and think to myself ‘wow’. Some of them have me laughing. Some of them make me wonder how I even allowed myself to get in that situation. I think we are all still learning from our mistakes and will continue to make mistakes because that’s a part of life. Nobody is perfect and life isn’t always going to go the way we want it to. With that said…I’ll never run out of stuff to write about because my life is just that colorful! The good and the bad!

BPM: What compelled you to write Bitter? What are some of the issues discussed in the book?
Domestic violence, stalking, and how to handle baby mama drama are some of the issues addressed in my new book. I read something about Wendy Williams and how she was the radio talk show host everyone loved to hate, my own personal relationships with people, and then just things I see everyday when I leave my home. I can go to a Walmart and see the craziest stuff, come back home, write it down and have a storyline for a book. LOL.

BPM: Who do you want to reach with your book and the message within?
Everyone…because everyone is bitter about something or has been bitter at one time. We put our whole lives out there for the world to see. We get on Facebook and other media outlets and put our exact locations at that moment. We let people know where we work, where we live, we post our children’s pictures, and photos of our home and cars. Well if someone wanted to hurt you…they would know where to find you.
I think we’re also very trusting of people we don’t really know. We go out on a date with someone and the next thing you know they know where we live, what we do, and they’ve met the children. Then we find out their not the person we thought they were we get mad. Well we didn’t really get to know them did we? Yet we’re soooo surprised when it happens.

BPM: How will reading your book shape the reader’s life?
It’s going to make the readers re-evaluate a lot of things they normally do. Hopefully they’ll become a little more cautious and tread with open ears.

BPM: Ultimately, what do you want readers to gain from your book?
I want them to gain a sense of self-worth. If you don’t love and protect yourself…you can’t expect anyone else to.

BPM: What makes your book different from others on the same subject?
I think each of my scenes suggest some kind of mystery and romance. Each chapter is going to arouse curiosity and tantalize readers.

BPM: How can our readers reach you online?
I can be reached at: theliteraryconnection.net   or www.facebook.com/danette.majette

Purchase Bitter by Danette Majette
ISBN-10: 1934230278; Urban Lit
http://www.amazon.com/Bitter-Danette-Majette/dp/1934230278

One Night Stand by Kendall Banks

One Night Stand by Kendall Banks

Have you ever been played? Most will say, yes, and just take the defeat on the chin, but not Zaria Hopkins. Life had already dealt her a bad hand landing her in a two-bedroom apartment with a roommate who thought she was a nut-case, and who desperately tried to get away from both her odd behavior and controlling ways. As luck would have it Zaria hooked up with Hardy, a sexy, suave piece of eye candy who laughed her out of her panties the first night then tried to tell her to forget it ever happened the next day. 

Unfortunately, Hardy wasn’ t aware of her past and that the woman he’d slept with wasn’t the forgiving type. Before long, his wife is in danger and Hardy s secrets are exposed . Zaria wants revenge and decides she deserves everything she’s always been missing; money, power, and respect. With Zaria’s over the top personality and tricks up her sleeve this book is a cross between the modern day fatal attraction and single black female…but with an incredible twist. Beware! 

WARNING: this excerpt is geared toward adult readers. The content is provocative and leads to a very mature discussion.

Excerpt from One Night Stand by Kendall Banks

Clubs were never really my thing. The act of being in an overcrowded room smooched between hundreds of people like sardines as germs hover over both myself and my drink has never really got me off. But tonight I chose to make an exception. I refused to allow my roommate, Milan to out-do me.

Some kind of new age retro music poured from the club’s speakers as skinny model types and preppy looking men, black and white pranced around, danced , and talked loudly over every song the DJ threw on the turntable. Not one single true hip hop song would get any airplay up in here as far as I could tell. There was no way in hell I could ever see myself getting used to this futuristic sounding crap.

My eyes scoured the entire club from the dance floor to the bar repeatedly as I made my way throughout hundreds of people for nearly half an hour until I finally saw Milan standing at the bar with her friends. I walked up behind her and tapped her on the back. As she turned I could see Jazmine choke on her drink when she got a look at the dress I was wearing while Mia only eyed me silently from head to toe.

“Zaria,” Milan said, with surprise. Her eyes quickly ran from my weave to my heels.

Jazmine whispered something to Mia and they both begin to laugh. It was probably something slick, but I was a hard-core girl and would beat them both at the same time if needed. I ignored their ignorance with everything inside me, though I just wanna spaz out on both of their prissy asses. Undoubtedly I looked fabulous. And they hated me for it. That’s all.

“What are you doing here?” Milan asked, still surprised.

“A girl can’t go out sometimes?” I countered, smiling.

“Of course. I just didn’t know you were coming.”

“Yeah, cause you left me, purposely” I spat, then took a step back and placed my hands on my thick rounded hips. 

Both Jazmine and Mia began laughing again. 

Milan smiled and hit me with phony talk, “You…You look great.”

Suddenly a handsome guy walked over. “Milan, I didn’t know you had a sister,” he said out of the blue. Milan introduced me to her date.

“Marcus, this is Zaria.” 

Marcus extended his hand and shook mine. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Zaria.”

“You too,” I returned with a smile.

“So you guys are sisters?” he asked, assuming we were because I’d decided to wear the same dress that Milan wore. She was obviously irked by it. Her girls thought it was super funny. 

Jazmine and Mia laughed again in my face trying to clown me.

Inside, I pondered ways to torture and kill them both.

“No,” Milan said quickly. “We’re just roommates.”

Why couldn’t she lie? Was she trying to say I wasn’t cute enough to be her sister? I had to admit, my feelings were a little hurt. My brown skin had always made me feel ugly no matter how hard I tried to front. Some folks considered me to be light-skinned, and just a little bronzed but not me. I wanted that skin like Milan, almost white. “Are you here with someone, Zaria?” Marcus asked me.

“No. I’m not,” I spat, obviously heated.

“I think I can fix that.”

I watched Marcus wave someone over to the bar. Within a few seconds a man even more handsome than him walks over. 

“Damon, this is Zaria… Zaria, Damon.”

“Hey, Zaria,” Damon greeted with a bright smile and extended hand. “How are you?”

“I’m good now” I returned with major sex appeal. With the heavy flirting, my anger at Milan disappeared for a moment.

He chuckled. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“A Corona would be nice. I’m not a heavy drinker.”

“That’s no problem.” Damon softly placed his left hand on my arm. He waved for the bartender and ordered my drink. 

I couldn’t help but give him a few sly once-over. He was gorgeous: Goatee, pearly white teeth, well dressed, well spoken, muscular, and chocolate like a Hershey bar.

“Do you mind if we sit at a table?” Damon asked after I got my drink. “I’ve been on my feet at the office all day.” 

He has a job. Shyt! That’s always a plus.

“Sure,” I responded softly.

Before I knew it the two of us were bunned up at a booth in the corner of the club trapped in conversation like we were the only two people in the club. I loved the feeling even though I hadn’t planned on meeting a man tonight. I simply didn’t want to be at home alone just in case there was another break-in in our apartment. 

Within just a few hours I felt his body wanting me. And I wanted everything about him to be mine: his smile, the soft touch of his hand when it brushed against my own, and the smell of his cologne. I could feel it. And I didn’t need months or years to realize it like most women.

I was so deep into Damon that I didn’t notice him wave to a passing waitress. “Could you please bring her another Corona, please?” 

My eyes caught her give him a lightning fast inspection, thinking that I hadn’t seen her. “I can’t believe this heifer.” I said in disbelief. Letting her get away with that shit was not an option.

“I don’t appreciate that,” I stood and said sharply.

“Excuse me?” she responded sassily, like I was some fool.

“Zaria, what’s wrong?” Damon asked me with creases in his forehead.

“She knows what’s wrong,” I said lunging forward. I looked the big breast waitress directly in her eyes. “That was very disrespectful, hoe!”

“Miss, what are you talking about?”

Damon stepped between us just as Milan rushed over.

“What’s going on?” Milan asked, followed by Jazmine, Mia, and their dates.

“This hussy right here!” I shouted, pointing my finger in the waitress’ face. “She just tried to make a pass at my man!”

Several club goers turned to see what had kicked off.

“Trick, do you think I’m a freakin’ joke?” I asked, anxious to show her I was not the broad to test. Before I knew it, I’d kicked my heels off.

The waitress was still trying to lie, “I never said…”

Before she could say another word I grabbed Damon’s glass from the table and slung Vodka in her face. 

Just like that, the DJ cut the music and shouted for security, turning the entire Club’s attention in my direction.

The waitress lunged at me attempting to retaliate. 

I ducked her lousy punch. Little did she know I had a past where I always had to fight. “Don’t lie about it!” I screamed. “Be a woman, not a mouse! Admit what you did!”

“Zaria, Calm down,” Damon said, with his eyes beyond wide.

I got even more pissed. Why was he protecting her? Were they fooling around before I got to the club? I’ll bet she sucked his dick in the bathroom stall just before he came and talked to me. I’m nobody’s fool. I grab the empty Corona bottle by the neck, intending to tear his head off. But before I could swing, security had me by my arms and drug me outside while I kicked and screamed like a lunatic.

Dumped onto the street, I see people outside pointing fingers and wondering why I got thrown out, but then reality disappears in an instant. The club is gone. The bouncers are no longer carrying me. Everyone around me is gone. 

I found myself standing outside on a very dark night holding a bag full of my clothes with rain pouring from the sky, drenching my body, lightning and thunder nearly deafening me. Why am I here? Where is everyone?

Footsteps come quickly from the distance, splashing water underneath them. They’re getting closer and closer quickly with each step. Something inside me knows they’re coming for me. Something inside me knows they’re coming to hurt me. I look into the night to see a tall shadowy figure dashing up the street towards me, the sight of him scaring me more than the site of the devil himself.

I run to the nearest house and begin to beat on the door, feeling that I belong there. I’ve been there before hundreds of times. I can feel it. It feels like home. Someone here will protect me for sure.

“Please let me in!” I scream, turning to see the stranger quickly getting closer. “Please help me! I have no place else to go and I need help!”

Tears fall from my eyes. Why won’t they help me? Even over the rattling of thunder and lightning their voices can be heard inside. Why are they ignoring me? Why don’t they love me anymore? What did I do to make them leave me out here to die? 

The stranger’s hand grab’s my shoulder. 

“Zaria!” Milan shouted, snapping me from my daze. 

Current reality surrounds me again just as quickly as it disappeared before. I’m outside the club with the bouncer standing in front of me. 

“Sweetheart, you might’ve had a little too much to drink,” he said. “You really need to go home before I call the police.”

“Hit him!” Hit him now.” That voice was back and he wouldn’t stop. “You’re such a punk, Zaria. Either hit him or go home.”

“Zaria!” Milan called out again. She got close enough to touch me and offered some encouraging words. 

I turned away from her and the bouncer and hopefully that annoying voice. With the quickness, I stormed to my car, with one shoe in my hand , and the other lost. I hurried into my car and slammed the door, hard.

“Zaria!” Milan yelled again, hoping to catch me before I started my Honda.

It was too late… nothing left for her to see now but my tail lights and the invisible horns on my head. 

###

© 2011 All rights reserved. Book excerpt reprinted by permission of publisher, Life Changing Books. This is an abridged version of the original excerpt. Do not reproduce, copy or use without the author’s written permission. Copyright infringement is a serious offense. This excerpt is used for promotional purposes only. Share a link to this page or the author’s website if you really like this.

About the Author
Kendall Banks, author of bestselling author of Rich Girls (2009) and the soon to be released One Night Stand (March, 2011), is offering the reader a glimpse at the consequences of cheating. In addition, after reading One Night Stand you’ll realize that sleeping with someone you don’t really know can have a life changing effect. Check out excerpts from her books on the publisher’s website at: http://www.lifechangingbooks.net.  

Kendall Banks
One Night StandISBN: 193423026X

The Available Wife Excerpt

The Available Wife Excerpt
by Carla S. Pennington

WARNING: this excerpt is geared toward adult readers. The content is provocative and leads to a very mature discussion.

I sighed when the cab driver drove through the gates of my neatly manicured Houston subdivision nearly four hours after I was expected to arrive home. As I coasted through the neighborhood, I stared at each brick single family home and the families that were outside horsing around or tending to their yards. I wondered why I couldn’t be that happy or why my mouth could never form a smile. The only time that it did was when I was with him; Kingston. In the seven months that we’d known each other, he’d swept me off my feet and filled my world with nothing but excitement.

I wasn’t ready to return to reality, but as the cabbie drove closer to my home, I knew that I had no other choice. I took a deep breath and reached inside my leather, Alma Louis Vuitton bag and pulled out a twenty dollar bill to pay the fare. Seconds later, we pulled into my yard. I instantly frowned when I saw my mama’s car in the driveway.

What the hell is she doing here, I thought. I certainly wasn’t in the mood to deal with her ass at the moment.

However, my scowl instantly faded when I watched the enjoyment on my four-year-old son’s face as he did cartwheels on the front lawn. When he spotted me, he made a mad dash toward the yellow cab. I gave him a huge smile as he patted on the window for me to hurry up and get out. I had to get myself together. I desperately had to jump back into my role as mother and wife. Even though I couldn’t get Kingston off or out of my mind, I had to regroup for my boys’ sake.

“Hey, Mommy!” Jonathan yelled as he jumped all over me when I stepped out of the cab.

I didn’t show any painful emotion when he excitedly stepped on my foot.

“Whew, you smell like a wet dog,” I playfully frowned as I gave him several kisses and hugs. “I see you got your hair cut.” I rubbed my hand over his nearly bald head.

“Unhuh,” he smiled with those perfect, beautiful, white teeth that I hoped would look the same once they fell out and the permanent ones came.

“Where’s your daddy?” I asked nonchalantly.

Before he could answer, I heard the front door open. I looked up and saw my husband, Germaine, standing in the threshold of the door holding our five-month-old son, Nathan in his arms. I took a deep breath as I stared at him wishing, for a brief moment, he was Kingston, but I knew that he could never amount up to my lover.

“Why are you so late?” he asked as soon as I made it to the steps.

“Because I am,” I replied in an irritable and defensive tone.

“Why didn’t you call and tell me that you’d be late?”

“Because I didn’t need to,” I snarled. “Why all of the fucking questions? Damn!”

“I thought something may have happened to you Nikki…that’s all. Besides, I left you four messages.”

“I know,” I replied nonchalantly.

“Well, why didn’t you return any of them?”

“Germaine are we really gonna do this now?” I huffed and pouted. I placed my right hand on my hip and shifted my weight to let him know that I wasn’t in the mood. “I just got off the freaking plane.”

When Germaine realized that he wasn’t going to get any straight answers out of me, he dropped the whole interrogation.

“So, how was the trip?” he asked.

“Tiring.”

If only he knew just how tiring it was. As my husband leaned down to kiss me, I turned my head slightly so that his kiss landed on my cheek. I, in turn, planted my lips on my bundle of joys chubby cheeks. Germaine said nothing as I walked past him and into my 4,800 square foot house which, to my surprise, was still clean. Normally when I went out of town I came back to complete chaos…a bachelor’s pad, but nothing could’ve upset me at that moment. I was still on cloud nine.

“You smell nice,” Germaine complimented as he and Nathan joined me inside the house.

“Thanks,” I replied dryly. “Where’s my mother?”

He pointed toward the kitchen before continuing. “Is it new?”

“Why?” I asked then sucked my teeth.

“Because it doesn’t smell like any of the other perfumes you wear.”

Damn, does he pay that much attention to me? I thought. Kingston often told me that he loved the perfumes I wore, so I normally poured it on a little thick when we were together. “It’s the new perfume by Beyonce’,” I replied.

“Well, it smells nice.”

I made a mental note to put it in the drawer until I was with Kingston again. I didn’t want Germaine enjoying it. It was for Kingston’s enjoyment only.

“I made reservations at seven o’clock at that hibachi restaurant that you and John John love so much,” Germaine spoke as he rested his hands on my bare shoulders.

Using Jonathan was his way of getting me to say yes, but I wasn’t in the mood to go out. I wanted to escape into my tub filled with hot, bubbly water to dream and reminisce about my time with Kingston.

“Let me ask you a question?” I addressed him. “How in the hell can you make reservations to a restaurant when you don’t have any money?”

He gave me an uncomfortable look. “I thought maybe you wouldn’t mind…”

“Spending my damn money?” I finished his statement. “You have a lot of freaking nerve. Isn’t there something boxed in the freezer that you can throw in the microwave? Better yet, since you’re Mr. Mom, can’t you just throw some stuff together like you’ve been doing?”

He gave me another uncomfortable look, cradled Nathan in his arms a little tighter and walked toward the door. “I’m happy you’re home, Nikki,” he replied before moping back outside.

(continue)

Order The Available Wife today!

ISBN-10: 1934230170
ISBN-13: 978-1934230176
Life Changing Books – http://www.lifechangingbooks.net

Available today on Amazon Online

© 2011 All rights reserved. Book excerpt reprinted by permission of the publisher, Life Changing Books. Do not reproduce, copy or use without the author’s written permission. Copyright infringement is a serious offense. This excerpt is used for promotional purposes only. This is an abridged version of the original excerpt. Share a link to this page or the author’s website if you really like this sample from The Available Wife.

Meet Author Carla S. Pennington

Carla S. Pennington was born and raised in Prichard, Alabama where she continues to reside with her family. In 1996, Carla was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Over the years, the disease has halted her, but she refuses to let it stop her. She is currently working on a number of other projects that she plans to have published in the near future.

In 2002, she received her Bachelor of Arts degree with a concentration in journalism from Spring Hill College in Mobile, Alabama. After graduation, Carla decided not to pursue her career in journalism. Her heart and mind were elsewhere. She wanted to write fiction novels and short stories, something that she had been doing since she was a young girl.

In 2005, Carla published her first novel, Fling and from there several short stories which appeared in anthologies across the country. Finally, she landed a book deal with Life Changing Books which released the wildly anticipated novel, the Available Wife in January 2011. Readers can reach Carla S. Pennington on FaceBook and Twitter as: carlapennington. Email address: carlapennington@hotmail.com

SNITCH by VegasClarke

  
SNITCH  by VegasClarke 

Snitch is a sexy urban tale that will make you think twice about who you can trust. It all begins with Ces’ar Lopez aka Drape, a savvy street hustler who thinks he’s on top of the world. He has no plans of relinquishing his crown as King Pen of the Streets; but the love of his life Diona has a different agenda.

The drug game becomes a gamble when fast money, sex, and violence all collide and the chips fall hard. In comes Shorty, a gangsta chick with a bodacious body ready to betray anyone who threatens her livelihood. Love, trust, and loyalty are tested in this wild tale of sex and deception.

Eventually, Drape’s back is against the wall and classified information gets exposed. Soon, no one know what side they’re on …but best believe they’ll pay a hefty price; jail time or death. Who will be this hustler’s downfall?

Listen to the 2011 LCB Book Launch Party, here: http://bit.ly/h4Z3KJ
Praise for SNITCH
“If you’re looking for the ultimate betrayal, this is the one.  When it comes to real life snitches…this is as true as it gets. Newcomers, VegasClarke really brought the heat in this one!”
— Tiphani- best selling author of The Millionaire Mistress Series
Chapter Excerpt: SNITCH by VegasClarke 

WARNING: this excerpt is geared toward adult readers. The content is provocative and leads to a very mature discussion.
7:30 am, Drape’s Motorola vibrated on the nightstand loudly.

“What’s the business?” he answered groggily.

“Drape, I have some bad news,” Mr. Goldstein, his lawyer uttered.

He instantly hopped out of bed, lowered the volume on his phone and then walked into the bathroom, caressing himself through his boxers. He didn’t want Diona to hear what was about to be said.  Little did he know, she’d opened one eye as he walked away from the bed.

“What’s da bad news?” Drape asked as butterflies filled his stomach.

“The Feds picked up your case.”

“Don’t tell me dat. Mannnnn, I just got out. How dat happen so fast?”

“They’re here at my office right now.”

“What! Who you workin’ for, ‘dem or me? I can’t believe dis shyt is happenin’!”

Mr. Goldstein assured him that he wouldn’t be arrested if he came to his office, but if he didn’t, a federal arrest warrant would be issued. Drape took a deep breath as he pondered the thought of what could happen when he got there.

“F***  it, I’m on my way,” he said hanging up.

He came out of the bathroom and got dressed quietly as Diona laid in the bed with her eyes closed pretending to be sleep. Once he was dressed, he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek and left. She was barely speaking to him and he was trying his hardest not to upset her anymore.

Drape drove his low-key Honda Accord to his lawyer’s office playing out different scenarios in his head the entire ride. Once he arrived, he drove a block away from Mr. Goldstein’s and parked. He thought it was best to walk the rest of the way just in case they tried to arrest him; knowing he would make a run for it.  As soon as he  walked into Mr. Goldstein’s plush office, his secretary was in the foyer area sitting at her desk. She escorted Drape to the conference room where Mr. Goldstein was expecting him.   

“How are you Ce’sar?” he greeted. “This is Detective Burns from the Second District Police Department. I think you two met before,” Mr. Goldstein announced. 
 
Drape’s thick eyebrows crinkled. Detective Burns looked like the young detective who’d  jumped out of the ambulance on him days before. Drape looked at the ugly keloid scar on Detective Burns’ cheek and thought how demented it made his face look. Burns was a frail looking guy appearing to be in his early twenties. He wondered what could’ve happened to someone so young to make their appearance so abnormal. Drape chuckled inside at the thought of Burns, a rookie, who was way too inexperienced to be dealing with him.
 
“And I’m Agent Lewis from the F.B.I,” another man said, introducing himself. Agent Lewis looked like a hillbilly with blonde hair and blue eyes. “I’m gonna be working with Detective Burns on this case. Mr. Lopez, can I call you Drape?” Lewis asked with a toothpick lodged in between his teeth.

“Yeah, it’s cool.” Drape anxiously waited to hear what the agent had to say.

“By the way, why do they call you Drape?”

Drape smiled. “Because I stay draped in some fly shyt. Now what can I help you with?” 

“That’s funny,” Lewis chuckled, then looked at Burns hoping to get a laugh out of him. He got nothing but a straight face.

 “I’m going to get straight to the point. Help us help you. We got wire taps and surveillance of you at Malik Howard’s house selling him 500 grams of cocaine base crack,” he said.

Agent Lewis exposed Malik to Drape at ease because he knew there was nothing he could do about it. There was no way he could hurt or intimidate him because he was currently in protective custody. They’d taken extra precautions to keep him safe. Without Malik, the dope and the wiretaps weren’t enough to convict Drape. Agent Lewis informed him that he and three of his best friends AKA the Scrilla Boys had been under investigation for the past three months, and they intended on getting them all. 

Drape cursed under his breath, then focused back on his situation. Even though he was sure he could pay off some people to say it wasn’t him, the Feds were good in coercing witnesses.

Drape crossed his arms on the table and let out a sigh as he laid his head down on his muscular arms. He thought silently to himself for a second then raised his head. “What da f*** do y’all want me to do?” he asked as if he’d lost the war.
 
“We want the Scrilla Boys off the streets and we want you to make control buys from them on wire. I don’t care who the drugs get sold to as long as it’s on wire,” Agent Lewis said firmly, and then took a sip of water from the cup in front of him.

Drape’s heart sank. He couldn’t believe they wanted him to rat on his own friends; his boys that he’d known since childhood. The crew who always had his back. He sighed then let out a sign of disgust.

“Naw! I’on think I’ma be able to do dat.’  I can’t be a Snitch!”  He gazed off to the side and fell into a frenzied daze.

Lewis played around with his toothpick again. “Call me after you’ve thought for a couple of days. Your lawyer will inform you on how much time you’re facing.” Agent Lewis handed Drape his card, and then headed for the door with Detective Burns in tow. “You know it’s you or them,” he added.
Instead of responding, Drape turned away.

Mr. Goldstein escorted them to the door as Drape sat defeated, in deep thought. He came back into his office within seconds, and pulled a chair next to him.  “Drape, these charges carry a mandatory minimum of twenty years and a maximum of life in prison. The Feds have a ninety-eight percent conviction rate and with your record, we don’t stand a chance in trial. A plea would still get you at least twenty years or more. It’s your choice. The balls in your court,”  Mr. Goldstein said in a matter of fact tone.
Drape half-listened as he day-dreamed. Finally, he turned his head to his attorney and said, “I’ll call and let you know what I’m gonna do.” 
Mr. Goldstein sighed  “Fine with me. It’s your life.”

(CONTINUES)

 
Purchase Snitch from Life Changing Books
http://www.lifechangingbooks.net

 

Snitch by VegasClarke 
ISBN-10: 1934230766
ISBN-13: 978-1934230763
http://www.amazon.com/Snitch-VegasClarke/dp/1934230766
© 2010 All rights reserved. Book Excerpt Reprinted by Permission of Publisher, Life Changing Books. Do not reproduce, copy or use without the author’s written permission. Copyright infringement is a serious offense. This excerpt is used for promotional purposes only. Share a link to this page or the author’s website if you really like this sample from SNITCH.
About VegasClarke 
Authors, VegasClarke demonstrate that opposites attract.  Vegas entered a life of crime beginning at the age of 13.  Selling drugs was all he came to know which finally landed him a 78-month sentence in the Federal Prison System.  During his incarceration, he was able to cope with his time and mature through writing.  He put his heart into manifesting urban tales, poetry, and songs. He is currently pursuing his degree in Business Administration and working on the sequel to Snitch.  Vegas believes that it is never too late to change his life.  On the other hand, in order to change, one has to be willing to change he often tells his fan base.

Clarke developed a passion for writing while becoming an avid reader of all kinds of fiction.  Once Vegas and Clarke were reunited, they were able to combine Vegas’ street smarts and Clarke’s school smarts, creating literary magic while focusing on real-life realities.  Clarke graduated from Kent State University with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Public Communications Studies with a minor in Pan-African Studies.  Since then she has changed fields and works in Corporate America, where she is working on a Masters in Business Administration. 
VegasClarke spends their time working on future novels while residing in Cleveland, Ohio with their two children.

Readers can contact VegasClarke at: facebook/vegasclarkeauthors, twitter/vegsclarke, website: www.vegasclarke.com and email: vegasclarke@vegasclarke.com or vegasclarke@rocketmail.com.

Excerpt: True Confessions by Electa Rome Parks

True Confessions by Electa Rome Parks

 

Introduction: True Confessions by Electa Rome Parks

Twenty-eight year old Kennedy Logan is gorgeous, educated, talented, and in love. Unfortunately, Drake Collins has other ideas about the true state of their relationship. Kennedy hopes to turn him around; Drake just wants to turn her out sexually. Kennedy is also searching for her biological mother, who gave her up at birth. She wants answers and she has tons of questions. The enormous weight of these predicaments leads to a failed suicide attempt.

Her overprotective and overbearing mother, Dorothy Logan, moves in with Kennedy and makes it her mission to get her daughter’s life back in order. The first step is getting rid of Drake Collins once and for all, but that’s easier said than done. Drake has no intentions of going anywhere. Kennedy’s ever loyal and fun-loving best friend, Taylor, and her absentee father join forces to help support Kennedy in her time of need.

At her psychiatrist’s advice, Kennedy uses writing as her therapy. She starts to keep a daily journal detailing the erotic circumstances and family drama that led up to her despair. Through very personal, funny, and graphic entries, readers will share her confessions. Brace yourselves for a very steamy journey!
                 

Prologue True Confessions by Electa Rome Parks

 My reality is surreal and happens in super, slow motion. A nervous giggle escapes my chapped, dry and parched lips. I lick them to restore moisture. Then, there is utter, deadly silence. If I listen closely, I can hear my heartbeat beating away at an accelerated pace. My senses are heightened and I marvel over the brilliant, bold colors of my bedroom as I inhale my favorite fragrances, from their spot on my antique dresser, colliding into one another with their potent allure. Even my sense of touch is different somehow. Everything is magnified to the nth degree. It’s like I’m looking down at myself from a huge movie screen with surround sound as I ready myself for the big finale—the final shot and then fade to black.
 

I’ve never been good at saying goodbye, even on short, weekend trips. I keep the handwritten note short and sweet and pray to God that mother will understand, and hopefully, one day, forgive me.

I don’t mean to hurt her or cause her any fresh pain. I sincerely don’t. I hope she understands that this isn’t her fault, that I love her with all my heart and being. No matter what, that fact will never change. I’m so thankful and forever grateful that she chose me to be her daughter out of all the orphaned babies in the world. She chose me. I told myself over and over again that that made me special. I needed to feel special instead of unwanted and discarded.

I’ll miss mother the most, but the hurt I feel inside is too unbearable and indescribable. It is too painful for me to continue, day in and day out, with just a hollow emptiness that erodes and corrupts any happiness that briefly surfaces. The dawn of each new day only brings me more heartache and renewed memories. Some memories are like leeches. They latch on for dear life and slowly, ever so slowly, suck and drain all the blood, all the living out of you. You are left with just a shell of the old you and that’s no way to survive. Not for me, anyway.

When they find me, I want it to look like I’m sleeping, peacefully. Just like Sleeping Beauty who only needed a handsome prince to kiss her and awaken her from the darkness that engulfed her. However, for me, there won’t be a handsome, charming prince to wake me, save me, and ride off into eternity. All my so-called princes were monsters in disguise with their own hidden agendas that attempted to crush and stamp out my self-esteem. Yes, just blessed sleep awaits me.

I chose pills. I couldn’t subject mother to a messy, bloody scene that comes with slitting one’s wrists or shooting one’s self. I refuse to take my final breath with that heavy on my heart. I don’t think my heart could handle anything else weighing against it. As it is, I feel like I have three hundred pounds weighing me down. Crushing the life out of me.
 

As I settle myself comfortably on my queen-size bed, slowly pull the red, satin comforter up to my chin and stare at the full bottle of prescription pills carefully nestled in my right hand, I can’t imagine not waking up in the morning.
 

What will it be like to not see the rising sun? To not hear my alarm clock going off announcing it’s time to get ready for another day of work? Not hitting snooze to give myself another fifteen minutes? Not rushing to finish my morning rituals before I dash out the door and into rush-hour traffic? What will that feel like?
 

More important to me now, though, is will it hurt? I hope not. I have never been able to tolerate too much pain, physical, mental or emotional. Yet, that’s what Drake has caused me for the last year of my life. Pain. Intolerable suffering.
 

 I only wanted to love him and for him to love me in return. Simple enough. Was that asking too much? My part of the equation was accomplished, effortless. Drake claimed he loved me, but he really didn’t. Probably never could. Didn’t know how to love or receive it. After what happened last week, I know he didn’t. Yet, I gave him everything: my heart, my body, my soul. Now, I have nothing left to give myself. I’m empty inside.
 

As tears slowly flood my weary eyes and blur my vision, I look around my cozy bedroom for the last time. Ever. It used to be one of my favorite rooms in my small two bedroom, one bath apartment. There was nothing better than lighting several fragrant candles, drinking a little white wine and cozying up with a good romance novel. Yes, that was heaven. Simple things excite me. Always have. Watching a sunrise or sunset, waking up to birds chirping in the treetops, walking hand in hand through the park with the one I love, all these things brought me great joy.
 

Mother will have to understand. I left her a note, propped up on the nightstand, in full view, that explains how much I love her and daddy. What will she think when she can’t reach me tonight? I would love to hear her soothing, loving voice one last time. Yet, I know I wouldn’t be able to go through with my plan if I did. I’d give away my intentions over the phone or mother would pick up on my foul mood and that would be that. I’d wake up another day with this aching, dull pain inside, tearing me apart, bit-by-bit. Pain that dulls and diminishes every ounce of my strength, all the way down to my pores.
 

Drake Collins. His name leaves a bitter taste on my tongue. Just the thought of him brings bile to the back of my throat. I will forever regret the day I met that man. If I could turn back the hands of time, do it all over again, I would have called in sick that day or run for the hills. I was just fine with my life the way it was. Sure, it wasn’t exciting or glamorous, but it was enough for me. Drake came with the charm, movie star looks, glitz and high drama and reeled me right in like a bass caught at sea. I gladly jumped into his net.
 

I say a silent prayer of forgiveness as I place one, then two colorful pills on my tongue and swallow dry. I didn’t think of getting a glass of water. I can’t think. The lump in my throat quickly diminishes. There’s no turning back now. Just like there was no turning back when Drake turned me out. The countdown begins.  Ten, nine, eight. . . I’ve lived a happy life. I have tons of good memories. I’ve treated others the way I wanted to be treated.
 

I hope this happens quickly. I steadfastly place three, four pills on my tongue and swallow again. Hot tears start to spill forth and stream down my cheeks as I realize the final result of my actions. Seven, six, five. . . It’s for the best. I need to stop the pain. Will he even miss me? Or will he just move on to his next victim? Will all this be in vain?
 

I guess I’ll never have that family now. The one I used to daydream and write about in my journal. The family with the almost perfect mommy and daddy and two kids, a boy and girl. The boy would be the oldest, and he’d look out for and protect his younger sister. They’d have cute, adorable names and they’d know they were wanted and loved and cherished by their parents. They’d never feel unwanted.
 
Four, three. . . I swallow a handful of pills this time. I’ve lost count as to how many I’ve digested. As spittle escapes from my mouth, I gag. I wipe the overflow away with the back of my hand and keep right on shoving pills in my mouth until the orange-brown medicine bottle is empty. I look inside, in awe, shake the bottle, and can’t believe the pills are gone so quickly. Just like the illusion of love. If you blink, you’ll miss it.
 
I wonder if Drake even realizes how much I loved him? Now, I wait for blessed relief and peace to take away my hurt and pain. I’m so tired. Tired of loving the wrong men. Tired of giving my all, coming up empty, and getting absolutely nothing back in return. Good sex isn’t the end all to everything. Drake taught me that lesson.

Two, one. . . It won’t be long now. I faintly smile and lay back against my down pillow.

I welcome peace. In my mind, I start silently repeating Psalms 23. I shall walk through the valley of death; I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me. I’m so sleepy. I can barely keep my eyes open. I can feel myself giving in to the fog that slowly invades my mind. Maybe if I close my eyes for a few moments. Yeah, just rest them for a few minutes without seeing Drake’s face behind my heavy eyelids.
 

Suddenly, I feel lightheaded, like I’m floating on a big, fluffy white cloud, bouncing up and down, giddy with not a care in the world. This is a different sensation that I literally reach out my right hand to embrace and never let go of. Not a care in the world. Nothing matters but blessed, uneventful sleep. I close my tired, weary eyes as the countdown ends. Fade to black.

###

True Confessions by Electa Rome Parks

ISBN-10: 1601622392

ISBN-13: 978-1601622396

Purchase from Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/True-Confessions-Electa-Rome-Parks/dp/1601622392

 

 

Purchase from Barnes & Noble.com

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/True-Confessions/Electa-Rome-Parks/e/9781601622396

© 2010 All rights reserved. Book Excerpt Reprinted by Permission of Electa Rome Parks, author. Do not reproduce, copy or use without the author’s written permission. Copyright infringement is a serious offense. This excerpt is used for promotional purposes only. Share a link to this page or the author’s website if you really like this sample from True Confessions.

About the Author

Electa Rome Parks lives outside Atlanta, Georgia and is the best-selling author of six acclaimed novels, The Ties That Bind, Loose Ends, Almost Doesn’t Count, Ladies’ Night Out, These Are My Confessions (anthology) and Diary of a Stalker. Dubbed a “book club favorite,” avid readers have embraced Electa’s true to life characters that tackle prevalent and heavy hitting issues that take them on an emotional roller coaster.

The self-proclaimed Queen of Real, Electa has been a frequent guest on radio shows, nominated for many industry awards and interviewed by numerous newspapers and national magazines. Electa is currently following her passion and working on her next novel and first screenplay.

 

 

Connect with Electa Rome Parks online at:

Email: novelideal@aol.com

Website: http://www.electaromeparks.com/

Facebook: www.facebook.com/electaromeparks

Book Excerpt: One Who Loves You More by Andrea Clinton

Life Knows No Bounds: One Who Loves You More by Andrea Clinton
• Alisa is a money grubbing gold digger who sashays through her days wearing this title like a tiara. Feeling life’s all about the expensive gifts and money a man can give her, Alisa follows the steps of her mentor and basks in the glory of using men, until she stumbles upon Omar.

• Omar is an African American Muslim trying to fight his demons and find his way back to the Islamic life he knew as a child. Distraught over disagreements that divided the Muslim community a decade prior, where many Muslims became victim to inner city chaos, Omar became a product of his environment and is at the head of that chaos.
Tired of hearing her mother rant and rave about her gold digging ways, Alisa decides to take her great grandmother’s advice, “Always get a man who loves you more than you love him.”   Stumbling upon Omar in his brand new Cadillac, Alisa decides to make him her man, or rather, her victim, or will the tables turn?   Hell erupts, splatters like geysers, while skeletons and bones fly out closets in, Life Knows No Bounds, “1 Who Luvs U More.”

Andrea Clinton: What Impact will this book have my readers? Readers will learn about a very overlooked profession on the rise, “Gold Digging.”  They’ll get to see that there’s more than what meets the eye when women toy with men’s emotions and  use them for their hard earned money.

Excerpt from  1 Who Luvs U More
My Plight: Some would say I was ungrateful, and I guess to a degree I was. But more than ungrateful, I was blind, too blind to see straight. Even now I can’t see what it is I should’ve done. I just know what I shouldn’t have done. And I know I wasn’t happy. I was unhappy with myself, with what was going on, and it was the unhappiness that drove me. It drove me to do things, drove me to where I am today, nowhere, with no one. Just sitting here playing the song, I know how it feels to be lonely by Morgana King, in my head, over and over and over again.

I was a mental-mess, and I mucked things up really bad, and now they can’t be fixed. Forgive me if my story’s scrambled, but how else can I tell it when my mind is scrambled. So, when my story sounds twisted, shaky, and unclear at times, just know, so is my mind. Why else would I be sitting here talking to a Greek statue of a white woman with cellulite thighs, barely any clothing and no pupils?  Yes, I’m really messed up in the head, and my nerves are shot. But that’s how it is when you see yourself as a casualty, and the world deems you the antagonist.   ###

RAWSISTAZ Book Review — 4 Stars
“Life Knows No Bounds: 1 Who Loves You More,”  Andrea Clinton’s first installment in the LIFE KNOWS NO BOUNDS chronicles, is a harsh realistic portrayal of urban love and life in mid-1980’s New Jersey. Alisa, a boastful, self-proclaimed gold-digger, finds herself lost in a world of love and conflict as she tries and fails to apply her great-grandmother’s wisdom to her complicated love life.

Alisa is well known in her hood for her selfish, gold-digging ways. Despite aggressive warnings from her family, she has mastered the game of getting a man for everything he has and gracefully moving on to the next. But when she hooks up with Omar, she soon realizes that she has entered into a game that she is ill-equipped to play.

Omar, a young, sexy hustler from around the way, knows what it takes to get Alisa’s attention. He uses his flashy car and genteel manners to lure her in, but he has so much more in store for her. They start a tumultuous love affair that’s riddled with gun fights, jealousy, expensive gifts, explosive arguments, and Alisa’s spoiled rotten attitude. When Alisa’s antics push Omar to the limit as he struggles with the conflict of his religion and his love for her, the future of their relationship is gravely threatened.  “Always get a man who loves you more than you love him”, the powerful last words of her dying great-grandmother which Alisa vowed to follow. When she finally understands the meaning of those words, it may be too late, as she comes dangerously close to losing what she fought so hard to gain.

With Life Knows No Bounds: 1 Who Loves You More, Andrea Clinton has created a dynamic urban love story, decorated with realistic dialogue and hard-hitting pragmatism. The story was compelling and the characters were vibrant. Although Alisa was a spoiled brat with an ugly attitude, I found her to be relatable and worthy of my empathy. I felt Alisa’s and Omar’s struggle until the very end and found myself routing for them despite their flaws and troublesome relationship. Life is no fairytale and Clinton has colorfully portrayed that truth through this novel.  I was able to thoroughly enjoy the read. I recommend this novel for those looking for an explosive urban love story with a realistic perspective. — Reviewed by Guest Reviewer Monique D. Mensah, The RAWSISTAZ™ Reviewers

Author Andrea Clinton

About The Author:
Andrea Clinton is a novelist, poet and essayist, and aspiring screenwriter/filmmaker. As a Montclair State University graduate, she posses’ a degree in English, Film and Journalism. She’s the founder and CEO of the non-profit organization, People Helping People; worked as Editor in Chief of AMISTAD newspaper, New Jersey; and is presently working on a biography and screenplay featuring the life of her uncle George Clinton of Parliament/Funkadelic and the Clinton family.  Visit with Andrea at the Around-The-Way Publishing, LLC website: http://www.aroundthewaypublishing.com/.  To request a complimentary review copy and press kit, or to purchase copies for resale, call: (973) 280-2729. Tear sheets may be sent by email: AroundTheWayPub@aol.com.   ISBN-10: 0981837638

Brought to you by EDC Creations and Black Pearls Magazine. Visit the magazine here: http://www.blackpearlsmagazine.com/

 

 

 

I Need More by Kimberley White

 Meet Multi-Award Winning Author… Kimberley White
Kimberley White resides in metropolitan Detroit where she is a nurse practitioner during the day and a writer of steamy romances at night.  Visit her website at www.kwhitewrite.com.  Write to her at P.O. Box 672 Novi, MI 48376. Email: kwhite_writer@hotmail.com

I Need More by Kimberley White – New Release Blog
http://edcmagazine.blogspot.com/2009/10/all-way-by-kimberley-white.html

I Need More by Kimberley White
Paperback; ISBN-13: 9780758222107; ISBN 10: 0758222106
 

She Has Everything She Wants. . .
Dr. Erika Johnson’s life couldn’t get any better. Her practice is flourishing and her hunk of a husband Brock can’t keep his hands off her–until the day he suddenly leaves her without a word of explanation. Stunned, Erika has no choice but to cobble together a new life on her own. When she serves Brock with divorce papers, Erika is certain he’ll sign them so they can both move on. But that’s when the surprises really begin. . .

Except The Man She Loves…
Brock is sure he did the right thing. All he ever wanted was to bring joy into Erika’s life, not pain and sorrow. But when rumors reach him that Erika is seeing another man, he’s torn between what he thinks is right and what he feels is right. Despite everything, there’s no denying the fierce attraction she and Brock have always shared is burning hotter than ever. And when Erika finally learns Brock’s secret, they must decide if they will face the uncertain future together-or apart. . .
 

Preview Chapters from the book here.
 
Buy the book today!

Meet Author Monique D. Mensah

 

Join Author Monique D. Mensah on a virtual tour…

EDC Creations and the Sankofa Literary Society announces the official virtual book tour of Monique D. Mensah, the award-winning author of the dramatic fiction, Who Is He To You. From September 1 to October 30, 2009, follow Monique D. Mensah on an interesting journey all over the Internet from the comfort of your home. Readers will be intrigued by the intelligent exploration of sensitive issues such as cutting, emotional abuse, depression, and drug-addiction.The first page which is filled with intense emotion and a descriptive setting that pulls the reader right into the scene. This virtual book tour is brought to you by EDC Creations Media Group. To learn more about our virtual tours, visit  www.EDC-Creations.com.

Give the Gift of Knowledge Campaign

EDC Creations announces the launch of the 2009-2010 Give the Gift of Knowledge Campaign, bringing readers and authors together to help improve literacy and change lives through the gift of books. A sincere thank you to all of our tour hosts, wonderful readers and book club members who continue to support us and our authors and business owners. During our travels, we meet so many wonderful people and we look forward to meeting more of you, and getting to know you and providing what you need to satisfy your literary appetite. If you have not done so already, please sign up for our newsletter to stay abreast of new literary events and the latest book news, reviews and author tours. We select 4 newsletter subscribers each week to review newly released books for us. Register here for the  Sunday News from EDC Creations.

Prizes for Bloggers and Reviewers

We offer special gifts for those who support the authors during our Intimate Evening reading series on BAN Radio and to those who respond to the posts! To become eligible to win 1 of 5 copies of Who Is He To You by Monique Mensah, follow author Monique Mensah on her virtual tour and leave comments at the blog stops and interviews. The lucky winners will be announced on EDC Creations’ Black Pearls magazine blog on November 7, 2009!    http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Black-Author-Network

Read Chapter 1 Who Is He To You by Monique Mensah 

How to Join the  Who Is He To You Book Tour

If you would like to follow the Who Is He To You virtual book tour, visit theonline media center frequently at http://www.blackpearlsmagazine.com/moniquemensah.htm  for the tour schedule. Meet her on the sites listed and add your comments or reviews. If you would like to host author Monique Mensah on your site, blog, radio show or magazine, please visit the online media center and select promotional material that will Give the Gift of Knowledge to your network.
 
Thank you all for Giving the Gift of Knowledge! Make sure to check out our bookshelves for gifts and books that change lives!

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Ella Curry, president of EDC Creations
Website: www.edc-creations.com

The Five C’s Of Co-Creation

How To Share Power In A Relationship – The Five C’s Of Co-Creation
By: Paul & Layne Cutright

The evolutionary edge for humanity is sharing power. As a species we are gradually moving from using our power in self-centered adversarial ways to sharing our collective power for the mutual benefit of everyone concerned. We are shifting from a paradigm characterized by me or them to me and them. We are just beginning to tap into the power of co-creation.

It’s going to take more than good intentions for us to pull this one off. We are all going to have to learn to think differently, make new distinctions and include new practices in our business-as-usual routines.

We offer you the 5 C’s of co-creation to help you create a map for your exploration of this new and uncharted territory.

The 5 C’s are commitment, communication, cooperation, collaboration and coordination. If you are intending to create a future with one or more people it’s a good idea to deep the 5C’s in mind and to check in with one another periodically to see if you are taking them into consideration as you progress.

COMMITMENT – Setting your intention. What are we all committed to? Can we all state it succinctly? Does the commitment generate enthusiasm? Does it live in our everyday conversations with one another in some way? Are there any obstacles to honoring the commitment to our fullest ability? How are we dealing with those obstacles? Are we all committed to doing what is in our power to do, to have the co-creative endeavor succeed for everyone concerned?

COMMUNICATION – Creating the environment. As human beings our relationships live in language. What we talk about and how we talk about it determines the emotional climate of our relationships. Is our communication style fostering safety and creativity? Are we communicating readily, honestly, and openly? Are there things we are afraid to discuss that need to be discussed? Are there unspoken emotional undercurrents distracting our attention? Are there any recurrent communication breakdowns and is there a strategy in place so they can be avoided in the future? Does our communication include acknowledgment and gratitude? Are people making requests in order to take care of their own needs and wants? Are we giving effective feedback so we can improve as we go? Are we communicating our unified purpose to others in inspiring and enthusiastic ways?

COOPERATION – The necessary attitude. Are we cooperating? Is our cooperation motivated by an inner passion or is it being forced by fear and the need to go with the flow of others intentions? Are we able to find a common path through adversity or is it every man for him self when the going gets tough? Are there any competing egos vying for the spotlight at the expense of others? Are we clear on the benefits of cooperation in this creative endeavor? What is at risk if we don’t cooperate?

COLLABORATION – Synergizing ideas. Is there an attitude that everyone’s ideas are vital to the whole? Are we able to express our ideas freely without fear of judgment or ridicule? As a group are we asking BIG questions that bring forth the talent of everyone involved and excite our creative impulses? Are we able to engage in possibility thinking, not limited by the past or what has been? Are we skillful in bringing out the best in each other? Is the system in which we are working set up to receive the avalanche of creativity we can generate?

COORDINATION – Synchronizing action. What’s the plan? How are we coordinating our actions in effective and harmonious ways? Do we all have an overview of how all the different parts are working together? Are we clear on individual areas of responsibility and accountability? What are the consequences, if any, for failure to perform? How does time play into to it? Do we have established lines of communication? How often do we need to reevaluate the plan? How often and in what form (phone, meetings, e-mail) do we need to communicate in order to coordinate effectively?

We all play a vital part in the emerging paradigm of co-creation.  Discovering our unique contribution is part of the adventure. We hope that using the 5 C’s will help you better play your part in fulfilling the promise of humanity’s evolutionary potential.

We have found it very helpful to use written agreements that clarify the foundation of the co-creative relationship. These are the ones we like to use and we offer them for your consideration.

Co-Creator Agreements

1. I agree to bring my passion and talent to our collective endeavor.

2. I agree to speak the truth with compassion.

3. I agree to listen deeply and respectfully to others.

4. I agree to be responsible for my own needs, wants and sense of being valued.

5. I agree to acknowledge others generously.

6. I will readily use our predetermined protocol for resolving upsets in a way that fosters personal responsibility and collective harmony.

7. I agree to use mistakes constructively and practice forgiveness when called for.

8. I will strive to maintain trust and affinity and restore them if they are damaged.

9. I agree to turn my complaints into requests and communicate constructively to the person who can do something about it.

10. I will refrain from negative gossip.

11. I agree to manage my agreements with others in responsible and courteous ways.

12. I agree to encourage and be encouraged in bringing out our individual genius.

13. I agree to nurture a soulful connection with my fellow co-creators.

 

About the author:
Paul and Layne Cutright are authors of multiple books. They offer a variety of free relationship resources at their web site http://PaulandLayne.com. Subscribe to their Weekly Relationship Inspiration Program at http://PaulandLayne.com/Inspire and receive their How to Create Successful Relationships e-Course.

Marriage Is A Bond Of Many Dimensions

Marriage Is A Strong Bond Of Many Dimensions
By: James Wallis

There is one association, one relationship where this mask is thrown asunder by most people. There may be some who continue with it, but they are in a minority. This is the relationship of marriage. Not only is it the oldest relation that man has built it is also the foundation of human society.

Marriage

Marriage is the foundation stone or the first building block of what we refer to as society. All other human relationships revolve around it. Thus it is marriage which leads to parenthood, brings uncles and aunts into the picture besides the other obvious relationships of grandparents, cousins, nephews and nieces etc.

Marriage is what gives us the family which is the next building block of every society. It is considered to be the most sacred of all human institutions and every religion in the world has sanctified it through the ages. In spite of all differences of race, language, religion and region, marriage is one common factor amongst all the facets of mankind.

Durability of Marriage

Marriage has survived all upheavals in the history of mankind. Kingdoms and nation states were established and destroyed. New religions were established. Even the ever-changing trends of fashion have come and gone. Human ideologies have been established and destroyed but the institution of marriage has remained intact.

Marriage continues to be a milestone in the lives of millions of men and women across the globe. It is the dream of every little girl to end up in the arms of her prince charming and the longing or fantasy of every boy to marry the most beautiful girl in the world. The urge to marry is something that begins even when a person is in nascent stages of growth.

Reasons for the Durability of Marriage

Several reasons can be attributed to the fact of marriage having survived as an institution through the ages.

Intimacy: No other relationship can provide the levels of intimacy as are available in the institution of marriage. This intimacy can transcend the physical and emotional planes and be so great that in given cases it may even seem to be spiritual in nature.

Emotional Intimacy: The intimacy enjoyed in marriage can easily spread to varied aspects of one’s emotional well being. The spouse is a shoulder that is always there for the partner to lean upon. No other relationship can give the kind and amount of emotional succour that one can find in marriage.

Physical Intimacy: The level of physical intimacy that can be enjoyed in marriage is not easily available outside this relationship. In fact for a large number of people marriage is the first relationship in which they can develop intimate physical bonding. Celibacy before marriage is considered to be of great importance in several cultures and is cherished by those who espouse it.

Social Status: Marriage conjoins the social standing of the two partners. Their social circles become one and they develop common friends. An invite to one partner is automatically extended to the other spouse also. All social functions are common for them and they are deemed to be one in every societal aspect. This is but an obvious result of the above stated fact that marriage is the first building block of human society.

Legal Aspects: In legal parlance a husband and wife are taken to be one for all social purposes. The law gives such importance to marriage that in most countries and cultures the dissolution of marriage involves lengthy and cumbersome process. This process is referred to as divorce. In case of divorce proceedings, varied aspects such as the custody of children, division of marital assets, maintenance, are taken into consideration.

Parenthood In today’s day and age, single parent families are seemingly becoming the norm. This may be because of divorce or children being born out of the wedlock. However even today, marriage signifies the beginning of a family. Since ages marriages have led to parenthood. This opens up a new window altogether for the couple and can bring them closer than ever before.

Growth: A marriage provides social stability to a person. It can stabilise an individual in numerous ways and be the beginning of a new chapter in his or her life. The avenues for social and personal growth in marriage can be manifold.

 

About the author:
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com

How Do I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back

How Do I Get My Ex Boyfriend Back – 3 Important Tips You Must Know!
By: John Purden

Men are usually deep in emotions. They do not express well there feelings that is why they are often misunderstood. It is always painful in the part of girls when there boyfriend leave them with no particular reason, or if they had it is not sometime reasonable. How do I get my ex boyfriend back – the answer is by understanding men in nature. Through understanding how they feel and think about relationship could give you a good strategic plan.

How do I get my ex boyfriend back? It is easy. Just learn the three important tips on it.

First, how do I get my ex boyfriend back? Enjoy yourself first. Breaking up will give you mixed emotions. So it is helpful if you enjoy first and take time to relax instead of thinking always about the guy and how it ended up. Enjoying your life can give a good aura, wherein you will grow to another person, a glow in your face that will renew yourself. It is important that you will take good care of yourself first because sometimes worrying this much will lower your self-esteem and there is tendency that you will be ignored by your ex-boyfriend. So let him see that you are coping up or recovering well from your break up.

When you finally unwind and are ready to face what you really want, then it is important to keep in touch with him. Even the break up caused you a miserable feeling, the burning desire of yours to be together with him is what really matters. But of course, take it step-be-step until your ex-boyfriend realize that she needs you again.

Second, how do I get my ex boyfriend back? Be tough and flexible. By being tough you can decide properly. If you want your ex boyfriend to be back to you then be strong. Be strong in giving him the space that he wants for the meantime. Be flexible in dealing with your ex-boyfriend. Sometimes because of the desperation of winning him back, there is a tendency to be submissive. You can be over ruled by your emotions. Instead be tough and flexible. Know what is necessary and what is not.

Third, how do I get my ex boyfriend back? By being friend a friend him. The break up may be painful but there are still reasons for that to patch up. Being friend with him does not mean taking advantage of him to respond immediately to your feelings. But instead being friend with him means that you had accepted the whole scenario that you are not together in the picture. You are no longer a couple but instead two good friends. This may take a lot of time to accept but in this way being friend with him is one way showing to him that you are there for him.

The unstable emotions of men make them distant from their true feelings. Sometimes men need to open up their emotion to someone to be able also to understand how painful they are going through. Stopping themselves from crying or by hiding their true feelings, it becomes more difficult for them. so by being there with him, listening, it can be an advantage of winning him back.

 

About the author:
Want to learn the secret to how to get girl? Get free access to learn the exact secret on how to get your ex back quick, no matter how impossible your situation seems. Go to http://www.GetYourExBackInstantly.com NOW!

Separating Love Fiction From Love Fact

Seven Urban Love Legends: Separating Love Fiction From Love Fact

By: Dr. Diana Kirschner

When it comes to dating and love relationships there are certain “love facts” that most everyone believes. But, surprisingly, if we look at the actual research about these “love facts” we may find that they are not facts at all. They are fictions, myths. This is key information for anyone who is interested in creating a great love relationship; separating love fiction from love fact makes you an informed “consumer” when it comes to your dating and love life.

Here are seven of these mythic urban love legends and what the research actually shows us to be true about them.

 

Myth

1. The divorce rate in the country is 50%

Fact: It’s never been 50%. It’s actually 41%. The odds are better than you think. And a college education decreases the likelihood of divorce. This is shown by more sophisticated research.

Myth

2. You have one soul mate and meeting that “One” is the key to finding love.

Fact: Research shows that love and marriage take hard work, including commitment, positive communication, and the ability to resolve fights. The best relationship advice I can give you is that you need to work on yourself and choose someone, a good friend with chemistry, who’s willing to grow with you. These are the keys to a happy marriage. Sorry, no fairy tale.

Myth

3. When you are married fighting is an unhealthy thing.

Fact: Couples who suppress their anger have a mortality rate that is twice as high as those in which one partner stands up for him/herself. Fighting with your spouse and then resolving differences is a healthy thing.

Myth

4. Living with a boyfriend/girlfriend gives you a better sense of who your partner is and will make for a stronger marriage down the road.

Fact: Couples who have not lived together before marriage have healthier and more successful marriages. They also have less conflict, less abuse and are less likely to get divorced than couples who live together before marriage. However, a more recent study shows that couples who have committed to be married and live together do have a 28% decreased risk of getting divorced.

Myth

5. On the online dating websites the majority of men are lying about themselves.

Fact: Independent research shows that the number is only about 20%. Common lies concern income, profession, age, marital status and weight.

Myth

6. It’s better to wait until you’re more mature and get married in your thirties rather than your twenties.

Fact: People who marry after their mid twenties just as likely to get divorced and surprisingly are much more likely to have a poor quality marriage than those who married earlier.

Myth

7. Choosing marriage means more stress and financial drain in your life.

Fact: Married people are healthier emotionally and physically and they have more wealth too. Study after study has shown that love relationships have a huge impact on our psychological, economic, and physical well-being. Having a life partner can create a higher sense of self-worth, provide intimacy and emotional support which fulfills the deepest human need for connection, and lead to greater wealth and economic stability.

As a result, married people may be happier, live more satisfying lives, and have fewer psychological problems, including depression. Many researchers say that these factors lead to better physical health, greater health-seeking behavior, and lower rates of alcoholism. Here’s the big take-away: for over 100 years studies around the world have shown that married people live longer and enjoy a higher quality of life than those who aren’t partnered!

You can learn much more about urban legends and the latest research on love and dating in my new book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love.

About the author:

For 25+ years Dr. Diana Kirschner has helped thousands of single women find love. Her acclaimed new book is Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love. For her etips, blog, dating articles, daily affirmations & discussion forum http://www.lovein90days.com

EROTICA vs PORN: What is the difference? :PASSIONSCAPE by Hazel Mills

As an author or erotica, I am often asked about the differences between pornography and erotica. I believe that this article really hits on some key differences.

EROTICA IS MORE THAN PORN

By Roxanne Rhoads, published Oct 21, 2007

Erotica is so much more than just porn though it is an ongoing debate. Some people see anything sexual as

dirty. That it is all pornographic. There is a difference though sometimes there is a fine line between the two

and like anything else it’s all in the eyes of the beholder.

I found the wonderful world of erotica when I returned to the writing world after a long absence. I was

struggling to find a place in the industry and a niche that I enjoyed when I came across erotica. Previously I

did not know there was a whole world of erotica both in print and online that caters mainly to women.

Once I found it, I was hooked. I have discovered that I love both reading and writing erotica. I have to thank Gracie and all the others at Tit-elation.com for accepting and publishing the first erotic story I ever wrote (which were followed by many more and later I became an editor at Tit-elation too). They gave me the confidence I needed when I first started out. I kept writing more and more and soon I had erotic poems and stories all over the web, in a couple anthologies and in Playgirl Magazine.

I am often asked by family and friends why I write “porn”. For one I’m a very sexual person and it seemed a natural course for my writing to take a turn into the area of sex and sexuality but I have to explain to everyone that I believe there is a difference between porn and erotica. I know some view anything sexual as smut or porn while others can relish the differences between them and all the areas in between.

To me porn is usually visual and geared towards men. Its sole purpose is to physically arouse and stimulate. I have nothing against porn, it serves its purpose, but erotica goes much deeper. Erotica appeals more to women and is often written by and for women even though there are both male and female writers and readers.

To me erotica can be much more real, while porn is often very unrealistic. Erotica can also tell a more complete story. If you read a regular novel about a married couple or a couple in love, it does not tell the whole story of their relationship because the sex scenes are often omitted or glossed over. In erotica you can get the whole story including the steamy sex scenes. Erotica stimulates the mind and the body, arousing emotions and the imagination.

I love to picture the characters and see them in my mind, watch the stories take shape and unfold. With porn it is all laid out, no imagination involved unless you take the time to imagine yourself in the scene. Erotica often has more depth with characters that are more realistic. It is more than just sex; it can be emotional, complicated, frivolous, fantasy filled, funny, sexy or serious. Erotica can be very diverse, as diverse as the authors who write it.

You can find stories that fit into many categories and many themes. You’ll find stories of love and passion, stories of submission, role playing, historical erotica, supernatural erotica and much more. Erotica comes in every color, size and flavor from mild to wild from vanilla sex to BDSM and much more. You can find paranormal erotica, sci-fi erotica, fantasy erotica and every day real world erotica. There’s something for everyone and it is so much more than just porn.

Article by Roxanne Rhoads for Associated Content

Hazel Mills

www.hazelmillsstories.com

October is an important Awareness Month

The month October touches on two very important issues. October is Domestic Violence Awareness and also National Breast Cancer Awareness. Domestic Violence is represented by the purple ribbon and Breast Cancer is represented by the pink ribbon. Are you or someone you loved affected by either?

 

Breast Cancer

2.3 million women in the United States are living with a breast cancer diagnosis. It’s a scary thing. Anyone regardless of age or race can be affected. It’s important to have regular annual checkouts and more if you have a relative or family member who’s been affected by breast Cancer. Early detective is so important.

 

Reach out to your family and friends for support and get the facts. Surround yourself by people who love you and reach out to cancer survivors.  

 

RESOURCES:
National Breast Cancer Awareness Month
www.nbcam.org

 

American Cancer Society
Resource Link:
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/CRI/content/CRI_2_6x_National_Breast_Cancer_Awareness_Month.asp 

———————– 

Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence shouldn’t happen to anyone. Don’t settle and never feel you are not worthy of a violence-free environment. Domestic violence goes undetected behind closed doors way too often. Usually the woman or man is embarrassed that it is taken place, they are scared, and they believe or at least hope everything will get better. 

 

“Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime.”

“Nearly one-third of American women (31 percent) report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives.”

 

Both statistics were taken from http://endabuse.org/resources/facts/

 

Know that you have options and there are support groups. Don’t allow yourself and your children to continue to live in an unsafe environment. You are worthy of a better life – we all are.

 

RESOURCES:

Domestic Violence

http://www.domesticviolence.org/

 

The National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233 (Call within any 50 states. Help is available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year)
http://www.ndvh.org/

 

Article written by Author, Writer and Poet.
Tinisha Nicole Johnson
Visit the author at her site to learn more:
www.TinishaNicoleJohnson.com

PassionScape by Hazel Mills: Is Monogomy An Unrealistic Expectation?

September greetings,

You know, it seems that more often than not, we hear of relationships vanishing because one or both of the partners are seeking love and affection elsewhere. Nowadays, celebrity break-ups due to infidelity are the norm. We even take bets on how long the marriage will last from the moment we get wind of the news. Sadly, this does not only apply to celebs. The same is true for everyday joes. What happened to the sanctity of the once honorable institution of marriage?

PassionScape poses the question: Is monogomy an unrealistic expectation? All month long, you will hear from some of today’s most talented authors and poets on this issue.

Author NANETTE BUCHANAN:

It is my belief that no one who truly loves is expecting anything other than a monogamous relationship.
Anyone Who Loves

Anyone who truly loves, loves with their heart and soul
Loves totally, it never grows old.
Anyone who truly loves, knows from the very start
Of all the ups and downs
Of how love can be turned around
Of how true love is hard to be found
Anyone who truly loves, gives of themselves unselfishly.
Putting their wants and desires behind those they love
Praying to God above,
for patience and understanding
and support for that undying love.
Anyone who truly loves
learns not to break, just bend
Learns who they love are also friends and will remain to the end.
Anyone who truly loves
will hurt from time to time
Looking for the signs of total peace of mind
Anyone who truly loves
will look back on the past
realizing that true love will last

For to understand true love
Is a life long task.

Copyright 2000
Thoughts & Reflections
Author Nanette M. Buchanan
visit my site: www.myspace.com/ipendesigns
                    ipendesigns.blogspot.com

 

AUTHOR TINISHA NICOLE JOHNSON:

In this day and age, the question makes you wonder, it makes you ponder on if a man can stay true and not run astray from his woman, thinking that the grass is greener on the other side, and if a woman can stick by her man faithfully. I believe less people are getting married and more seemed to be getting a divorce or separation. We are in a different era of lifestyle, personality, control and obsession. There is a lot of temptation in the world. And in the twenty-first century where more and more of us our are gaining our individual independence, networking more, socializing more, running our own business and even working more, this adds to the stress and sometimes lessens our priority on maintaining and keeping up with a healthy relationship.
 
What ever happened to true love? What ever happened to black love? Is it unrealistic to think black love is slim to none and that staying monogamous is nil? Sometimes it really does make me wonder.
 
But back to the point – If a man and woman care about each other, I mean truly love and find passion in each other than I would say monogamy is realistic. But honestly, I’m going to tell you what I really think. I think monogamy is even more realistic if you put God and prayer in your life and in your relationship. Without God in a relationship it just leaves too much room for Satan to enter and cause disruption and confusion. So there has to be some type of spiritual connection and then yes, I believe monogamy is realistic.
 

Tinisha Nicole Johnson
Author, Writer and Poet
http://www.TinishaNicoleJohnson.com

How Far Will You Go For Sexual Satisfaction? PassionScape by Hazel Mills

Today there are so many products on the market to enhance our sexuality. We are all familiar with vibrators ans dildos. No matter what network we watch the “Viva Viagra” commercial runs ad nauseam. There are also advertisements for various pills and creams that claim to make that all-important male organ bigger.

Recently, I’ve learned about something that has me intrigued. Apparently, there is a product that claims to “re-virginate” women. According to my sources, this gel tightens the vagina thus providing that “first time” experience as many times as you want.

After further research, I’ve also learned about a cosmetic procedure of sorts called a hymenoplasty. This surgical method restores the hymen to its original state and is widely performed for religious or social reasons. What happened to good old- fashioned Kegal exercises?

How many women can actually look back on their first sexual experience and say to themselves, “I want to do that again and again and again and….”?

Okay, now I want to hear from you.

Is the hymenoplasty a case of our addiction to reconstructive surgery gone too far?

Ladies, would you consider using a tightening gel or surgery to enhance your sexual experiences?

Men, does having a “tighter” experience turn you on more?

 

I look forward to hearing your comments.

 

Until then…peace,

Hazel Mills, author of the 2008 African American Literary Award Show nominated “Bare Necessities: Sensuous Tales of Passion” for Best Erotica

Cast your ballot at www.hazelmillsstories.com

A Case for Assimilation or Separatism

Minority cultures often struggle between losing themselves in assimilation or alienating their communities with acts that suggest separatism. The majority of society assumes that their rituals, morals and traditions should predominate because in terms of sheer numbers they dominate.  As a result, we have a historical discourse that features people of color as a footnote to the generational advancements of this society.

 

While race relations have improved compared to the experiences of our ancestors, prejudice and intolerance is a rippling undercurrent that taints our relationships and our social interactions, regardless of ethnic background. This state of existence is felt and read about in every sector of life.. It is a source of entertainment, ridicule and violence.
Most recently, I find myself bombarded by this as I interact in my romantic literary circles. In April, I attended two writers’ conferences. At the first one, I was a minority face in the crowd. Many of the reactions I received in response to my multicultural/interracial platform were, “That’s actually cool,” and “That’s interesting.”  However, meeting an editor and a reader grateful for my platform made the time and money I spent worthwhile. The second conference I attended that month was Romance Slam Jam, an African American romance writer’s conference. I felt like one of the girls in this crowd. It was nice to meet others who wrote interracial and multicultural romance as well as many talented women who wrote strictly African American romantic fiction. It allowed me to enhance the relationships I had been forming with many of these women online.

 

The separatism and assimilation question came up when I got back from Slam Jam. When I went to my local Romance Writers of America meeting, I reconnected with a few women who had been absent from the most recent meetings. I reluctantly told them about Slam Jam. They had no idea what I was talking about. The women, one Caucasian and the other Hispanic, listened with mild interest.  The woman of Hispanic decent began to show a growing interest as she asked if you had to be Black to attend. To be honest the question took me off guard because it highlighted the reason for my reluctance to discuss it in the first place. Of course, you don’t have to be Black to attend, but it is a natural presumption that non-Blacks make. I’m not sure if it’s because they think we don’t want them involved or if it’s because they don’t really have an interest in being involved. Yet, it is expected that we want to be a part of whatever it is they are doing. In reality, we have fought long and hard to be included. However, the existence of separate but equal activities and organizations makes me wonder if our struggle has more to do with equal opportunity, respect for our culture and our existence as human beings rather than truly being involved in the activities of the majority. Many members of the majority say, “See, they are being separatist. They want us to include them but then they create their own organizations.” This was never been clearer to me than when I stumbled upon the debate over the Black National Anthem. African Americans on the blog condemned it for perpetuating separatism. Many Caucasian bloggers agreed, stating this is America and a Black National Anthem was disrespectful. So much for being a melting pot of ideas. Can we be a part of the majority and still claim some things as our very own?

 

This notion confronted me again when I picked up the latest RWA Romance Writers’ Report. In this issue, there was a quarter-page announcement for the recipients of the Emma Awards that took place at Romance Slam Jam. There was no information about the conference or the history behind the awards. The announcement also came three months after the awards ceremony, despite the fact that there were RWA representatives at the conference. Please note the Romance Writers’ Report, RWA’s industry member magazine, is published monthly. Hey, I guess better late than never, maybe they have really long lead times. There was also a very interesting interview about the experience of multicultural authors in the romance writing industry. It indirectly spoke to the idea of assimilation and separatism when famed author Beverly Jenkins spoke of the emergence of African American romance novels. It was clear that the publishing industry didn’t think black female dollars were significant enough to warrant a book line catering to the life and loves of African Americans. Nor did they think it was necessary, after all black women have been reading about white love stories for ages. Isn’t the point of these novels to provide fantasies and a glimpse into the lives we couldn’t possibly have the chance of living ourselves?

 

These occurrences have lead me to realize that my multicultural platform is more than about people of differing cultures and persuasions living, loving and interacting with one another. I don’t desire to create a fondue pot where the contents melt to create a blended product, but a crock-pot where all the ingredients of the stew are still distinct but the different textures compliment and coexist together.

The Feminization of the African American Male

I did a show on the Feminization of the African American Male. During my research I found this article. It was very intriguing. The article paints a dark picture regarding the future relations of African American males and females.

My question is, when will men stop blaming everyone and everything else for their inability to succeed. We all know that race relations are still very strained in our country. We also know that African Americans must work twice as hard to achieve. However, having said this, many of our men are not “working” at all. Instead they opt to use “the white man holdin’ me down” mentality.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are many brothers out there who are doin’ their thing, but many more of them are not. This is why we have so many single parent households, jail cells fuller that college campuses, and overall degradation of the African American family.

I personally know men who are well in their sixties and still don’t know what they want to be when they grow up. When they were in their 40’s and 50’s, their 70+ mother was hunting them down in alley ways like children. What’s up with that. These same “men” have to turn to their younger family counterparts for handouts. This is not the way it should be. When is enough enough!

To say that the white man brought drugs and guns into our neighborhoods is one thing, but when did they hold the gun to our heads and make us use them?

As an African American women, I live for the day when all of our men take a stand for our children, our families, and our communities.

Read the article below and leave any comments you may have. God Bless.

What’s love got to do with it?

Why Oprah’s still single – society and opportunities for African American people – Brief Article

Paul Offner

TAMA MATTOCKS IS A LIVELY, ARTICulate 42-year-old African-American woman who lobbies for a healthcare association in Washington, D.C. A native of Detroit, she attended Wayne State University before pursuing a doctorate in anthropology at the University of Wisconsin at Madison. Stopping just short of getting her degree, she went to work for a state assemblyman, whom she accompanied to Washington in 1992 when he was elected to Congress.

Madison was home to few blacks, so social opportunities were limited. Washington would be different, Mattocks thought, with its sizable black professional class, but it hasn’t worked out that way. Interesting, eligible men have been few and far between. Some of the men she’s met have little interest in working, preferring to seek out women who will support them–“a rag-head on your couch,” she calls them, conjuring up images of the lead character in Baby Boy, John Singletons story of a seductive predator who lives off his girlfriends. On one occasion, the congressman even arranged a blind date, but nothing became of it. “Maybe you should join a bowling club,” one friend suggested half-jokingly. “The pain of being alone is so great that you go into denial,” says Mattocks, “so you can get up and go to work the next day” Most of her friends have given up thoughts of marriage.

Mattocks’s experience is not unusual. Just look at any African-American publication. “Are professional black women losing in the dating game?” asks Jet, the popular African-American news magazine. “Within their own ethnic group, sisters find slim pickings,” reports the San Francisco Sun Reporter. “Most of us don’t even come in contact with single, middle-class males,” laments a professional woman in the Memphis Tri-State Defender. This struggle was captured in Terry McMillan’s bestselling novel, Waiting to Exhale, which later became a movie starring Whitney Houston and Angela Bassett. Its success came as no surprise to its target audience. “It is so popular,” Sherry Smith told the Philadelphia Tribune, “because there are so many single females out there trying to find a good male.”

This is something new within the African-American community. Over the last generation, most of the problems taking center stage involved such matters as single-parent families, welfare dependency, and the feminization of poverty. But here’s a problem affecting relatively successful African Americans. The number of well-educated, professional women is multiplying rapidly; but the number of similarly situated black men is not. In fact, as black women advance, black men are falling further and further behind. It’s not a subject that black leaders like to address, but it’s a hot topic in African-American periodicals, where professional women complain bitterly about the difficulty of finding suitable mates.

Lonely At The Top

African Americans have made great strides in the area of education over the last 20 years. The percentage graduating from high school has increased by more than one quarter, and the percentage enrolling in college is up 44 percent. African Americans still trail whites in both areas, but at least the numbers are moving, in the right direction.

Unfortunately, nearly all the improvement in college enrollment has been among black women, who now receive twice as many college degrees as black men. The number of black men graduating from college today has barely budged from where it was 20 years ago.

Nationally, college women outnumber men among all racial groups. But the imbalance is much greater among African Americans. Black women earn twice as many master’s degrees, 50 percent more PhDs, and 50 percent more degrees in law, medicine, and dentistry. What’s more, the gap is widening. If current trends continue, 20 years from now black women attending college will outnumber their male counterparts by three to one.

Already, black women are getting most of the good jobs. A half-century ago, women filled about a quarter of the management and administrative positions held by blacks; today, they fill just under 60 percent. According to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, the imbalance is even greater in larger firms, where black professional women outnumber men by two to one. Of course, African-American women are not alone in terms of professional advancement. Happily, women of all races have increased their share of college enrollments and management jobs over the last 40 years. But there is one important difference: Among whites and Hispanics, men are still far ahead.

Currently, these changes affect a relatively small number of people–most black female workers are still concentrated in low-paying jobs and are paid, on average, less than either white women or black men. But the assessment of Harvard sociology professor Orlando Patterson seems apt: African-American women are now “poised to assume leadership in almost all areas of the Afro-American community and to outperform Afro-American men at middle-and upper-class levels of the wider society and economy?” What we’re witnessing, in other words, could be called the feminization of the African-American elite.

Slim Pickings

In the realm of dating, this creates what must be a frustrating situation for many single women. They are told to expand their search to include less-educated men, younger men, and older men. (In How Stella Got Her Groove Back, another McMillan novel, the heroine finds happiness with a man 20 years her junior). A recent issue of the Tri-State Defender summed up the frustration of a college-educated woman whose friends counseled her to seek out blue-collar men. “Why are we told to marry down?” she wonders. “I want to be in a relationship with someone who is an equal in every way.”

What is remarkable, though, is how many women are marrying down. More than half of black female college graduates are married to men who don’t have degrees (for whites, the figure is 31 percent). Four percent are married to men who haven’t even graduated from high school. For a few, there is the inter-marriage option. Although black intermarriage has traditionally been rare, that is beginning to change. But it only worsens the imbalance, since black men are much more likely than black women to marry people of other races.

For other educated black women, the choices are few. Says Walter Farrell, a University of Wisconsin professor who has studied the subject, “The more prominent the successful black woman becomes, the greater the chance she will end up alone.” As a result, professional black women are having fewer children, which means that a growing percentage of black children are being born into less educated, less affluent families.

Women’s Work

A number of explanations have been offered for why black women are doing so much better than black men. Some focus on female upbringing. “Historically, in the matriarchal Negro society,” writes former Urban League President Whitney Young, “mothers made sure that if one of their children had a chance for higher education, the daughter was the one to pursue it.” The goal was to spare her from a lifetime of domestic work. In 1940, 60 percent of employed black women worked as domestics, while another 11 percent were farm laborers, with the result that on average black women earned 38 percent as much as white women. World War II changed that by opening up new opportunities in offices and factories. By 1980, only 6 percent worked as domestics, and black women’s earnings were roughly on a par with whites.

For black men, however, things didn’t go as well. Although they made just under half as much as white men in 1940, at least they had access to the well-paying manufacturing jobs that dominated urban labor markets at that time. During the ’60s and early ’70s, their wages rose relative to white men’s, but this progress stopped when many manufacturing firms abandoned urban centers. By 1980, black men earned 26 percent less than their white counterparts, and a good case could be made that it Was they, not the women, who most needed help.

In other words, at a time when domestic labor was the predominant form of work among black women, they attended college at the same rate as the men. Later on, when fewer and fewer women worked as domestics, the women’s college attendance soared. On balance, then, it is hard to see how the parental interest in having their daughters avoid domestic work can explain the gender gap in college enrollments.

An alternative explanation focuses on the boys and the harm allegedly done to them by the weakening of the African-American family. Former Senator Daniel Pat Moynihan (D-NY) famously made this argument in his 1965 report on the Negro family. Many black leaders criticized the report for “blaming the victim,” even though Moynihan clearly placed the blame on this nation’s unemployment record and discriminatory history. In any event, his analysis proved prophetic. While a quarter of African-American families were headed by single women in the year Moynihan issued his report, today that fraction has more than doubled to reach 56 percent.

But the argument that single-parent families disproportionately hurt boys is suspect. Girls may not be going to jail in large numbers, but they face their own considerable problems, such as out-of-wedlock childbirth. Today, fully half of black women between the ages of 20 and 24 have children, which most raise on their own. Sociologists Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandefur, authors of the authoritative Growing Up with a Single Parent, make a convincing case that girls, not boys, are most damaged by the absence of a parent. Yet, despite these significant obstacles, young black women are attending college in record number.

Another explanation involves what Brookings Institution scholar Joyce Ladner calls the “demonization” of young black males and the adoption of stricter policies toward their antisocial behavior. Today, a disproportionate number of black boys are labeled as hyperactive, prescribed medications such as Ritalin, and assigned to special education classes. Many end up in jail. In 2000, more than one in 10 African-American males between the ages of 25 and 29 were incarcerated (among high school dropouts, more than one in three). Moreover, high black crime rates have done more than just reduce college enrollments. When businesses feel compelled to hire more African Americans, writes Andrew Hacker, they generally pick women because they find them less threatening.

Mars vs. Venus

“Unless unforeseen social forces reverse current trends,” writes sociologist Robert Staples, “the future is likely to bring one of the first cases in history where women have achieved superiority over men in the vital areas of education, occupation, and income.” While few people would dispute Staples’s point as it pertains to blacks, there is disagreement over what it signifies. For instance, Robert Hill, author of The Strengths of Black Families, doubts that much will change and cites the example of the black church: Women are in the majority, they head up most of the church clubs and contribute most of the money, yet men make most of the decisions. On the other hand, success in the American economy today is increasingly associated with specialized knowledge and skills, and African-American women have the clear advantage there.

Indeed, they may have too much of an advantage. College-educated women want to find men with similar backgrounds, and the shortage of college-educated men rules that out for many of them. As the education gap widens in the future, marriage rates will continue to drop. More and more of these women will remain childless, and a growing proportion of black children will be born into poor single-parent families, with all the disadvantages attendant on that fact.

Oddly, current government policy may actually be adding to the problem. In an effort to increase welfare recipients’ long-term self-sufficiency, 22 states now help welfare mothers attend college, a form of assistance largely unavailable to the fathers, most of whom are not on welfare.

As it happens, the current round of welfare reform just underway in Washington includes a major campaign to raise marriage rates. Conservatives would like to provide pro-marriage education to children in school and give states financial rewards for increasing marriage rates and reducing divorce. Robert Rector of the conservative Heritage Foundation even favors bonuses for at-risk women who avoid getting pregnant until they are married. The only problem is that no one knows how to increase marriage, and the little we do know suggests that it’s not as simple as handing out bonuses to young women who put off child-bearing.

One promising place to start would be increasing the rate of college attendance among African-American men. This will require reexamining many of our education policies, such as the way we deal with boys who act up in school and those who are involved with drugs. Currently 400,000 individuals–mostly young black men–are behind bars on drug charges. One and a half times as many black men are in prison as in college. When they get out, most of them will have trouble finding steady work, and thus becoming reliable fathers to their children. Four years ago, Congress enacted legislation denying college financial aid to anyone convicted of a drug offense, which can only make such matters worse.

But if significant progress is to be made in this area, the African-American community will have to take the lead. And therein lies the problem. The relative position of men and women has always been controversial among blacks, which means that there is no consensus on the nature of the problem or what should be done about it. “There is a crisis in nearly all aspects of gender relations,” writes Orlando Patterson, “and it is getting worse” In this environment, there is a danger that the higher-education gender gap will be airbrushed over, lest it become an embarrassment to the African-American community.

Black organizations such as the National Urban League and the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People have never much involved themselves in welfare reform, preferring to let the states and welfare advocacy groups take the lead. But there is no one else to go to bat for black men. Nor can anyone else hope to resolve the gender issues that divide African Americans today. Without pressure from black leaders, the likelihood is that nothing will be done, and that would be a disaster for both the black community and the nation.

PAUL OFFNER is a professor at Georgetown’s Public Policy Institute.

COPYRIGHT 2002 Washington Monthly Company
COPYRIGHT 2002 Gale Group

Set your bed on fire: PassionScape by Hazel Mills

Check out my recently published content on AC:
<br> <a href=”http://www.associat edcontent. com/article/ 818019/heating_ up_a_relationshi p_how_to_ set.html”>Heating Up a Relationship: How to Set Sparks in the Bedroom</a>

 

2008 Prom Pictures-Are You Laughing or Crying

Here’s my opinion. We (parents and the adult society) accepted the rules of those who didn’t have or never had children years ago. Today we are reaping what we’ve sown. I by all means do not agree that we all fit into this category but enough of us do. Bear with my thought. There was a time when schools held account to everything that went on with our children in school including attendance and discipline. Yes, there were cases of abuse reported and for that we allowed the court system to make the rules that governed not only discipline in the schools but in the home, the church and just about everywhere. Children are literally hands off. Today due to years of this type ruling there are no rules for them to abide to. They say anything, wear anything, and do anything to everyone. The parents can’t control them in the homes, they don’t control them in the school and we don’t let them and church is a fairy tale in the homes where there is more fear of the system then fear of losing the child.<br style=”display:none”/><br />
You might ask yourself what am I saying. When we as parents neglect to monitor our children in the home we assist in the failure of their growth and productivity. This is what these prom pictures present. What parent monitored them in the home? I knew what my daughter’s gown was going to look like. I paid for it so of course I knew what was being made. When we as parents don’t monitor them in the schools we assist in the failure of their growth and productivity. When we go to the school and threaten to beat, cuss, and abuse the very people that are hired to educate and monitor our children. Threaten them with violence. The same violence our children display. Why would we expect them to stop them from wearing the gowns or outfits we let them leave from home in. We want everyone else to be responsible for the children we are the parents of. As a teacher why should they look out for our children when we neglect to look out for them. Yes they look like they’re going to a pimp’s ball. What do they look up to in the video’s? What are the women wearing, how are the men treating them, and what do they see in the movies, the streets and in some of their homes.<br style=”display:none”/><br />

You reap what you sow!!!! What’s your comment?

Nanette M. Buchanan
Author, Family Secrets….Lies & Alibi’s

Someone Called Him “Nigga”

Someone called him “Nigga”, they yelled it from the door.

His grandmother heard it in her bedroom, the pet name ripped her to the core.

“Hold up”, he yelled from the window, “Need to tell Grams, I leaving.”

He approached his grandmother quietly, tears were flowing, he thought she was grieving.

“Gram, are you okay?  What has upset you so?”

She looked in her grandson’s face only hoping he could see their souls.

The souls of the heritage she knew, her raising was from the deep south,

The souls that would cringe from the pain they suffered from the whips and chains, as the Masta’s spit the name “Nigga'” from their mouths.

“Gram, why are you crying so?  Are you hurt, what can I get for you?”

The souls that took it all, in spite of it all, those who stood tall so you can do what you do.

“Gram, nod your head please speak to me, tell me what you need.”

The words of her grandson hit her heart he was a part of their seed.

She patted her face with her tattered dress, calming herself to speak.

He waited patiently, as the name “Nigga, yo Nigga” was spoken as tough it was a beat.

His grandmother shook her head and wept again, her grandsons feelings were touched.

The love his grandmother had for him had been destroyed in one word, her teachings crushed.

She taught him from the time he was able to walk he was the descendant of warriors and kings.

If he answered to the call of “Nigga” or “boy” what did her teachings mean.

She taught him that although his father and uncles were not what they were deemed to be.

God would see her in the grave before she would let the streets take  another from the family tree.

“Nigga you comin’ or what? What you want me to do”

Her grandson spoke ever so softly, “Gram you know I love you.”

“Go head man and don’t yell no more……by the way my name is Raheem.”

He returned to his grandmother and opened his arms.

“Gram, tell me more about those kings.”

Open Letter to Juanita Bynum

I received this in an email from one of my friends and I felt the need to share if with you all. So read it and tell me what you think. I personally think the person make some interesting points.

Dear Juanita Bynum:

My theology causes me to align with those on the underside of a society. As Matthew 25 teaches, wherever we can identify the poor, the abused, the marginalized, and those living under the weight of structural and systemic injustice, we can find God working on behalf of the “least of these.” This is why my heart goes out to you. Credible reports corroborate your story of being a victim of domestic violence. And, if this is true, you have experienced a heinous act that all too many women are forced to live with and endure on a daily basis.

Having said this, I now must express my concern. I am scared that your actions in recent weeks are rendering you about as credible to the cause of fighting domestic violence as O.J. Simpson. Let’s begin with your, er, umm, performance on TBN. While I can appreciate the efficacious dimensions of prayer and praise, there is also a time for well thought action and spiritual sobriety.

For instance, I did not understand your illogical and irresponsible assertions such as “on that ground that night I slipped into my purpose.” You were a victim of domestic violence, period! There was nothing atoning or redemptive about what happened to you. And all that rhetorical jargon about not breaking the covenant with your husband and being spiritually submissive only recirculates the very notions of power and abuse that fosters domestic violence in the first place. Rather than doing the “Harlem Shake” to Byron Cage that night, why didn’t you use your platform to present the phone numbers to domestic abuse hotlines and women’s shelters? Or how about providing resources for women who currently find themselves in violent relationships. Say what you will about Bishop Jakes’ response, or lack thereof, to your situation, at least he didn’t turn tragedy into a praise-a-thon.

But to be fair, I know you may have gotten caught up in the moment. It was a highly emotional time for you. But this is why you need to be careful. There are real forces that seek to dismiss the issue of domestic violence in the church in general and discredit you in particular. You should know this. So wouldn’t you think that making statements such as “Juanita Bynum will be for domestic violence what Martin Luther King, Jr. was to civil rights,” just might come across as a little self-serving and solipsistic? Moreover, what is up with not being able to discuss your story during an interview on Tom Joyner last week because you had already sold the exclusive rights to Essence magazine? These sorts of comments and actions only add fuel to the flames of skepticism for those who already believe that you are more of a Profiteer than a Prophetess.

But all is not lost, Sister Bynum. Not yet at least. There is still hope that you won’t have to go out like Britney Spears. So allow me to offer a few suggestions that may help you regain both your focus and perspective: First, rethink your desire to be the “new face of domestic violence.” You say this with pride as if you are on a season of America’s Next Top Model. This is neither a popularity contest nor a time to exploit the situation. Rather, this is a time that you can use your status to introduce America to the almost one million women that are victimized annually who cannot hold a press conference at posh hotels nor recover from their wounds with a deluxe spa package. Lift them up. Tell their story.

You missed what could have been a powerful, informative and educational moment on TBN. What if you had told the story of a 35 year old Haitian immigrant that was beaten, raped and sodomized along with her son in the Dunbar Housing Projects of Miami while neighbors closed their windows to her screams for help? This is the face that America needs to see in order to indict us concerning our culpability and complicit silence. Or try lending your support to the case of Megan Williams in West Virginia that was senselessly raped, tortured and maimed by six white supremacists earlier this month. While we have googled you and Bishop Weeks to keep up with your drama, these are the stories that need to be discussed and written about. So shame on us for being all too consumed with you. And shame on you for not redirecting our attention to the suffering of others.

Second, suspend your mentoring class and go get mentored yourself. If you are sincere about your interest in being a victim’s advocate, obtain real anti-violence and awareness training from specialists in the field. Learn the litigation procedures that are already in place and even the appropriate language that should be used. There is no need for you to call your own session of Congress to introduce the Juanita bill, when you can sign your name and support legislation that advocates are already pushing forward. Moreover, to be frank, your hyper-spiritual cliché phrases and homiletic tropes that “move the crowd” on TBN may prove contradictory and quixotic outside of the very insular world of televangelism. I would hate to see you on Oprah trying to jump up and get your whoop on because the “anointing got so’ thick up in here.” And if you are going to be a credible domestic violence counselor, you can’t encourage women by tel! ling th em that you got “beat down to get your breakthrough.” If you are going to extend your influence Juanita, you are going to have to do better than falling back to your familiar.

Finally, take a sabbatical from the media. We know that you are a gifted televangelist. And we know that you are trying to make ground on Paula White (trust me, I am cheering for you). But everything in your life does not have to play out in front of a microphone. You have twisted, flipped and spun this event in every way possible. Your credibility and integrity are both on the line, my dear sister. And times like these call for decorum and tact not a whoop and a homily. Be still and know that God is still God. And if you handle yourself accordingly, others will rise up to fight your battles in public. There are too many who find what happened to you horrible and despicable. And, more importantly, there are too many who realized long before your unfortunate occurrence that domestic violence just can’t be talked about, it must be fought against.

Be blessed, Juanita.

One Luv,

JLW

P.S. Please scrap the book idea!

The Fading of A Pioneer for Interracial Romance

Earlier this month, Mildred Loving passed away of pneumonia at the age of 68. Ms. Loving wasn’t an ordinary African American inhabitant of Virginia. She became a pioneer for interracial romance in 1950’s when she and her Caucasian husband, Richard, where arrested for living as husband and wife in Caroline County. Like many states at that time, Virginia’s Racial Integrity Act, also called an anti-miscegenation law, prohibited marriage between the races. As a result, the doting couple went to Washington D.C. where interracial marriage was legalized. Shortly after their return, the newlyweds were arrested and jailed for being in love and having the courage to marry. The couple pleaded guilty and was sentenced to one year in jail. Imprisonment could be avoided if the couple agreed to leave the state of Virginia for a minimum of 25 years. If they wish to return, they could not do so together. The basis of this judgment rested in the judge’s belief that if God had intended for the races to mix, they would not have originated on different continents.

The couple accepted the suspended sentence and moved to Washing D.C. In 1963, the Lovings began their court battle to have their sentence declared unconstitutional based on the Fourteen Amendment which prohibits the states to limit liberties without due process. The Lovings were being deprived of the right to marry, since the anti-miscegenation law only applied to other races intermarrying with Whites. The Loving case traveled all the way to the U.S Supreme Court. In 1967, the Supreme Court ruled that marriage is a civil liberty of every free citizen and the states cannot interfere in a free man’s choice of mate. Marrying outside of his/her race is a decision that must be made from within.

I first came across the Loving case, when I was researching the history of interracial and multicultural romance. It was in salute to the 40th anniversary of the landmark case, that brought this couple’s courage to my attention. It was so ironic to see the headline, “No Loving in Virginia” and “Loving v. Virginia”, because the unexplainable act of loving was on trial. Like most who make history, Mildred and Richard Loving only wanted the freedom to love each other and build a life together. For them, it was a desire worth fighting for.

Much like everything that was once opposed, multiculturalism and inter racialism have a long history. The Loving case, while not the first was the most progressive. Court cases involving interracial marriage date back to 1883, where the state of Alabama ruled in Pace v. Alabama ruled that interracial sex was a felony and was not unconstitutional since both participants were punished equally, while extramarital sex without the interracial component was only considered a misdemeanor at the time. The debate for mixed marriages came up again in Arizona with the court case Kirby v. Kirby. In the case, Mr. Kirby was seeking an annulment because he deemed the marriage as invalid based on his wife being of negro descent. The court judged based on Mrs. Kirby’s physical appearance and reached the conclusion that she was of mixed race thereby granting Mr. Kirby his request. In support of the “one drop” law, the state of California in 1939 invalidated Mr. and Mrs. Monk’s marriage because Marie Antoinette Monk was one-eighth negro in a disputed probate case over Allen Monk’s estate. Despite taking the case to the U.S. Supreme Court in 1942, the marriage remained invalid.

It was in 1948 with the California case, Perez v. Sharp, that the ban on interracial marriage was finally viewed as being in violation of the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. Shortly thereafter, various religious groups including the Presbyterian and Roman Catholic faiths announced no condemnation for interracial marriage.

Having won their battle, the Lovings went on to live the life they had planned together which included a family of three children. In 1975 Richard Loving died in a car crash. Mildred went on to witness the growth of the family her and Richard started together.

On the fortieth anniversary of the landmark case, Mildred Loving, who rarely gave interviews, had this to say:

Surrounded as I am now by wonderful children and grandchildren, not a day goes by that I don’t think of Richard and our love, our right to marry, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the “wrong kind of person” for me to marry. I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people’s religious beliefs over others. Especially if it denies people’s civil rights.

I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard’s and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness, and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about (http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2007/06/mildred_loving_.html).

References:

http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=US&vol=388&invol=1

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=10889047

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080505/ap_on_re_us/obit_loving

Images in Reflection

 I participated in the Grown & Sexy broadcast of the Black Authors Network this weekend on Blogtalk Radio. Amidst the sexy titles and erotic explorations came real conversations about definitions of sexuality.

·                      What makes one homosexual?

·                      Are you bisexual or just a freak?

·                     Can a person be “on the down-low” and still be straight?

·                      Why aren’t women who experiment with other women automatically considered gay and men are?  

 All those in attendance agreed that healthy sexual interest begins with some level of attraction. What interested me most was what wasn’t being discussed. Everyone assumed that finding attractiveness in others instantly leads to sexual desire. That being said,  straight people would only remark positively about specific physical features exhibited by members of the same sex in relation to body characteristics they wish to acquire. In other words, a straight man would not admire the tight ass or ripped abs of another man for the sake of the taut body part itself. It can only be recognized as an example of how the admiring man would like to fix his own self-perceived flaws. Some women on the panel expressed the same for themselves.

  That part of the conversation struck a chord with me in that we as people should be able to recognize the beauty in others regardless of gender or orientation without sexual desire or sexual preference coming into play.

            I am a heterosexual black woman and, as one panel member remarked, I am an erotic person by nature. I can see the eroticism in another female and not desire her in any way. I can recognize what makes her sexy and have no desire to possess her. I can also see the sexual prowess of a man and not want to go to bed with him. While nothing makes my panties buzz more than a man’s strong shoulders and a nice broad chest, I take pride in the fact that I can appreciate another woman’s beauty without feeling threatened and without feeling less sexy in my own right. I don’t think I am physically perfect, but I realize that there will always be someone taller, someone with a flatter stomach and longer hair.

             Once we can all view beautiful bodies of both genders without it defining our sexuality, we will come closer to understanding why we love who we love. 

            If only it were that simple. As curious children sneaking peaks at Dad’s girlie magazines and as teenagers practicing intimacy with each other, society teaches us to control our urges instead of being a slave to them. Then with adulthood comes the right to pursue those urges, even be consumed by them. Something that was meant to be so beautiful and pleasurable has become so perverted in the search for instant gratification. So much so, we can’t admire the sexual energy of others without calling our motives into question.

  The human body and its sexuality should be viewed like a piece of artwork. It should be admired, expressed and appreciated simply because it exists in its natural state. Sexuality which is as old as humanity itself holds only the connotation we assign to it. For some it’s pure ecstasy while others associate excruciating pain in its power to make one vulnerable.

            As long as we are obsessed with sex and its personification, happiness with our bodies and our sexuality will remain outside our comfort zone.

 

Have You Ever Been Sexually Abused?

Have You Ever Been Sexually Abused?

 

by Stephanie L. Jones

 

 April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, as well as National Child Abuse Awareness Month

 

 

Child Sexual Abuse. It’s something that no one wants to talk about. It’s shameful, embarrassing, and humiliating. But it’s something that affects every family at some point in time. Therefore, we must talk about it.

One in 3 females and 1 in 5 males are sexually abused as children and 90% of the time it’s at the hands of a family member, close family friend, or trusted leader. It’s not a stranger on the street, but it’s someone the victim loves and trust. Some of the results of sexual abuse include low self-esteem, health problem, sexual promiscuity, teenage pregnancy, abortion, excessive spending habits, and problems forming and maintaining relationships.

• 66% of teen pregnancies and abortions are preceded by sexual abuse.
• 96% of prostitutes were sexual abuse victims.
• 75% of rapists were sexual abuse victims.
• 60% of children who experience abuse and neglect are more likely to be arrested at some point in their lives.

I know what it feels like to endure years of sexual abuse and suffer in silence. I was sexually abused for over seven years, beginning at age five. However, it wasn’t until I was almost 30 years old that I told someone about it and addressed how it affected my teenage and young adult life. Through prayer and spending time with God, I realized that what happened to me as a child didn’t just go away. God showed me how it led to one bad decision after the next. But, most importantly, I learned the steps to heal from it!

1. What are some steps abuse victims can take to begin the healing process?

First, the person should pray and ask God to show them how they’re still being affected by it. There are side effects that seem to exist amongst all victims, but they do vary by person. Secondly, talk to someone! Keeping silent doesn’t make it go away or stop the pain. Sexual abuse is a heavy burden to bear alone. Last, forgive the offender. Forgiveness is a decision and something that a person purposes in their heart to do. It doesn’t make the abuse right nor does it mean they must have a relationship with the offender. It means letting go of the anger and resentment in one’s own heart. There may be other necessary steps. It depends on where the victim/survivor is at in life. But this is a great place to start!

1. Only 15% of abuse cases are ever revealed. Why don’t victims tell?

There’s no one reason, but usually as a child, the victim is not aware of the seriousness of the situation. Sometimes they feel like participants and are afraid of getting in trouble. Oftentimes it’s an issue of fear. Ninety-percent of the time the offender is a family member or close family friend. No one wants someone they love or another family member to serve 10-25 years in prison for child molestation.

1. What can other people do to help remedy this problem?

Be more selective about where and with whom they allow their children to spend their time, including with family members, friends, and leaders. Pay attention to children’s actions and conversations. Stop making sexual abuse the family secret! Keeping quiet only allows for it to go on generation after generation. Also, get children help when child-on-child sexual abuse takes place. This will prevent them from becoming teenage and adult child molesters.

Stephanie L. Jones, author of The Enemy Between My Legs, is a highly sought after speaker for schools, organizations, and churches. A sexual abuse survivor, she knows and understands the effects that it has on a victim’s life. She is committed to helping others, especially teenage girls and young women, find healing from the pain of their past. Purchase the book or connect with Stephanie confidentially at www.stephanieljones.com

 

 

 

The Task At Hand

Hello All,
As most of you know who follow this column, I am a Christian fiction writer and author. I stated this because I wanted you to know being an author, a Christian fiction author at that, is my purpose in life as far as my gifts and talents. I believe I have been chosen, appointed and assigned to write and speak. It’s a joy to be able to do what you love and get paid for doing it. For this, I am truly thankful to God. This doesn’t mean that I don’t become exhausted at times or that I don’t frown at the word ‘deadline’ every now and again, because I do. It does mean however, that the task at hand is one that I do love. Like many, I would love to make lots and lots of money; I won’t lie about that. Yet, it also means that even if I don’t make lots and lots of money, I will still continue to do what God has called me to do – write and speak according to His will and in His way.

Many writers/authors, I’ve been fortunate to meet in person and online, are not concerned with whether or not they reap the financial benefits of their craft, especially the Christian writers I have spoken to. They are concerned with getting out the message that God has given them to depart. I too believe this and uphold this as well. But I also believe that God will greatly reward me financially here on earth for doing that which he has given me to do. After all, he owns the cattle on a thousand hills; all that is and ever was belongs to Him. I am His child, called according to His purpose, and not only that, I am an heir and a joint heir as well as adopted into His kingdom.

What person or parent do you know willfully withholds their wealth, good fortune and bounty of good from their children? There are some who do, I must admit, but it’s usually based on a world of greed, selfishness and sin. But the God I worship and adore is perfect and He loves me unconditionally, at least that’s what I believe. He is my Daddy, my Father, my God and my Lord. Therefore, I have no problem asking my ‘Daddy’ for the things I desire. I do desire wealth, great wealth. I do desire my books to be on the New York Times bestsellers’ list. I do desire to write life-altering books that bless people, both those of faith and those who do not believe what I believe. I do give my all to the ‘task at hand.’ I do want to be appreciated and recognized. That’s simply human nature. But my first priority is to do that, which I am supposed to be doing, and that’s why I strive and I work hard and I do my best to become the best.

I am to do me and you do you, but doing me means reaching, hoping, dreaming, looking, searching, expecting for the greater, finer things of life. I want to leave a legacy that will go through generations and that legacy includes the books I’ve written, the speeches I’ve spoken, and the money I’ve made for doing these things.
Now, before each of you, I stand on my faith and I ask God to enlarge my territory, to increase my wealth so much so that I will be able to do great and marvelous things for others and for my family, to bless each word that I write and speak, to bring my vision into being. I want to accomplish the task at hand and I do expect to be rewarded here on earth and in heaven.

Jeremiah 29:11 – 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future!

www.shelialipsey.com

Secret Sex Wars: A Battle Cry for Purity

Book Review: Secret Sex Wars: A Battle Cry for Purity by Robert Scott, Sr.

Posted: 06 Apr 2008 02:56 PM CDT 

 

Secret Sex Wars: A Battle Cry For Purity
By Robert S. Scott, Sr.

Reviewed by Wanda B. Campbell
For The Culture Clique Book Club
Amazon rating: 5

Sound the Alarm!
Finally, there is a comprehensive book on sexual sin with real solutions.

 

In Secret Sex Wars: A Battle Cry For Purity, author Robert S. Scott, teams up with seven others to tackle and dispel societal myths and to proclaim the truth as presented in the Bible concerning sexual sin.

The targeted audience for this practical guide is African American Christian males, struggling with sexual perversions such as, fornication, pornography, homosexuality, and adultery. However, the
Biblical principles outlined are not limited to ethnicity, but to all who believe in the delivering power of Jesus Christ.

Where other books conclude with identifying the immorality plaguing our communities, Secret Sex Wars: A Battle Cry For Purity, takes the reader by the hand and walks him through the battlefield and into his deliverance.

This book is a must read for every Christian male!

Paperback: 208 pages
Publisher: Lift Every Voice (May 1, 2008)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0802485510
ISBN-13: 978-0802485519

When Life Deals Out Bad Hands

When Life Deals Out Bad Hands Posted by: “Alicia Mcghee” aliciacmcghee@yahoo.com 
They say life is good, but not everyone can find the truth in
a statement that in many cases can be looked at as one-sided. Life is
like a game of Spades; you’ve got some that may have the best hands
dealt out when there’s that one with the messed up hand that’s not by
choice. While some are born with silver spoons, many dream and pray
for that same spoon & comfortable life filled with love, laughter,
security, & most of all; family. A mother who’s the best mother she
could ever be to her children and a father who would always hold up
to his promises and never leave his family.

Sounds like a picturesque fairytale that always concludes with a happily ever
after ending & a beautiful sunshine that keeps our lives shinning bright.
While there are living testimonies behind the good, there are
living testimonies behind the bad. The one’s whose eyes have seen
more than what they should’ve seen & ears who’ve heard things that
they shouldn’t have heard. What you know about a testimony that
includes all forms of abuse from sexual to physical? Well if you’ve
never heard a testimony like that then you’re not apart of this world
because in the real world, these events are taking place in homes
across the world. All races, cultures, & creeds are becoming victims
to what life deals them whether it is a dysfunctional household to
excessive drug use.

I guess with these types of issues, you would expect it to only
affect the low income families, but abuse sees no class or stature
because there are plenty of victims who come from upper & middle
class homes. Regardless of the race or background, many children’s
lives are being corrupted by hardships, verbal abuse, physical abuse,
& neglect. With these terrible situations, these children grow up
with deep rooted scars that can A: change them for the better or B:
who will continue to live hard & rough because they feel like there’s
no other way. This is the life they know and with that stored in
their mental storages, they take on the same experiences and continue
to allow the negative to build.

It seems like once a child has been sexually abused, they grow up
with lack of self-esteem in search for the love that was lacked in
the household. That’s when little girls grow up to young women who
bounce from man to man thinking that sex will achieve real love when
in actuality it isn’t. Little boys will grow up to be young men in
search for that positive role model to teach them what it takes to be
a man, but the only influences that they have around them are usually
dope boys, pimps, hustlers, & thugs. A lot of these boys who will
turn into men, a huge percentage of them are born into fatherless
families with no choice but to take on the responsibilities as the
man of the house. A mother can only do so much when it comes to
raising sons, but it takes a man to show that boy how to be a man and
when that positive role model isn’t handy, then they gravitate to
what’s available in their environment.

Whatever the circumstances may be, just know that there is hope in
changing your life for the better. Madea said it best when she said
It’s not where you come from, it’s where you’re going and I’m a firm
believer in that because dreams can come true and life is definitely
what you make it. Don’t allow your past trials & tribulations stunt
your growth when it comes to striving for better. Take it from me,
I’ve came from a single parent home with a mother who was obligated
to the military without a father figure in my life. I’ve also
overcame mental, emotional, physical, & sexual abuse. I know what
it’s like to be hungry and without lights, and I’ve even experienced
being homeless.

Not only have I’ve dealt with the abuse from my mother, I’ve also
dealt with major abuse from past relationships. I’ve been manipulated
& taken advantage of by folks who claimed to have loved me or cared
about me. I’ve endured plenty heartache and let downs in my life, but
I can’t allow the past to jeopardize my future. I take all the bad in
stride and flipped it into something positive, I guess that’s why
I’ve been blessed with the talent of writing because my shell has
been through & seen a lot of drama to relay into stories. God takes
us through things for a reason and I guess in order for me to be able
to write about pain, love, let downs, betrayal, & sex, I’ve had to go
through the journey in order to learn from it and apply it to
something that can be beneficial to someone else.

I don’t want to say that I was dealt out a bad hand, but my life
wasn’t filled with white picket fences, servants, & nannies, I was
introduced to something called reality and my reality just happened
to involve a lot of things that have broken me & have molded me to
the person I am today. In my younger years, I chose to run to a gang
because I was seeking acceptance, love, & something I could look at
as a family. My decisions to bang was my decision and I wouldn’t
change it because it took for my eyes to see the negative sides of
gangbanging and it took for me to have those experiences in order for
me to change for the better. Thank god I’ve never been locked up, but
during the years of being associated to the street game, I’ve watched
a lot of lives become lost due to the violence. I could have been
killed or could have became lost in the system behind taking someone
else’s life, but with the strength and the grace of god, I took all
of those negatives and flipped it into something positive.

So whatever you go through in life, always know that the light is
always at the end of the tunnel and that you can survive the storm.
Life is what you make it and even though the devil can build up
plenty of road blocks in your life, its up to you to make that change
and reclaim your life from not having a pot to piss in & a window to
throw it out of to making something of yourself and claiming your
own. I wanted to come share these words with you all because this
subject was definitely heavy on my heart. So if you ever feel like
you’re all alone in this struggle we call life, don’t be because
there is always somebody who can relate to what you’re going through.
It’s like the Keyshia Cole song; just know that I’m just like you.

Alicia C. McGhee

Sexual Abuse: Gag Order Has Been Lifted

 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Stephanie L. Jones
P.O. Box 401363
Redford, MI 48240
Phone: 877.832.6575 | media@stephanieljones.com
www.stephanieljones.com

Sexual Abuse, The Gag Order Has Been Lifted

Detroit, MI – In her bold new book The Enemy Between My Legs author, Stephanie L. Jones, tackles the tough subject of child sexual abuse. In what Disilgold Magazine and The RAWSISTAZ Reviewers calls, “A well written revelation and a must read for every man and woman,” readers are uninhibitedly allowed into the heart and soul of a sexual abuse survivor. Jones shares how over seven years of child molestation, which began at age five, haunted her and continuously resurfaced in her teenage and adult life in the forms of promiscuity, substance abuse and difficulties in maintaining interpersonal relationships.

“It’s very difficult to tell a young person not to have sex once they’ve been sexually abused. No one could tell me not to. My first sexual experience was at age five. I had been touched, kissed, and fondled so much as a child that by age of 13, I didn’t want it to stop,” says Jones. 

Jones is not alone. Shockingly, one in three females and one in five males are sexually abused. According to the organizations Darkness to Light and ChildHelp.com, the effects of sexual abuse extend far beyond the years in which it actually takes place and ends. What’s even more shocking is that studies also reveal that 90% of sexual abuse cases occur at the hands of a family member, close family friend, or trusted leader.

• 66% of teen pregnancies and abortions are preceded by sexual assault.
• 96% of prostitutes were sexual abuse victims.
• 75% of rapists were sexual abuse victims.
• 60% of children who experience abuse and neglect are more likely to be arrested.
• Sexual abuse victims often suffer self-esteem, health, financial and weight problems.
 
“Sexual abuse is a taboo subject. No one wants to talk about it,” says Jones. “When it is discussed people tend to reference internet predators, neighborhood pedophiles and strangers lurking in the park. But most sexual abuse takes place right in our homes between fathers, daughters, mothers, siblings, uncles, aunts, and other family members. We need to address what’s happening in our very own families!”

At times the book was somewhat painful to write because of the memories she had to summons up, but it was something she felt compelled to do. With this book Jones turned the negative experiences of her childhood into a manual of self defense for parents and other caretakers seeking to protect their children. It will assist adults who were victims of sexual abuse in understanding how those experiences might be affecting their lives today, as well as serve as a self-help guide for those seeking freedom from the bondage of their past.    

Stephanie L. Jones is a highly sought-after speaker for schools, churches, and organizations. Having suffered over years of sexual abuse, she knows the effects that it can have on a victim’s life.  Contact 877.832.6575, media@stephanieljones.com, or visit http://www.stephanieljones.com.

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